


The Captain and Her Angry Warrior

by searider_Falcon



Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: Baby Fic, Endgame Fix-It, F/M, happy-ish ending, please read the summary or notes whatever it is, the future I wanted for them, trip down nogstalia lane
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-07
Updated: 2018-04-07
Packaged: 2019-04-19 16:43:53
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 19
Words: 56,771
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14241546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/searider_Falcon/pseuds/searider_Falcon
Summary: An Endgame fix-it and fluffy future life.





	1. Returning Home

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ: This was my very first fic ever written. It's choppy, jumps POV and timelines - my writing has definitely improved since then. I tried my best to fix what really wasn't working but I didn't want to rewrite the entire thing because, well, you'll see...
> 
> I wrote this two years ago to help me through an emotional rough patch - so that's why there are probably a lot of out of character moments - especially with character's internal thoughts - but still...writing this gave me hope for and light at the end of the tunnel. 
> 
> I guess this could be characterized an Endgame fix-it and then little moments in a future I wanted for J/C because they deserved it. 
> 
> Also - I hope I set up these chapters correctly - this is the first time I'm using them.

Earth was getting bigger in the viewscreen. The bridge was silent except for the hum of Voyager’s impulse engines and air recyclers. Chakotay sat at the helm, piloting Voyager, on its final leg of their seven-year journey. He felt the Captain come to stand next to him on his right. He waited for her customary hand on his shoulder but it never came. He looked up from the console to look at her. She was staring at the viewscreen. Her eyes were watery and an expression of disbelief on her face. Chakotay wanted to reach out to her but thought better of it. The past year had put a strain on their relationship. It was safe to say that their friendship was in shambles. It didn’t help matters that he had entered into a relationship with Seven; something that he hadn’t told the Captain about but had a feeling she knew. She didn’t mention it, didn’t congratulate him, or wish him luck at his newfound happiness and that made him resentful. After all, they were supposed to be friends. Now, she stood next to him, closer than she ever had in the past year. He watched her as she brought a hand to her mouth, trying to suppress her feelings and hide behind her Captain’s mask. 

Chakotay piloted Voyager and said, “We’ve entered standard orbit, Captain.”  
Kathryn looked at him and for a second Chakotay was able to see the relief and joy on her face. On seeing him Kathryn’s face quickly changed into an expression he couldn’t read. She was guarded and said, “Very good, Commander,” as she turned away from him. 

“Kathryn,” Chakotay started but the Captain was already walking toward her Ready Room, mumbling that he had command of the bridge. 

Chakotay watched her go. He could feel Seven’s eyes on him and he looked back to the helm controls. He found crewman Grimes, at the junior officer’s station and ordered him to take the conn. Chakotay turned to his station in the middle of the bridge, giving Seven a quick smile before sitting in his usual seat. He glanced to the Captain’s Ready Room and with a pang of regret, felt disappointed. He thought Voyager’s homecoming would be a catalyst in reforming his friendship with Kathryn but it was clear that she wasn’t ready to do that. 

The next hour was full of communiqués from Starfleet Command, ordering a quarantine of the crew and a communications blackout. Chakotay had been moving between Tuvok’s tactical station and Operations speaking with Harry. Seven had reported to Engineering to help with repairs and Chakotay was slightly relieved that she had left the bridge. He wasn’t sure how the crew would react to their relationship and now wasn’t the time to test the waters. It was hectic on the bridge but despite the crew’s obvious desire to speak with their loved ones, they understood why it was necessary, but Chakotay was still concerned about the forced silence. Just that morning they were in the Delta Quadrant finalizing plans with Admiral Janeway. 

Final orders were coming in from headquarters as Tuvok announced the message, “Commander, Starfleet command has ordered us to dock at drydock 4 at Utopia Planitia.” 

“Understood,” Chakotay sighed. 

He glanced at the Captain’s Ready Room again. He was frustrated with her lack of enthusiasm. She should be on the bridge. She should be the one issuing orders. This was her moment, everything she had been working towards for seven years. She had scarified so much for this moment; including their friendship. 

“Bridge to Lieutenant Paris” Chakotay said. 

“Paris here,” Chakotay heard Tom reply. 

“Sorry to pull you away from B’Elanna and the baby, Tom, but I need you up here,” Chakotay said. 

After a pause, Tom responded, “On my way.”

Chakotay went back to his seat and flipped open the command console. He busied himself with a PADD, prepared the slew of orders that were sent to Voyager for the Captain to review. The turbolift doors behind him opened and Tom stepped out. 

“Well,” Harry said, “How’s B’Elanna? How’s the baby?” 

“They’re both doing just fine,” Tom said. He had the biggest smile on his face that Chakotay had ever seen. It was full of joy, nerves, and pride. For a moment, Chakotay felt jealous of the younger man but he pushed the feeling aside. He was genuinely happy for Tom. He was proof that people could change their ways. Tom had matured a lot during their voyage and found Chakotay’s best friend, B’Elanna. Chakotay smiled. B’Elanna deserved this happiness as much as Tom. She had been just as lost and troubled. It filled Chakotay with a contented happiness that his friend found a purpose and joy in life. 

“Tom, we’re ordered to dock at Utopia Planitia, I figured you’d like to do the honors,” Chakotay said with a small smile. 

“Yes sir,” Tom said and clapped crewman Grimes on the shoulder and relieve him from his post. 

Tom sat down and asked, “Why send us there? Why can’t we just stay in orbit? I’m not complaining or anything…” 

Chakotay didn’t respond. He went back to preparing the PADD. There wasn’t much more to do. He looked at the Ready Room doors again. He sighed and stood. 

“Tuvok, you have the bridge, notify me when we’ve docked,” he said and walked to the Ready Room.   
Tuvok nodded, “Acknowledged.” 

Chakotay rang the chime at the Ready Room door and waited. He heard the Captain’s “Come in” and he entered the room, letting the doors close behind him with a swish. 

The Captain was sitting on her couch, which surprised him. He figured she’d be behind her desk, working. Watching from where he stood just inside the door, she looked tired. Her face was turned away from him as she stared out the window. He waited for a moment for her to acknowledge him and when she didn’t, he spoke. 

“We have orders to dock at Utopia Planitia. I’ve ordered Tom to take us there, I figured he’d like that particular honor,” he said with a smile. He hoped that would prompt her to turn toward him. Offer one of her crooked grins but she didn’t. It confused him. 

Without turning from the window, she said, “That was very thoughtful Commander.”

Her voice shook and Chakotay had the distinct feeling that she had been crying. 

“Kathryn,” he started, but she cut him off.

“Was there anything else Commander?”

The use of his rank hurt him. Every time she used it, it felt like she was take another step away from their friendship, away from him.   
He looked down at his feet and sighed again.

“I have more orders from Starfleet command. Voyager is to initiate a communications blackout until further notice. No outgoing communications will be authorized except for contact with Starfleet Command. The crew is to follow a quarantine procedure until official debriefings are finished.” 

He paused, waiting for her reaction. 

She finally did turn to him. Her eyes were slightly red but there were no traces of tears on her face. She did look tired and he wished she would talk to him. He expected her to be angry with the quarantine and communications orders but she surprised him.

“Very well,” she said. 

Chakotay looked down at the PADD and said, “They want to debrief every member of the crew, it’s all here.”

She finally stood and walked toward him. She reached out for the PADD and he handed it to her. She glanced at it as she walked around to her desk. 

She scrolled through the PADD and said, “We’re supposed to go through a week of debriefings?” 

She looked up and there was a flash of anger in her eyes that Chakotay a surge of hope. 

“That’s what they said,” he answered, he stepped towards her desk. “Looks like we’ll cover several crewman a day. Senior officers are last. Starfleet said we’re required to be present for each one. It’ll be a long week but if that’s what it takes to end the journey, I’ll suffer through it,” he said. He smiled at her, hoping she’d relax at his lighthearted response. 

As she looked at him, sadness washed over her face. 

“That’s it then,” she said, “the end of the journey.”

Chakotay wasn’t sure how to respond to that. He opened his mouth to say something when Tuvok’s voice echoed in the quiet room.   
“Tuvok to the Captain,” he said. 

“Janeway here,” Kathryn said. 

“We’ve docked at Utopia Planitia,” 

“Thank you Commander,” she said and she stepped around the desk and headed to the bridge. 

Chakotay followed her. 

Tuvok looked toward the Captain from his station and said, “Captain, crewman Chell would like permission to begin a party in the mess hall,” said Harry. 

“Permission granted,” the Captain said as she sat in her chair in the center of the bridge, “Secure all stations. I want damage repair schedules from department heads by 1300 hours.” 

There were responses of “Aye Captain” from around the bridge. 

Chakotay felt content as he sat next to her on the bridge. She leaned close to him to review the command console and he felt like it was almost like old times. Except if it was truly like their friendship wasn’t slipping away, they would have been flirting, happily joking about Chell’s Red Alert Chili. Instead she was closed off, all business. Chakotay silently kicked himself for expecting anything different. If this past year had taught him anything, it was that her duty to the ship was the most important thing in her life. 

When 1300 finally rolled around, the department head’s reports were delivered and reviewed by both him and the Captain. By 1500, repairs were complete and the crew were notified of their debriefing schedules. The Captain left the bridge leaving Chakotay in charge. He, like the rest of the bridge crew, except perhaps Tuvok, were anxious for their shift to end to join the party in the mess hall. When the time finally came, Chakotay left and headed to Astrometics. Perhaps seeing Seven would improve his mood. He forced himself to smile as he entered Astrometics where she worked at the center console. She greeted him in her customary short manner and he sat on the sensor platform. After an exhaustive attempt, he had persuaded her to join him and go to the party in the mess hall, several hours later. 

The walked mostly in silence to the turbolift and when the doors of the lift closed behind them she said, “The crew seem very pleased to be home.”

Her statement sounded forced and Chakotay knew she was attempting small talk; something she always felt was irrelevant.   
“Yes, I image, emotions will be high for quite some time. Especially during the week of debriefings.” He wasn’t sure what else to say. He was slightly annoyed that it took so long to convince her to go to the party and was frustrated that she didn’t share in his euphoria in finally being back in the Alpha Quadrant. He told himself that she was nervous and that this was new experience for her. He would have to be patient and supportive. They arrived on Deck 2 and Seven mechanically placed her arm in the crook of his elbow as they entered the mess hall. 

The room was full and people were smiling, laughing, and hugging each other. It warmed his heart to the crew, Starfleet and former Maquis sharing this experience as they shared so many in the Delta Quadrant. His good feelings did not last long however, when he entered further into the mess hall with Seven on his arm, the crew’s look of surprise and confusion, made him uneasy. He glanced at Seven, who seem oblivious to their behavior. 

As they past several groups of crewman, he overheard them say,“What is he doing with her?”

Chakotay felt his face get hot and was slightly hurt that the crew was uncomfortable with his newfound happiness. He tried to ignore the glares and confused looks thrown his way. He found B’Elanna and rushed to her side, Seven in tow. Chakotay was anxious to see the baby.   
B’Elanna sat at one of the tables, holding her newborn daughter. Chakotay greeted her a genuine dimpled smile. She smiled back. She had the same expression that Tom had earlier, joy and pride. 

“Chakotay,” B’Elanna said, “Meet Miral.” 

B’Elanna handed her daughter to Chakotay to hold. Chakotay looked at the tiny baby in his arms. Her forehead ridges weren’t as pronounced as her mothers but were clearly there. 

“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Tom said, joining them with Harry at his side. He stood next to B’Elanna’s chair. 

“She is,” Chakotay said, “Well done, Tom.” He said giving Tom a look an approval. Tom smiled in return. 

“I didn’t expect to see you here, Seven. I didn’t think social gatherings were really your thing.” Harry said. 

“They are not. But Commander Chakotay stated it was important that I attend with him.” Seven said. 

At the group’s confused looks, Seven added, “The Commander and I have entered into a romantic relationship.” 

Chakotay blushed again, carefully avoided eye contact with the group. He didn’t have to look at them to know what their reactions would be. Tom opened and closed his mouth several times, deciding that saying nothing would be best. Harry stared in shock, while B’Elanna spoke first. 

“What!” She looked to Chakotay. Chakotay tried to smile back but the situation didn’t allow his smile to stay on his face long. 

“That’s -" B’Elanna started but Tom cut her off, placing a hand on her shoulder.

“Great!” He said. 

Seven nodded, missing the knowing look between Tom and B’Elanna. 

The next few minutes pasted awkwardly and Chakotay tried to turn the focus away from him and onto to something else. Anything else. Chakotay maneuvered Miral so he nestled her between his body and forearm. Holding her tightly in one hand, he placed his left hand on her forehead and closed his eyes. He silently mouthed the blessing he remembered from childhood. Welcoming the new child to world. When he opened his eyes B’Elanna was crying as she smiled at two of them. Even Tom’s eyes were misty at their first officer’s acceptance of their daughter. 

“Thank you, Chakotay,” B’Elanna. “You have no idea how much that means to me.” 

Chakotay smiled and handed the baby to Tom. 

“Yeah, thanks, Chakotay.” Tom said. 

“What did you do?” Harry asked. 

“It’s a traditional blessing my people give to newborn children. It’s supposed to help them make their own connection with their animal guides.”  
Harry smiled, “If she’s anything like B’Elanna, she’ll need all the help she can get.”

“Hey!” B’Elanna said half heartily, as Tom and Chakotay laughed. 

“Clarify,” Seven said to Harry. 

“I meant that each person’s animal guide helps them through life,” Harry said, “B’Elanna said she tried to kill hers. Isn’t that right, Chakotay?”   
“It seems highly illogical to rely on an underdeveloped species for guidance,” Seven said. 

“It’s more than that, Seven,” Chakotay said, “There’s a spiritual connection that goes beyond, just asking for help. It’s being connected to something other than yourself and the people around you.” 

“The Borg have a similar connection within the collective,” Seven stated. 

“No, Seven, this isn’t anything like the Borg,” Chakotay said. 

“I do no see the relevance in spirituality,” Seven said. 

“This has been a part of my people’s traditions for centuries,” Chakotay stated. He was frustrated with Seven’s seemingly unwillingness to accept his beliefs. 

“Well,” Tom said, providing Chakotay with a much needed distraction from the current topic, “I need a drink, anybody want anything?” 

Harry shook his head, B’Elanna asked Tom to surprise her, and Chakotay said anything would do. 

“I will assist you,” Seven said. 

“Be back in a sec,” Tom said, handing Miral back to B’Elanna. 

Chakotay watched them go before B’Elanna tugged his arm to make him sit across from her at the table.   
“Seven!” She said, whispering. 

Chakotay looked around, he did not want to have this conversation with B’Elanna now, especially in the mess hall surrounded by crewmembers who clearly shared her shock. Harry had the good sense to make himself scarce and Chakotay sat. 

“Look, B’Elanna, I don’t want to talk about it.”

“What were you thinking?” said B'Elanna. 

“B’Elanna,” Chakotay warned. 

“She’s half your age, Chakotay. She’s rigid, rude, and you didn’t even want her on board in the first place!” She said. 

“She’s different now. She’s become a remarkable woman,” Chakotay said. 

“I can’t believe you did this,” said B’Elanna. 

“What? Take a chance at being happy?” Chakotay said. He was hurt that his friend wasn’t wishing him the congratulations that he expected from her.   
“You call this being happy?” B’Elanna waved her free hand toward him.

“What was that exchange about your animal guide. She doesn’t even accept your beliefs.” 

“She’s learning,” Chakotay said. He really wasn’t in the mood in defending his decision to start dating Seven. 

“And what? You’re her teacher? I know you’ve liked blondes Chakotay, but this is ridiculous.”

“What’s ridiculous?” Tom said. Seven and Tom had returned placing the drinks on the table. 

“Being home,” Chakotay said quickly, “and how fast it happened.” 

“Yeah, can you believe it? We woke up this morning the Delta Quadrant and now we’re home! Frankly, I’m okay with it,” he said, smiling as he took a drink of punch. 

“Woo,” he said, “Someone spiked the punch.” 

B’Elanna eyed him suspiciously.

“It wasn’t me…maybe Harry?” He said with a wink. 

Tom controlled the conversation for the next few minutes, wondering what seeing his father, Admiral Owen Paris, would be like. B’Elanna provided her support stating that he wouldn’t be seeing him alone this time. Tom put his arm around her. He smiled down at Miral who looked up into her father’s face. Seven watched the conversation intently. Chakotay could tell she was absorbing every nuance of the situation. He wasn’t paying much attention to the conversation as he finished his drink. 

Several members of the engineering team entered the mess hall and beelined for Tom and B’Elanna. They swarmed around the table, all eager to see her new baby. Seven felt uncomfortable about the close proximity of so many people and Chakotay suggested that they move. They left the group and found Tuvok standing by a viewport. They joined him and Seven seemed much more at ease speaking with the Vulcan. Chakotay found himself wanting to join in on the other conversations. He looked around the mess hall, seeing the different groups interacting. Fitzpatrick was telling a very animated story to Dalby, Chell, and Gerron. Harry was laughing with both Delaney sisters. The mess hall doors opened again and crewman Sandra Peterson entered with Samantha Wildman and Naomi. 

“Michael!” crewman Peterson cried. 

Ensign Mulcahey turned from the group of engineers surrounding B’Elanna just in time to catch crewman Peterson as she threw her arms around his neck. She kissed him and several crewmembers jeered and whistled. Chakotay smiled at the couple. 

“I was unaware the Ensign Mulcahey and crewman Peterson were romantic involved,” Tuvok said.   
“I have worked with Ensign Mulcahey, he is an efficient officer.” Seven stated. 

“Commander, were you aware that the ensign was having an affair with crewman Peterson?” Tuvok stated. 

“An affair?” Chakotay said. “They’re in love, Tuvok. I’d hardly call it an affair.” 

“As you wish, however, since Mr. Mulcahey is an officer, he should be setting a good example for the crew. Involving himself with a subordinate is not the conduct that Captain Janeway would approve of.” 

Wasn’t that the truth? Chakotay thought with regret.

Mulcahey took that moment to dip crewman Peterson back, kissing her deeply, while crewmembers clapped. The Doctor snapped holoimages of the exchange as people laughed. The Doctor motioned for the engineering group to gather around the table as he snapped their holoimage as well; even Vorik seemed pleased to join in. 

“Clearly, the crew doesn’t seem to mind, “ Chakotay said. “We’re home Tuvok, let them celebrate.” 

Tuvok respond with a raised eyebrow.. 

Seven asked Tuvok what his plans were now that he was home. Tuvok explained that his son would be arriving soon to perform the fal-tor-voh. Seven wished him luck and Chakotay excused himself, claiming he needed another drink. He left before either of them were able to respond. He headed toward the galley where the punch was placed on the counter. He poured himself another drink and then froze. 

The Captain was sitting next to Mike Ayala and the members of his security team. The men were entranced by a story their Captain was telling. He couldn’t hear their conversation but Ayala made a joke. Everyone laughed and the Captain smiled and she swatted Ayala’s leg flirtatiously. She took another drink of punch as Ayala leaned in close and whispered something to her. She laughed out loud and Chakotay gripped his glass so hard his knuckles were white. Jealousy rose up inside him quicker than he anticipated. He turned away and headed back to Seven and Tuvok. He caught B’Elanna eye, who seemed to know exactly what he was feeling and he looked away. When he arrived at Seven’s side he tried to focus his attention to Tuvok’s explanation of the Vulcan Science Academy to Seven but his curiosity got the better of him. Chakotay glanced back at the Captain. She was still smiling and drinking punch as various crewmembers walked up to her to shake her hand or share a hug. Billy Telfer and Tal Celes rushed up to her together. Billy started asking a question but Tal jumped in and excitedly finished. The Captain seemed taken aback but then smiled and nodded. Billy and Tal looked thrilled with whatever the Captain had agreed to. 

Mulcahey and Peterson were sharing a private conversation by one of the viewports. Their heads close together, smiling secretively to each other. The Doctor approached Tuvok stating that his son Sek, was now ready to come on board to perform the fal-tor-voh. Giving his holoimager to Chell and telling him to be careful with it, he and Tuvok left the mess hall for the transporter room. 

He was left alone with Seven, who stood next to him watching the crew interact. They observed Chell flit around the room snapping photos more often than the Doctor did. Everyone insisted in getting into a group shot with the Captain. Seven seemed content to stand in silence and Chakotay wasn’t in the mood for much small talk and he watched Kathryn Janeway move from group to group, stopping to pose for photos with Tom, B’Elanna and Miral. She posed for a photo with Harry who put his arm around her shoulder nervously. It pleased Chakotay to see her finally happily interacting with the crew. He silently thanked Tom for spiking the punch; he was sure that was helping the Captain loosen up. Chakotay nursed his drink when the Captain caught his eye. She had a huge smile on her face and Chakotay smiled back. Kathryn’s gaze fell on Seven next to him and she looked away. Chakotay was disappointed that she didn’t approach them, didn’t drag Chell over to take a holoimage. Chakotay stood brooding, sipping his drink, thinking, this wasn’t what he expected out of his homecoming at all. 

Later that evening, Chakotay was walking back to his quarters, after dropping Seven off in the Cargo Bay to regenerate. He had just exited the turbolift and was ready for this night to be over. He wanted all of this to be over. He turned the corner and when he arrived outside his quarters he stopped dead in his tracks. Mike Ayala was hugging the Captain. He smiled as he held her tiny frame in his arms. Chakotay stood rooted to the spot. He stared. The feeling of jealousy that he had quelled in the mess hall came rushing back as he watched them. 

“Good night Captain,” Mike said. 

“Good night, Lieutenant,” the Captain said. Her voice was husky and tired. She turned and entered her quarters. Alone. Relief flooded through Chakotay but when Mike turned to see him standing there, anger rushed up inside him. 

“Commander.” Mike said in hello. He was tipsy, probably had too much punch, Chakotay thought. 

“What was that all about, Mike?” Chakotay said. 

“Just walked her home,” he said. Mike walked toward Chakotay and mumbled as he past him, “Should have been your job.”  
“What was that?” Chakotay said angrily. 

“You heard me,” Mike said, “It should have been your job. You should have walked her home. But you were too busy, weren’t you.” 

Chakotay didn’t have an answer and said nothing. 

Mike nodded and walked toward the turbolift. He stopped and turned around. 

“The crew is pissed you know,” Mike said. 

“Pissed about what?” Chakotay asked. 

“Oh come on. Don’t act like you don’t know, Chakotay,” said Mike, his words slurred. 

Chakotay did know. He could tell the moment he entered the mess hall this evening. 

“Is this about Seven?” Chakotay spat out. 

Mike shook his head, “I can’t believe you, of all people, would hurt the Captain like that.”

Chakotay was flabbergasted. Him? Hurt the Captain? She was the one who pushed him away. Rejected him. Broke his heart, time after time. How dare she feel hurt with his choice to move on. 

“This has nothing to do with the Captain,” 

“Like hell it does. You don’t get it do you,” Mike said. 

“Get what?”

“Forget it,” Mike said, “Have fun with your Borg, Seven of Nine.” 

With that Mike turned around and walked to the turbolift. Chakotay was furious. Mike was one of his oldest friends; he was as close to him as he was to B’Elanna. How could he belittle his relationship like that? Even after Seska, he wasn’t this cruel. Chakotay entered his quarters trying to calm himself down. He kicked a chair in frustration. He found his medicine bundle and sat on the floor of his quarters. He ordered the computer to lower the lighting level and tried to relax. He opened his medicine bundle. He tried to contact his spirit guide but Mike’s words, the jealousy and disappointment he felt all day and Seven’s blatant disdain for his spiritual beliefs prevented him from doing so. After a couple failed attempts he gave up. He wrapped his medicine bundle and decided on a shower instead to help him relax. Hopefully the next day or following week would be enough of a distraction to calm his mind down.


	2. The Debriefings

The first few days of debriefings were long and stressful. Each morning both he and the Captain went over crew evaluations for the past seven years to prepare for each set of debriefings. Crewman Gerron was the last of the former Maquis besides himself and B’Elanna, to go through debriefings. So far, Starfleet had felt that the Maquis actions aboard Voyager was viewed as time served. Chakotay hoped that he would be met with a similar evaluation. He stood outside the hearing room waiting for Gerron to arrive with the Starfleet security detail that escorted each member to the hearing room. Gerron arrived flanked by two burly security officers. Chakotay was proud of the young man. He had come along way from the shy boy who went through Tuvok’s additional training their first year in the Delta Quadrant. 

“Ready?” Chakotay asked. 

Gerron looked down at his boots and Chakotay followed his gaze. Gerron looked up and smiled at Chakotay. 

“Yes, sir,” he said confidently. 

His boots were polished just as Tuvok had instructed him to do seven years ago. Chakotay smiled back and led the young man inside. 

They sat at a table that had been set up in an auditorium style room. The Captain was waiting inside. She looked directly at Gerron and held his shoulders when he stopped in front of her. She nodded at him and he nodded back. Chakotay motioned for Gerron take the seat between him and the Captain and whispered for Gerron to remain standing until told to be seated. Kathryn turned to face the Admirals who were filing in and sitting at another table across from them. Admiral Hayes, who sat in the middle of the table, told them to be seated. Everyone sat and Gerron let out a nervous sigh. The Admirals questioned Gerron about his time aboard Voyager. What his duties were and read sections from his evaluations. Gerron answered politely but Chakotay could tell he was nervous about possibly being punished for his involvement with the Maquis. As if she could read his mind, Admiral Nechayev questioned Gerron about his decision to join the Maquis. Gerron defended his position and Chakotay was impressed with his well thought out response. Chakotay glanced at the Captain but she kept her eyes staring ahead. She had been like that for days. Completely professional and avoided spending more time with him than was necessary. Chakotay was beginning to wonder if Mike was right? After Gerron was released, Chakotay escorted him out of the room.

“What do you think you will do?” Chakotay said. 

“I’m not sure. Admiral Paris’s suggestion of applying for Starfleet Academy was appealing, but Admiral Ross suggested that Bajor was in need of good officers. I may go there. It would be nice to be home,” Gerron said. “I’m touched that the Captain would write such a good recommendation for me.”  
“Of course she would,” Chakotay said. “You’ve come a long way, Gerron, we’re proud of you.”

Gerron seem to stand a little taller and smiled at his first officer. The security guards walked up with Icheb who nodded towards Gerron who left with the security guards to beam back to Voyager. 

Chakotay smiled and nodded to Icheb as the both headed in to the debriefing room. 

The debriefings continued much of the same. Many crewmembers happily accepted promotions and reassignments, taking time to thank the Captain and Commander publicly in front of the panel of Admirals for everything they’ve done. On a few occasions, a crew member's words almost brought the Captain to tears but she would straighten her shoulders and hide her emotions behind her Captain’s mask. Something she had perfected after seven years. After the last debriefing of the crewmen and junior officers, one of which consisted of an adorable five minute interview of Naomi Wildman, Captain’s Assistant, Chakotay was ready to call it a day and have dinner. As Naomi left holding the hand of her mother, Chakotay caught up with the Captain and they walked out towards the transporter room, along with Samantha, Naomi and the two security guards who names he had finally learned as Jones and McCallister. As the debriefings went on, rumors started to spread on where they were being held and by the second to last day, addition Starfleet security personnel were ordered to keep reporters and holophotographers away from the debriefing room. Reporters lined the hallway back to the transporter room, shouting questions as Chakotay and the Captain passed.. Naomi waved and smiled to the cameras but clung to her mother, who hurried them away toward the transporter room. It was a little unnerving. Chakotay never liked the spotlight, which is why for seven years, he avoided Talent Night onboard Voyager like the plague. 

Trying to block out the reporters’ shouts, one of them a rude question speculating about his and the Captain’s relationship and turned to the Captain and said, “I’m glad those are over, it’s just the senior officers now." 

“I’ll be glad when those are over,” Kathryn said. She rubbed her temple. “This last round was rough. I’m disappointed that the Equinox crew members were sentenced to one year at the New Zealand Penal Colony.”

“True, but I think they were touched that you fought for them so hard. Even Noah Lessing.” Chakotay said.   
“I’m surprised he didn’t demand my head,” she said glancing at him. 

“I think we’ve all tried to put that time behind us.” Chakotay said. 

“Have we? Sometimes I don’t know.” Kathryn said. 

They arrived at the transporter room and watched as Naomi and her mother beamed back to Voyager. 

Chakotay and the Captain stepped onto the transporter pad and Chakotay heard Kathryn tell the Starfleet technician to “Energize” and he felt the familiar tingling sensation of the transporter. When they arrived back on Voyager and was greeted by Ensign Kyoto, Chakotay asked if the Captain wanted to join him for dinner. 

“No thank you Commander, I’m very busy.” She said. 

Chakotay had asked her every night after the debriefings and she had given him the same answer every time. She stepped into the turbolift but he didn’t follow. He said goodnight. He caught a glimpse of her crestfallen face as her Captain’s mask shattered when the doors slid shut. He considered asking Seven to join him in the mess hall when he grabbed a quick dinner but she wouldn’t be eating and he didn’t feel like being observed as he ate. In fact, he didn’t feel very hungry after all. He wasn’t sure if he was just tired or if it was the disappointment of his dinner invitation being rejected again, or the look on Kathryn’s face but he had suddenly lost his appetite. He signaled for the lift and waited for it to return before he headed back to his quarters. 

The senior officer’s debriefings were uneventful. B’Elanna’s record was scrutinized, especially her earlier actions as she was still trying to prove herself. Tom’s evaluation and demotion was examined and in the end Chakotay could see the pride on Tom’s father’s face as the panel of Admiral’s offered Tom a promotion to Commander. Chakotay felt that of all people Tom Paris deserved to redeem himself in the eyes of Starfleet. He, like Gerron, had improved upon himself, and really matured into a good man. Much unlike the man he wanted to hit in the face on Voyager’s bridge seven years ago. Tuvok and Harry were offered promotions as well. Tuvok politely refused the offer and stated that he was considering returning to Vulcan. Harry graciously accepted the promotion to Lieutenant Commander and said that he was weighing a few options on reassignment. Chakotay was extremely pleased that Starfleet finally promoted Harry. He was always curious as to why Kathryn had never promoted him aboard Voyager when his merits certainly warranted it. Better late than never, he thought. 

After lunch, Seven was debriefed by the panel of Admirals. The reporters bombarded her with questions on her way in. She had reached out for Chakotay’s arm as a few of them rushed forward and had to be held back by the additional security. They entered the debriefing room and Seven still clung to his arm. Chakotay felt uncomfortable and quickly disengaged himself from her grip. The last thing he wanted was for Kathryn to be shooting daggers at him with her glares of disapproval at this seemingly harmless display of affection. Seven stood behind the seat between him and the Captain.

“Have a seat, Seven,” Chakotay whispered and Seven sat. 

The Admirals question Seven about everything. From her parents journey aboard the USS Raven to her liberation from the collective. Seven answered all their questions efficiently and in her usual amount of detail. Seven said that she was grateful for the help the Captain had given her in find her humanity again and that she was progressing in her self-discovery very well. Chakotay panicked for a second, thinking she would announce to the panel of Admirals that they had started dating but she did not elaborate and Chakotay let out a sigh of relief. To his surprise, Kathryn did so as well. When her debriefing concluded, Chakotay escorted her back to the security guards while the Doctor filed in. He smiled at Seven and Chakotay in the doorway. 

Seven looked back as if deciding what action to take but the Captain’s voice interrupted, “Come in Doctor,” she said. 

The Doctor walked to the table, his mobile emitter reflecting the overhead lighting. Chakotay turned away from Seven and took his seat on the other side of the Doctor. The security guards shut the door and the shouts of the reporters were silenced. 

The Doctor’s debriefing was more complicated than Chakotay imagined it would be. It seemed like the Admiralty were split on how to proceed. Half wanted to simply shut off the Doctor’s program, after all there were newer models of the Emergency Medical Holographic Program available, why keep him running? The Captain objective forcefully, stating that she would do whatever it took to keep the Doctor running and his freedom intact. It wasn’t until Admiral Paris spoke up, reading a message from Dr. Zimmerman that the final decision was made. The Doctor, according to Zimmerman, had grown beyond his original programing, so much so that when he was on Jupiter Station, he noticed in several diagnostics of the Doctor’s program that new subroutines were writing themselves as the Doctor experienced new situations, new subroutines were introduced. In essence, from what Chakotay could understand, was that Dr. Zimmerman had effectively convinced the Admiralty and Starfleet that although the Doctor was programed by humans, was he really so much different than Commander Data? The Admiralty agreed that the Doctor’s actions warrant that his program not to be shut down. They granted him the rights of a free individual and gave him the Starfleet rank of Lieutenant Commander. They assigned him a research lab at Starfleet Medical. It was more than Chakotay thought Starfleet were ever willing to do and he was surprised. He clapped the Doctor on the shoulder and the Captain beamed at him. The Doctor started to express his thanks when Admiral Paris held up his hand. 

“There’s one more thing, Doctor,” he said, “ Dr. Zimmerman has include one more item in his statement.”

The Doctor looked to the Captain who looked just as surprised and confused as he did. 

Admiral Paris continued, “Dr. Zimmerman has stated that if Starfleet decided to grant the rights of individuality as you so rightly deserve, he has issued this request: That you be given a name for the official record. As your creator, or parent, so to speak, Dr. Zimmerman has requested that you accept the name Robert Lewis Zimmerman, after his father, as your official name of record.”

The Doctor looked stunned. A name. It was something Chakotay knew the Doctor struggled with since he was first activated on Voyager. The Captain turned to the Doctor, a radiant smile on her face, and she nodded at him, tears falling down her face.

The Doctor looked to the panels of Admirals and said, “I accept.” 

He beamed at them. He hugged the Captain tightly; who looked surprised again but equally touched. The Doctor turned to Chakotay and shook his hand enthusiastically. Chakotay smiled. The Admirals dismissed the Doctor and Chakotay walked him back to the security guards. He stopped the Doctor and reminded him that the crew was still under orders not to speak to the press and that he should report straight back to Voyager. The Doctor understood and clapped Chakotay on the shoulder as he left. 

“Commander,” Admiral Hayes said, “It’s your turn.” 

Chakotay sighed, mentality trying to prepare himself for the emotional roller coaster he knew this was going to be. He walked back to the table. The Captain remained seated. She didn’t offer him any sign of encouragement. No hands on his shoulders like she did for Gerron, no reassuring smile like she gave Harry or even the polite nod to the Equinox crew. She stared straight again, like she had for the entire week. Chakotay was hurt but determine not to let her indifference toward him jeopardize his future. Chakotay was right. It was an emotional roller coaster. Beginning with a lengthy discussion of his decision to resign from Starfleet and join the Maquis, to his mistake of a relationship with Seska, and the Kazon incidents, leaving Chakotay exhausted. He answered all questions truthfully, as sections of his official log as first officer were read out loud. Then came the incident with the Borg and his disagreement with the Captain. His one of many, the Admirals pointed out. Despite whatever hurt he was feeling toward the Captain now, he defended her. 

He realized as he answered question after question about Species 8472, the Vidiians, and the incident with the Equinox, he would always defend Captain Janeway. His loyalty to her as her first officer would never change. He defended his positions as a simple command disagreement. He could feel the Captain’s gaze slide sideways a few times as if to catch of his expression as he answered questions. He didn’t dare look at her. He wasn’t sure how he should feel. Hearing their journey scrutinized they was didn’t put the emotional toll in perspective but he wasn’t going to admit that to the panel. When they brought up his relationship with the Captain and questioned him about the rumors that were circulating in the press, asking if they had any merit, Chakotay hesitated. He felt the Captain freeze in the seat next to him, her back rigid. She was waiting for his answer. She was holding her breath. Chakotay took a deep breath and said, 

“My relationship with Captain Janeway is the best working relationship I’ve ever had. We developed a strong friendship that was necessary to keep our two crews together.” 

The Admirals seemed satisfied with his answer. He felt Kathryn relax next to him. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her head move slightly toward him but then snap back to the panel. Perhaps there was a chance to salvage their friendship after all. After a few more questions, the Admirals decided that his time spent aboard Voyager in the Delta Quadrant was to be considered time served and like his fellow former Maquis, he would be free to go. Chakotay was offered a promotion to Captain. He was surprised. He hadn’t expected a promotion. He glanced at Kathryn and was pleased to see that she was smiling. She stared happily at her hands on the table but she was smiling. Admiral Hayes said that if he wanted, a position in the Anthropology department at Starfleet Academy might be available. He said a Delta Quadrant Anthropology class would be most interesting. Chakotay smiled, thanked the Admirals and said that he would have to think about the promotion. He was dismissed and Chakotay stood and half expected the Captain to walk him to the door. He hesitation didn’t go unnoticed. 

Admiral Ross spoke up, “Your Captain is up next Commander, you can return to Voyager.”

Chakotay nodded and left the room. Good luck, Kathryn, he said silently. 

When he returned to Voyager, Chakotay stopped by to see Seven in the Cargo Bay and telling her the good news about the pardon and promotion. She had invited him to the holodeck for another picnic but he said he was tired and needed to rest after the long day of debriefings. She accepted his answer without question and returned to her work at the console where she stood. Chakotay left. He was tired but he was more anxious to hear about Kathryn’s debriefings. That is, if she would tell him about it at all. He ordered the computer to notify him when Captain Janeway returned to Voyager. He sat in a chair and started to read, but he wasn’t really focusing on the page. Instead his mind’s eye wandered to Kathryn smiling at his promotion offer, her smile when Dr. Zimmerman named the Doctor, or Harry Kim’s promotion. He stretched out his legs and felt his eyes slip shut. 

He awoke with a jerk when the computer notified him that Captain Janeway was now aboard Voyager but was so tired he fell back asleep almost immediately. The book that was resting in his lap fell to the floor and he looked around startled. Now fully awake, he rubbed his eyes and asked,   
“Computer, what time is it?” 

“The time is 2300 hours,” the computer responded. 

Damn, Chakotay thought. It was too late to ask her about her debriefing. He must have been more tired than he thought; he hadn’t planned on falling asleep in the chair. He stood navigating around several storage boxes of his belongings, he walked toward his bedroom. He stripped out of his uniform and crawled into bed. He told the computer to wake him at 0600 hours and fell back asleep. 

The next morning was hectic. He had slept through the Captain’s ship wide announcement of the next day’s plans. Beginning at 1000 hours, the crew would begin departing from Voyager for the last time, finally being able to be reunited with their loved ones in a special staging area at Starfleet Headquarters. Chakotay guessed it was a large cargo bay of some sort, large enough to hold the waiting loved ones of 146 people. He was glad that he had started packing the night before. Two crewmen arrived to transport his belongings into storage and Chakotay looked around his bare, empty quarters for the last time. The sight made him uneasy. He left and headed to the bridge. On the turbolift ride up he thought in silence. He still hadn’t decided on what he wanted to do now that he was no longer going to be Voyager’s first officer. Chakotay thought about going home, not to Earth but to where he grew up. He always thought that when he returned home he would his home planet with someone special. He hadn’t spoken to Seven about it and part of him was avoiding the conversation. He wasn’t sure why but he was almost positive that Seven would not find a trip to Dorvan V or Trebus as exciting as he would. He wasn’t sure he was ready to share that with her yet. They had only been on a few dinner dates. They had kissed a couple of times, but Dorvan and Trebus were both spiritual places for him and he wasn’t sure if their relationship was at that stage. She still had a lot to learn. Her unwillingness to accept his animal guide or spirituality offended him, although he never told her. 

When Chakotay arrived on the bridge, he automatically looked to the command chairs. The Captain’s was empty. She must be in the ready room or elsewhere on the ship making sure everyone had someone to meet them, or somewhere to go when they had departed. He sat in his chair and glanced at the Captain’s seat. Kathryn had accepted his people’s beliefs in a heartbeat. No questions asked. Well, a few questions. He remembered with a smile. In their first year of their journey, he had told her about how his people talked to animals. She had been fascinated and smiled as she agreed to have him help her contact her own animal guide. He could almost hear her words as she guessed which animal guided him. Yours is a bear. He missed that Kathryn Janeway. 

1000 hours finally arrived and the last of the senior officers filed into the turbolift. They rode in silence to the transporter room. Harry bounded out of the lift obviously eager to greet his mother and father. Tom and B’Elanna exchanged an amused look and Tuvok just raised an eyebrow.   
When Chakotay entered the transporter room, the Captain was already there. She was standing at the transporter controls, obviously allowing everyone a chance for a stressless departure. The Captain transported Tuvok, Tom, B’Elanna, Miral, and Harry to the coordinates of the Welcome Home gathering. He waited for her. 

“You’re next Commander,” she said and nodded to the transporter pad. 

“Let the computer beam us there,” Chakotay said, “Let’s go together.” 

Honestly, he was nervous that she wouldn’t leave at all. After all she had poured her heart and soul into this ship for so long it was as much a part of her as anything else. Kathryn eyed him for a moment but then nodded. She programed the computer and hurried onto the pad. Seconds later, they materialized outside the party; a large room with several tables and chairs with lots of food and drink for everyone. 

“Kathryn!” A female voice shouted. Chakotay turned to see a younger, darker haired version of Kathryn rush forward. It must have been her sister, Phoebe. The family resemblance was there. An older woman joined them and the three of them hugged. Chakotay could see Kathryn sag against the older woman’s shoulder. Her mother, Chakotay concluded. He smiled. He was glad that Kathryn was not pushing her family away.   
He looked briefly before spying the one person he had hoped to see and yet was surprised to see at the same time. 

“Sekaya,” he said with a smile. 

His sister came up to him and embraced him tightly. 

“It’s good to see you big brother,” she said. She looked older than he remembered, just a beautiful as their mother was, with long dark hair and a tattoo to match his. 

“It’s good to see you too,” Chakotay said. “It’s such a relief to be home.”

“I’ll bet,” she said, eyeing him, “Something’s troubling you though.”

“Let’s not talk about that now, I want to hear about you. What’s been going on with you?” Chakotay said. He took her arm looped it with his and they walked to a table to sit. Chakotay listened as his sister talked about the rebuilding efforts on both Dorvan and Trebus. He was pleased that the rebuilding of his home world was progressing. He looked out into the crowd again. Naomi and being hugged by her father, whom she finally met face to face for the first time, Admiral Paris was holding Miral, smiling lovingly at her, as Tom watched proudly, and Seven and Icheb were talking to her Aunt Irene. Chakotay was pleased that Seven was reconnecting with her family and had seemed to take Icheb under her wing. Seven caught his gaze and smiled. Chakotay smiled back and his sister touched his arm. 

“Is she the one you wrote to me about?” Sekaya asked. 

“Yes, that’s Seven,” Chakotay responded. He smiled at his sister but whipped his head around as her heard Kathryn laugh. He would recognize that laugh anywhere. Kathryn was laughing with man Chakotay had never met but knew from a photo that had sat in the Captain’s Ready Room for years, Mark Johnson. Kathryn’s ex-fiancee. Chakotay’s jaw set as he saw Mark touch her arm, smiling at her. 

“That Seven,” Sekaya said, “she’s not the one you want? Is she?” 

Surprised, Chakotay deflected the question, “I’m happy with my relationship with Seven.”

His sister didn’t appear to believe him. 

He was happy the family reunions were going to well. Everyone seemed to have a smile on his or her face. Except Tuvok and his family, who were the picture perfect version of a Vulcan family unit. Tuvok did introduce his first grandchild to the Captain and after knowing the Vulcan for seven years, Chakotay could see the sense of pride that Tuvok suppressed as he stated it was his son’s Sek’s child. Mike Ayala introduced his two sons, both teenagers now, to the Captain, who politely told stories about how Mike was able to get them out of a few scrapes with on away missions. The boys had grown from the last time Chakotay has seen them and looked so much like their father. 

As the party started to wind down, Admiral Paris announced that a Welcome Home Ball will be held that evening at Starfleet Headquarters and that he expected the whole Voyager crew to be there. People cheered and clapped and started to filter away, eager to see old homes, friends, and family.   
“I’m staying in the temporary quarters Starfleet assigned visiting family members, stay with me?” Sekaya said. 

“Alright,” Chakotay said gladly. 

“I know I might be pulling you away…from Seven, but I think I have a right to selfish for a while,” she said. 

“Seven will understand,” Chakotay said and he left the party with her.


	3. Welcome Home Celebration

The ballroom was decorated beyond what Chakotay thought Starfleet would ever do. They had pulled out all the stops. A live band was performing on stage, tables and chairs surrounded a dance floor, and the decorations made it look like the ceiling had thousands of stars. There was even a cake in the shape of Voyager. Chakotay thought it was a little silly but his sister smiled and said, “It’s wonderful,” in a way that reminded him so strongly of Kes that he regretted that Kes couldn’t share in their homecoming celebration. The attire was formal but many of the men still wore their Starfleet dress uniforms. Chakotay was grateful that Starfleet hadn’t ordered the Voyager crew to replicate new uniforms just yet because he hated the new white jacket that Admiral Paris was wearing. 

“There’s B’Elanna,” his sister said and pulled him to the table where B’Elanna was sitting with her newborn baby and husband. Sekaya joined them but was almost pulled away by Mike Ayala to introduce her to several of his Voyager friends. Sekaya had been Mike’s friend too. Chakotay smiled as she shrugged and left. Chakotay rested his hands on the back of a chair and watched as Seven approached them. She had not decided to change her attire and still wore her usual purple jumpsuit. 

“Good evening,” she said as she joined the table. 

“Hi Seven,” Tom said.

B’Elanna glared as she watched Seven loop her arm with Chakotay’s. 

“What?” she said to Tom, who had obviously tried to get her to stop glaring. 

Chakotay felt uncomfortable again. 

“Did you enjoy your reunion with your family?” Seven asked Chakotay. 

“Yes, I haven’t seen my sister in a long time, it’s nice to get to know her again,”

“Is she a member of Starfleet as well?” 

“Uh, no, Seven, she never joined Starfleet,” Chakotay said, he tugged at his ear lobe in embarrassment. 

B’Elanna rolled her eyes, “She’s the spiritual leader of their tribe now,” she said. 

“Intriguing,” Seven said sarcastically. Seven looked out into the room and arched her eyebrow and Billy Telfer’s and Tal Celes’ enthusiastic dancing as they spun around the dance floor laughing. B’Elanna glared at Chakotay as if to say, see what she does to your beliefs. Chakotay shook his head and looked down at his hands, which still rested on the seatback. 

“Oh my God!” said B’Elanna. 

“What?” Tom said, immediately looking toward Miral, thinking something was wrong.

“She looks gorgeous,” B’Elanna said. Following her gaze, Chakotay turned to see the most stunning woman he had ever seen in his life enter the room. His breath caught in his chest as Kathryn Janeway strolled in next to her sister. She wasn’t wearing her uniform, far from it. She was wearing a navy halter-top dress with low neckline and an equally low back. Chakotay realized in that moment just how attracted he was to his former Captain. She was a formidable woman; strong, independent, and powerful but Chakotay forgot at just how small she was. She hid her petite frame under her uniform. Not that her uniform didn’t show off her curves, but that dress...That dress tied a knot in his stomach as he stared at her. He watched as Kathryn’s sister whispered something to her and he could easily see Kathryn mouth the word, stop, but she couldn’t hide the sly smile on her face. His eyes followed her around the room as she greeted her crew. All of which were pleased to see her. 

“Chakotay!” 

Chakotay whipped his head back around to the table.

“What?” he said.

“Do you want anything to drink? Tom’s getting something,” B’Elanna said, a smug look on her face. 

“No, thanks, B’Elanna,” he finally said. He pulled a chair out for Seven and himself and they joined B’Elanna at the table. Chakotay caught himself several times watching the Captain dance with different crew members throughout the evening. Each time B’Elanna rolled her eyes but kept her mouth shut, which he was grateful for. Soon, The Doctor joined their table and offered to relieve B’Elanna of Miral. Gratefully B’Elanna handed her over. The Doctor took his role as godfather to Miral seriously and held her on his lap with such reverence; Chakotay thought that perhaps the Klingon prophecy that Miral was special was true. Miral spit up over the table and the Doctor quickly wiped her mouth with the cloth napkin. 

“Do all new offspring produce such unpleasant liquid in this manner?” Seven asked. 

“Yes,” the Doctor said, “it’s quite common.”

“Oh come on, Seven, you better to get used to it, if you’re with Chakotay, the two of you must have talked about having children.” B’Elanna said. 

Chakotay glared at her. No, they hadn’t talked about it, as B’Elanna knew very well. Seven raised an eyebrow at her comment. 

“I do not wish to procreate,” Seven said bluntly, “Icheb would be far superior to any child. He has the entire knowledge of the Borg, as I do.”

Chakotay felt immediately uncomfortable, not to mention, shocked. He had always wanted children. It was something he had always known.  
He had to leave this conversation. The realization hit him like a blow to the bulkhead. What was he doing? Seven didn’t want to have children. How could he have missed that when he agreed to date her? His sister was right, he wasn’t happy in this relationship with Seven. Chakotay walked away from the table. He needed air. He slipped into a corner where he leaned against the wall. Here he was, again, in another relationship with a woman that could not make him happy. Why did he do this to himself? 

He looked out to the dance floor. Kathryn and her sister were holding hands and spinning. Kathryn was laughing. They looked like two little girls spinning outside and suddenly Chakotay had an image of the two of them doing just that as children in Indiana. Phoebe caught his eye and slowed them down. 

She dragged Kathryn over to him as she walked up to him, she said, “You’re Chakotay, right?” It was in the same demanding tone that her sister used when she wanted an answer. 

“Last time I checked,” he said with a smile. 

“You dance with her,” she said, pushed Kathryn toward him, “I need a break.”

“Phoebe, you can’t force him…” Kathryn started but Phoebe just waved her hand in the same manner as Kathryn always did as she walked away.  
“Well, shall we?” Chakotay said. He offered his arm to her and Kathryn hesitated for the briefest moment before she took his arm and they headed for the dance floor. 

The music changed to a slow tune as soon as the entered the dance floor. Chakotay and Kathryn shared a smile and he held out his hand, sliding the other around her wait. Chakotay couldn’t help but feel the bare skin of her back. It was hot and he couldn’t seem to tear his mind away from that fact. Kathryn slid her hand around his shoulder and took his hand. They started to sway in time to the music. Chakotay moved them around the dancing couples until they reached the middle of the dance floor, where they would be hidden from prying eyes, like B’Elanna or Seven. 

They carefully avoided each other’s eyes looking around the floor when she spoke, “This is a lovely party.”

Relieved that she took the lead in the conversation, Chakotay said, “Yeah, Starfleet pulled the stops out for this one.”  
“Did you see the Voyager cake?” Kathryn asked. 

“I did,” he said and he told her about his sister’s reaction and how it reminded him of Kes. Kathryn sighed at the memory of Kes but said nothing. The conversation died again and they looked out to the surrounding couples. Ensign Mulcahey and crewman Peterson shared a kiss as they slow danced next to them, her arms around his neck. 

“They crew seems to be enjoying themselves,” Kathryn said. 

“Yes, they are,” said Chakotay. 

“They deserve it.”

“So do you.”

She finally looked into his eyes and Chakotay felt his breath catch again at how beautiful she was. The navy blue dress brought out the blue in her eyes. Chakotay couldn’t help it, he rubbed small circles on her back with his thumb. He pulled her closer as he rested their joined hands on his chest.

“Have you decided what you’re going to do after all this?” Kathryn asked. Her face started to flush slightly. 

“No,” he said. He continued making small circles on her back. “My sister told me about the rebuilding efforts on Trebus. I’d like to visit,” Chakotay said.  
“Your sister?” I’d like to meet her,” Kathryn said. 

“I’ll introduce you,” said Chakotay, I’m not sure how long I’ll stay but it would be nice to go on vision quest in the forest where I walked with my father,” 

“You should go,” she said. 

He looked at her. 

“You should,” she repeated. 

Chakotay smiled, his dimples showing. 

“What about you? What will you do?” he asked. 

“They gave me a promotion,” she said. 

“An admiral, congratulations,” said Chakotay. 

“A desk job,” she said, “you know, all my life I’ve wanted to be in space. Exploring. But after the Delta Quadrant and our time on Voyager.” She paused as if choose the right words, “After all that, I feel like I want to planetside now.” 

They had stopped swaying. They hadn’t noticed the music had picked up pace again. They looked at each other. She surprised him. Chakotay would never have imagined that Kathryn Janeway, explorer extraordinaire, would stay in one place. He gazed into her eyes and was suddenly stuck with memories of late night dinners and competitive Velocity matches. He missed her. 

“Kathryn,” Chakotay said. 

She dropped her hands and took a step back. She blushed and said, “I’m sorry, Chakotay, I have to go.”

Chakotay tried to grab her wrist to stop her but she slipped away leaving him alone on the dance floor. He watched her disappear into the crowd. He noticed Seven was trying to catch his eye but he made his way in the opposite direction towards the bar. He ordered a strong drink and leaned against the bar. 

“I met your sister,” a familiar voice said.

Chakotay turned to see Phoebe Janeway standing next to him. 

“The family resemblance is striking, you two could be twins,” she said. 

Chakotay smiled. 

“Well, that and the tattoo gave it away.” Phoebe looked out at the dance floor, “She wore that dress for you, you know,” she said. 

Chakotay coughed, spluttering as he tried to swallow his drink and gasp at the same time. 

“What?”

“Kathryn,” Phoebe said, “she picked out the dress and wore especially for you. I told her to do it. She can be so hung up on rules. Sometimes she just needs a push in the right direction.”

Chakotay stared at Phoebe. Kathryn picked out the dress just to see if he’d liked it? Then why did she rush away from him on the dance floor?  
“Remind me why you two aren’t together?” Phoebe said. 

“It’s…” Chakotay was still at a loss for words. 

“Complicated?” Phoebe suggested. 

“Yeah,” Chakotay sighed.

“Well, I might not know you, Chakotay, but I know my sister, and I can tell you this. She will not make the first move, especially when there are deep feelings involved. It seems kind of contrary to her personality, but she’s always been that way with men. Oh, she can get what she wants but when she truly, deeply cares, she’s always been a little hesitant,” Phoebe eyed him, gauging his response. Chakotay was unsure what to do. 

“Just something to think about,” Phoebe said and she sauntered away. Chakotay watched her go and he swallowed the rest of his drink. He knew one thing. The Janeway women would be the death of him. 

He couldn’t hide from Seven much longer, so he returned to their table. He watched her and realized what kind of a fool he was. He would never be happy with Seven. He wanted Kathryn, that much was clear. It had always been clear. He had just lost sight of it for a while. 

“Seven, may I speak with you?” He asked, indicating the balcony. 

“Very well,” she said and she stood. She took his arm again as they walked outside. 

“Seven we need to talk,” Chakotay said. 

“You stated that inside,” Seven said. 

Chakotay slipped his arm away from his and braced himself against the balcony railing. 

“Seven, I can’t continue our relationship.” He said. 

“Clarify,” said Seven. 

Chakotay sighed. 

“I’ve enjoyed our time together, you are a remarkable woman, but I can’t share your feelings. I’m sorry,” Chakotay said. 

“I do not understand,” Seven said, “Is this because of what Lieutenant Torres said?” 

“What did she say?”

“She saw you and the Captain dancing and stated that you were in love with her, I assured her that she had been mistaken, but she told me to, ‘see for myself’. I observed you dancing with her. Your breathing and heart rate accelerated but you exhibit this behavior whenever you are in proximity of the Captain. I told Lieutenant Torres that she was wrong,” Seven stated plainly. 

“She wasn’t wrong,” Chakotay said softly. 

“Then you do love the Captain,” Seven said. Chakotay could sense the hurt in her voice and felt sorry for the pain that he caused her. 

“Seven, I have been in love with Kathryn Janeway for a long time. Before you even came on board Voyager. When we were in the Delta Quadrant, we couldn’t act on our feelings and I tried to move on. I tried to push my feelings aside to convince myself that I felt things for you that I didn’t. I’m sorry Seven.” 

“You wish to terminate our relationship and establish one with Captain Janeway.” Seven said. 

Chakotay nodded. 

“There’s an old human expression, Seven. The heart wants what the heart wants. I can’t deny my feelings for the Captain and I can’t take the chance that I will never know if a relationship would work between us. Now that we’re home away from Voyager. Away from the burdens of command, I have to try.” 

They stood in silence for a while. 

“I never meant to hurt you Seven, I meant what I said, I did enjoy our time together,” Chakotay said. 

Seven was quiet for a while and Chakotay thought she had simply walked away from him when she finally spoke. 

“Both you and the Captain are very important to me and your happiness is also important,” she said. 

“Thank you Seven,” Chakotay said. 

“Now that we are on Earth, it is logical that I will find another suitable companion.” Seven said. 

“I have no doubt that you will,” Chakotay said. They turned to enter the ballroom together. 

“Good luck Commander,” Seven said. She turned from him and walked away. 

 

Chakotay saw Kathryn walk out of the ballroom entrance and tried to follow her. Only to be stopped by Tuvok who blocked his path. 

“Excuse me, Tuvok” Chakotay said. 

“I can not allow you to pursue the Captain, Commander,” Tuvok said. 

“What? Why?” Chakotay demanded. 

“Your actions of late have severely injured the Captain’s feelings. As her oldest friend, I take it upon myself to prevent such feelings from being hurt again. Despite my routine guidance that emotional suppression would be a far more logical approach, the Captain insists on, needing time.”

“Tuvok, you don’t understand,” Chakotay said. 

“On the contrary, I understand very well,” Tuvok said. 

“Oh?”

“You forget Commander, that I have mind melded with both you and the Captain. In those instances, we shared each other’s thoughts. I am aware of your feelings for one another. I have been Kathryn Janeway’s friend for over twenty years. She has never expressed such intense feelings for another individual. Your relationship with Seven of Nine has injured the Captain deeply, and as her friend, I must caution you that I will be prepared to use force to prevent you from following the Captain.”

Chakotay admired Tuvok for his loyalty to Captain Janeway but he needed to see her. 

“Tuvok, you don’t understand. I ended my relationship with Seven. I need to speak to Kathryn. I have to talk to her. I need to set things rights. Please, just tell me where she went,” Chakotay said. 

Tuvok studied him for a moment the said, “Very well. The Captain was granted, one last night aboard Voyager, to ‘say goodbye’. She said she was tired and decided to return to the ship.” 

Of course, she would. Chakotay thought. She would need to say goodbye. 

Tuvok continued, “I will never understand the human need to establish emotional attachments to inanimate objects.”  
Chakotay smiled. He clapped Tuvok on the shoulder and simply said, “Thank you, Tuvok.” 

Sekaya stopped him at the ballroom entrance, “Where are you going?” 

“Back to Voyager,” Chakotay said. 

“Why?”

“Kathryn went back to there. I have to go,” he said. 

Sekaya studied his face for a moment, then smiled. She leaned to kiss him on the cheek. 

“Contact me later. I’m staying with our cousin in Ohio after tonight,” she said. 

“I will,” said Chakotay.

Chakotay stepped around his sister and without a look back into the ballroom, rushed from the room. Everyone else could celebrate. Right now, he needed to put to rest the uncertainty between him and Kathryn. He would march into her quarters and tell her how he felt. All of it. Everything she put him through during their journey. He had to make the first move. Even after years of waiting, of getting his heart broken over and over, he couldn’t stop his desire for her. It was infuriating and intoxicating at the same time. Now that they were home, the chance was there and he wasn’t going to let it go. He wasn’t going to live his life wondering, “what if.” His father has said that he would be a contrary. Any other self-respecting man would have given up, moved on, but he wouldn’t. He simply could not give up. As long as she lived, his heart would be hers. Now he had to make her see. 

After much pleading, the transporter technician reluctantly agreed to beam Chakotay to Voyager. Chakotay was sure the Captain said she did not want to be disturbed and to not let anyone beam on board. He didn’t care. When Chakotay materialized on board Voyager it was eerily quiet. He wasn’t used to being on board with no crew. The times that he was weren’t pleasant memories. He made his way to Deck 3 and soon found himself outside Kathryn’s quarters. He took a deep breath and rang the chime. He waited but her customary, “Come in” never came. He rang again. He rang a third time and was just about the enter his access codes and the door swished open. She was still wearing the navy blue dress and she was staring daggers at him. 

“It’s late, Commander,” she said flatly. He could hear the annoyance in her voice. 

Chakotay rudely pushed past her and into her quarters. They were just as empty as his except for a large duffel bag sitting on her desk. He turned to look at her. She was furious. She didn’t like his barging into her quarters but he wasn’t going to let her tell him to leave and close the door in his face.

“We need to talk,” he said. 

“And this couldn’t wait until the morning?” she said. She allowed the door to close but she hadn’t moved very far into the room. 

“No,” Chakotay said. 

“No?” she said, her eyebrow raised. He moved closed to him and Chakotay could start to see the fight rise in her. This was going to be ugly but if that’s what it took to have this conversation then so be it. 

“That’s right,” he said. 

“I’ve had a long day Commander, let’s continue this discussion at a later time,” Kathryn said. 

“Why, so you can avoid it” he said, “Again.” 

“I’m not avoiding anything,” She shot back. 

“You avoided me for the past year,” he spat back. 

“I’m sorry you feel that way, Commander,” she said, “Now, I’m tired, I don’t…”

He cut her off, “There you go again,” he said. 

She turns her back to him, “You’re dismissed, Commander.” 

“Dammit Kathryn,” he said. Chakotay ripped off his rank bar and tossed it toward her dining table. It hit the edge with a clang and bounced off. “Stop playing this game. Just tell me what you want from me.”

“I want to get some rest,” she said, her back still to him. 

“We’re talking about us now, because I don’t think you’ll allow any other chance,” Chakotay said. 

“How’s Seven?” she said. Chakotay could her the venom in her voice. She tried to hide it but was unsuccessful. He was stunned. There was silence for a few seconds. She didn’t turn to demand a reply. She didn’t move at all. 

“That’s it, isn’t it? Why you’re so mad. Why you left so abruptly tonight. My decision to date Seven.” 

“You’re free to do whatever you want,” she said. 

“But that’s why you’re mad,” Chakotay said. He was pressing her, he knew that. He would much rather have her explode at him than to have her ignore him. He had enough of that for the past year. 

She didn’t answer, so he continued “I don’t understand you Kathryn,” he said, “You can flirt, you can touch me and drive me crazy wanting you; clinging to hope that someday you’ll come to me and ask for more, only to have you push me away. And now, you’re angry that I’ve moved on. Was that your game all along? String me along so the Maquis would fall in line?”

He was frustrated now. This conversation was not going as he had hoped. He thought she would be more vocal or at the very least a participant in the conversation. 

“Why can’t you tell me how you feel?” He ran a hand through his hair, “Dammit Kathryn,” he said again. He fell silent. He tried to gather his thoughts, what could he say to get through to her? He thought maybe he would have to grab her and force her to turn around and look at him, when she spoke. 

“The admiral told me about you and Seven. I wish you both a very happy future,” she said. He could tell she didn’t mean it. Her voice wasn’t sincere. It was cold and indifferent…hurt. She finally turned and he could see her jaw was clenched as she glared at him.

“You kept pushing me away, Chakotay said, “you’re damned defined parameters.” 

Her eyes flashed when he mentioned that but Chakotay pressed on before she could interject.

“I respected your decision but you broke me heart over and over. I was lonely and you certainly weren’t going to let me in. Instead you found others. I’m not the only one guilty of hurting someone. So you can drop the scorned lover routine.”

He walked toward her. Her back was to the bulkhead next to the window.  
“How dare you,” she said, “protocol…”

He ignored her, “I don’t care about your protocols,” he said, his voice was now hard and he found that all the anger, regret, and pain he felt over their seven year journey made it difficult to keep this conversation under control. 

“I was jealous,” Chakotay admitted, “I hated your fiancé Mark, a man I had never met. I hated Jaffen too but I don’t hold that against you, despite how much it hurt. And that bastard Kashyk…”

She step up to him and looked him right in the eye. Déjà vu hit him strongly as he was reminded of a moment seven years ago when she did the same thing.

“That was different,” she started. 

“I don’t care,” Chakotay said. He was nearly shouting now. He stepped closer and she stepped back. They were so close to the bulkhead, he could reach out and touch it, trapping her there. The thought appealed to him.

“I was jealous of the attention you showed him. I was jealous of Mike Ayala, a man I’ve known longer than we were aboard Voyager. I wanted to hit him and all he did was walk you home after Chell’s party. And that damn hologram in Fair Haven.”

She glared at him. 

“You encouraged me to spend time there,” she said. He could tell she wasn’t going to take the blame for that but he continued on. 

“A mistake,” he said simply. 

They were so close now. Both of them were breathing hard, their anger pushing them forward. 

“What about you?” she said. She glared at him, looking deeply into his eyes. 

He didn’t need to be reminded at his failed relationship attempts. 

“I don’t regret my choices,” he said. 

She seemed more hurt by this but he didn’t want to let her off the hook. He knows what she wants to ask but her pride was preventing her. 

“I don’t regret dating Seven,” he said. He caught the flash of hurt in her eyes and slight tremble of her lips. 

“I was lonely and you were so distant. She offered and I was flattered. Someone was interested in me,” he said. She looked away and Chakotay kept going. It needed to be said.

“I felt wanted. Useful. Desirable. She’s a lovely woman,” he said. He could see a tears escape her eye and fall down her cheek. He reached forward and wiped it away with his thumb. He moved closer, his body as close as he could be without touching her. Neither of them moved and he dropped his hand.

“I ended it with her,” he said. 

“I’m sorry to hear that,” she whispered. 

“Are you?”

“Of course. You deserve to be happy,” she said. She didn’t meet his eyes but she looked back in his direction and stared at his chest. 

“I’m not happy,” Chakotay said, “I realized tonight that I couldn’t be happy with Seven. I couldn’t be with anyone because I made a promise to you. And I failed in that promise.”

She looked into his eyes. They were guarded, as if unsure that what she was hearing was real. She understood the meaning. 

“We said a lot of things on New Earth,” she said. 

It was the first time either of them had mentioned their time there for years. 

“New Earth was paradise,” he said. 

She looked at him and the memory of his speech, pledging his devotion to her seemed to draw them closer to each other.  
“I tried to move on. I really did but you always pull me back. I’ll always be in orbit of you. I don’t want anyone else. My soul aches to be with yours. I will always be your angry warrior,” Chakotay said.

He saw the tears in her eyes. 

“I meant what I said,” Kathryn whispered. It’s so quiet Chakotay leans in closer to hear it, as if she was afraid to speak the words aloud.  
“I can’t image a day without you.” 

He doesn’t need to say anything more. He moved in to kiss her. Slowly, he inclined his head towards hers. She put her hands on his chest and breathed his name. 

“Don’t,” he said, “Just don’t.”

When their lips touched she said, “I love you.”

His control shattered and he crushed her mouth under his. He backed her up against the bulkhead and pressed his body to hers. She clung to his uniform as she moaned into this mouth. His hands were everywhere. He had to feel every inch just to convince himself that she was real. That he really was here and that this was happening. Her hands let go of his uniform and moved to his hair. She ran her hands through it and Chakotay groaned at the sensation. They continue their passionate kisses and Chakotay ground his hips into hers. She gasped and he took full advantage. He plunged his tongue into her mouth. He was holding her so close, he could feel his control slipping away. She slid her hands down to his chest and fumbled with the fastening of his uniform jacket. He had to let go of her as she ripped the jacket off of him. She didn’t hesitate or wait when she reached his undershirt and pulled that over his head. He moaned when her hand spread over the bare skin of his chest. His hands started to unzip her dress. He let the dress fall and she stood before him in her underwear. She blushed but didn’t seem embarrassed at all. He stared at her before dropping to his knees. He kissed her stomach and her hip before sliding her underwear off. He kissed her stomach intending on moving lower as he longed to do but she tugged his hair and he slowly kissed his way up her body. When he stood again, she was leaning against the bulkhead, her face flushed. She panted and she grabbed his face to kiss him. Her hands slid down his chest again. A sensation that he will never tire of nor forget. Her hands stopped at the waistband of his pants. She tugged the zipper down and reached inside. Chakotay slammed a hand against the bulkhead near her head as she stroked him. He groaned and ground his hips into her hand. 

“Hurry,” she said. 

Chakotay moved his hands to her hips as she pulled him out of his underwear. He gripped the backs of her thighs and lifted her up. He pressed her against the bulkhead and she wrapped her legs around his waist. She kissed his neck as she braced some of her weight on her arms, which snaked around to rest on his shoulders. She turned her head and kissed him. He groaned again and thrust his hips into hers, sliding into her. She cried out and he froze. 

“Oh, fuck,” he said through gritted teeth. 

He couldn’t stop the low moan that escaped his throat. She was so hot and tight. This wasn’t going to last long. She started to thrust her hips against him and Chakotay started to thrust into her. Moving slowly at first, but her pant of his name made him lose the tiny shred of control he had left. She dug her nails into his neck and shoulder as he sped up. He started to pound into her. She tossed her head back and forth, which Chakotay took to mean that she was close. He held tightly to the back of her thigh with one hand and braced himself against the bulkhead with the other. He thrust into her hard several times. She gasped and screamed his name as she contracted around him. Chakotay groaned and thrust into her as hard and fast as he could until he felt his body tense and he emptied his seed into her. He growled her name as his hips jerked into her. She clung to him as they both panted. When Chakotay felt he couldn’t hold them up anymore, they slid down the bulkhead. She straddled him as he kneeled on the floor. She buried her face in his neck and they held each other in a post orgasm haze. 

Eventually, Kathryn stood and removed her bra, dropping it to the floor to join her dress. They must have been some sight, Chakotay thought. They had been so impatient; he hadn’t even removed his pants. His legs shook slightly as he stood. She walked up to him and smirked. He gave her a sheepish grin. Her hands went to his pants and she lowered them. As she was doing so he toed off his boots. He pulled his socks and Starfleet issue boxer briefs off and he was as naked as she was. They stared at each other for quite some time. Admiring each other’s naked bodies. She held out her hand and he took it. Without looking back she lead him to her bedroom. Chakotay smiled as they entered her bedroom. She slid onto the bed and pulled him on top of her. Giving him a radiant smile before kissing him. Maybe, if there was time, they would talk about what tomorrow would bring, but now, he was content on making up for lost time.


	4. A Final Goodbye

The next morning, Chakotay woke before Kathryn. It was early, he still felt tired from the night before. They didn’t get much sleep, not that he minded. Being with Kathryn had been the moist meaningful and fulfilling experience of his life. He sat up in bed and watched her sleep. She was on her stomach, facing away from him. The memories of last night rushed back to him as his eyes scanned the expanse of her back. It was certainly a workout. He couldn’t remember the last time he had that much sex in one night. His lower back ached a little and his shoulders and neck stung slightly from where her nails had dug into his skin. He didn’t care. It was the best sex of his life. Maybe it was because of the strong emotions he felt or because they simply were compatible in ways only the Spirits understood. One thing was for sure; he was never going to forget that night. He got up and found his boxer briefs in the other room and pulled them on. He replicated two coffees and a light breakfast and carried it on a tray to the bedroom. He placed the tray on a bedside table before crawling back onto the bed to wake her. He ran his hand down Kathryn’s back and kissed her between her shoulder blades. She stirred and rolled over to see him. She smiled at him sleepily. 

“Good morning,” he said. 

She blushed slightly and Chakotay guessed that she was remembering last night’s activities too. 

“Good morning,” she said. Her hand rested lightly on her forehead as if she thought she should straighten her hair but stopped before completing the act. 

Chakotay reached behind him and brought the breakfast tray to the bed. 

“Aw,” she said. She wrapped the bed sheet around her tightly and reached for her mug of coffee. Inhaling deeply, she grinned at Chakotay before taking her first sip. Chakotay found her love affair with coffee delightfully amusing and smiled as he drank some of his own. They were silent for quite some time as they finished breakfast. 

“Admiral Hayes is going to take command at 1300 hours today,” she said. 

Chakotay nodded. 

“How do you feel about that?” he asked. 

“I’m not sure,” said Kathryn. She stared into her coffee mug, pondering her answer, “Relieved? A little sad.” 

Chakotay smiled, “Of course, Voyager has been our home for seven years. It’s a part of us.” 

She nodded but said nothing more. With their breakfast finished, he said, “Well, we better get ready.”

She looked at him as if she was surprised at his eagerness to leave Voyager. She nodded sadly and got out of bed. She headed to the bedroom, glancing over her shoulder at him. Chakotay followed understanding their years of unspoken communication. He stripped his boxers off as they stepped into the shower. 

It was the hottest, most erotic shower he had ever taken. Their shower took considerably longer than he was sure she was used to. He kept distracting her until, after an intense orgasm, they finally allowed the sonic shower to lift away the sweat they generated. Wrapping themselves up in towels Kathryn began to fix her hair. Chakotay left the bathroom to replicate a fresh duty uniform. Forever Kathryn Janeway’s first officer and attempting to anticipate her every need, he started to formulate a plan to make saying goodbye to her beloved ship a little easier. 

He replicated a new uniform from the ship’s files and found his rank bar by the table where he threw them last night. After dressing, Chakotay cleaned up. He didn’t care that the morning’s usual stubble grew on his face. He simply brushed his hair so it lay neatly away from his forehead. He decided to keep his dress uniform instead of recycling it. Maybe he was getting sentimental in his old age. He packed it on top of her dress and shoes in Kathryn’s Starfleet issue duffel bag that sat on her desk. He made her bed, replicating fresh sheets, just in case Admiral Hayes gave a surprise inspection. He caught a glimpse of Kathryn as he recycled their breakfast tray. She dug through the duffel bag for her uniform. She paused as she held his dress uniform. She smiled as if seeing his uniform alongside her belongings seemed appropriate. Kathryn placed his uniform back in her bag and zipped it up. She disappeared into the bathroom again and Chakotay knew she wanted to look her best for the change of command ceremony.   
Once they were ready, Chakotay reached for her bag. 

“I got it,” she said. 

“I know, but I have a better idea,” Chakotay said. He grabbed her hand and led her to the door. 

“Let’s say goodbye to the ship, deck by deck.” 

He could tell she was touched and he’s glad. In all honesty, he needed to say goodbye as much as she did. This ship had saved his life along with the life of his Maquis crew and for that he was forever grateful. She paused at the door and looked around her quarters on last time. Her eyes lingered for a second on the bulkhead where they had sex the night before and her breath hitched. Chakotay smiled smugly to himself. He squeezed her hand and she turned to look at him. She took a deep breath and allowed him to lead her out the door and into the turbolift. 

“Deck 15” he said as the lift doors closed. 

They worked their way up, deck by deck. Visiting different areas of the ship. In engineering she got choked up. He pretended not to notice intending on giving her the space she needed but when he heard her sigh, he looked at her. She clung to the railing around the warp core. Chakotay moved forward. He placed his hand on the core and closed his eyes. He felt her do the same. It was the heart of the ship. Kathryn and the crew may have been its soul, but the core was Voyager’s heart. Silently he thanked the ship for bringing them home. When he opened his eyes, he found her looking at him. They stared at each other for a few minutes, then he saw she was ready to move on. 

They visited the shuttle bay and had one last look around the Delta Flyer II. They joked about the Captain Proton inspired controls. She stood behind the pilot’s seat and said, “It really is an impressive design.”

Her comment surprised Chakotay. She had never flat out said that before and he made a mental note to tell Tom Paris the next time he saw him. As they left, she reached for his hand. 

She laughed and said, “You know, I really hoped we’d win that race Tom and Harry entered.” 

They continued laughing until they entered the turbolift. They stopped in sickbay and astrometics, which Chakotay was nervous about. Her hurt feelings over Seven were still raw. She didn’t mention Seven and he didn’t bring her up. 

Instead Kathryn said, “Can you believe Harry designed it?” 

“He’s come a long way,” Chakotay said. 

Their stay in astrometics wasn’t long and they ended up in the mess hall next. They spent time reminiscing about Neelix and how he turned her private dining room into his galley. 

“Something, I was very grateful for,” she told Chakotay.

“I never knew that,” he said. 

“It forced me to interact with the crew more instead of hide away. I think it helped us on our journey,” she said. 

“It definitely did,” Chakotay said with a smile. 

Hand in hand they left to ride the turbolift to the bridge. When the lift doors opened it felt strange. This would be the last time he would step onto this bridge. She dropped his hand and he missed it immediately. He watched her walk toward Tuvok’s station as they stepped out of the lift. She ran her hand over the smooth surface of the console. Chakotay went to his command chair. He set Kathryn’s duffel bag down next to his chair and he sat down. He waited and watched her move from station to station. Ever the tactile person, she felt each station, as if that touch would connect her to each member of the crew that worked there. She made her way to her own chair and sat next to him. She leaned in close to him. It was a gesture that she had done countless times. He leaned in too and after a moment’s hesitation, leaned across the command console between them and kissed her.   
That was what should have happened the moment they burst through the Borg ship and the transwarp hub. He didn’t know how long the kiss lasted by when they broke apart they both grinned. 

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that here,” Chakotay said. 

“Probably as long as I have,” she said. 

She stood and he copied her. 

“I want to see my ready room one more time. I’ll only be minute,” she said. 

Chakotay nodded and watched her go. This time there was no regret or sadness and he watched her descend down the step into her sanctuary. Alone, he looked around the bridge. He tried to commit as much as he could to memory. He didn’t want to forget his time on board. Voyager’s commissioning plaque caught his eye and he walked over to it. He remembered when it had fallen during their battle with the Equinox. A sudden rebellious urge coursed through him. Chakotay found a repair kit and using the tools inside, he removed the plaque from the bulkhead. He replaced the tools and kit as Kathryn joined him on the bridge. 

“What are you doing?” she asked. 

He turned to her, holding the plaque. She looked confused as she watched him walk toward her. 

“This belongs to us,” Chakotay said. 

He unzipped the duffel and hid the plaque between their clothes. 

“Admiral Hayes will notice it’s gone,” she said half heartedly. 

“He can replicate a new one,” Chakotay said. He lifted the duffel bag and slung it over a shoulder. He headed toward the turbolift and she followed him.

“You’re such a rebel,” she said flirtatiously. 

They laughed as they entered the lift. Their laughter died soon after as she called out for the transporter room and the lift descended. She grabbed his hand and held tightly. 

Outside the transporter room Chakotay paused and looked at Kathryn. She freed her hand from his and wiped her face of tears. He hadn’t noticed she had been crying. He put a hand on her shoulder and she straighten up. 

“Ready?” he said. 

“No,” she responded but charged through the transporter room door. 

She moved to the controls as he followed her inside. Chakotay set the bag down on the floor. 

“Hey,” she said and Chakotay turned to look at her. She stood above him on the elevated control platform. She placed a hand on his cheek and said,   
“Thank you.”

Chakotay flashed a dimpled grin at her and she smiled back. She worked the transporter room controls and hailed Utopia Planetia. She beamed Admiral Hayes and his team of technicians on board. 

“Captain, had plenty of time to say goodbye?” Admiral Hayes said to Kathryn. If he was surprised by Chakotay’s prescene he didn’t let on.

“I don’t think I’ll ever really be able to say goodbye, sir,” Kathryn said. She moved from behind the control panel to stand next to Chakotay. 

Admiral Hayes eyed them both and finally asked. 

“Are you ready to do this? Shall we go to the bridge?”

“No, let’s just do this here,” Kathryn said. Chakotay could tell she was anxious to get this over with.   
“Very well,” Admiral Hayes said. 

Chakotay moved closer beside her, his shoulder touching hers. He wanted to show her support but wasn’t sure if she would be comfortable flaunting their newly formed relationship in front of the Admiral. Kathryn stood a little straighter. 

Chakotay could feel her take a deep breath and in her strong command voice she gave her final order as Voyager’s Captain, “Computer, transfer all command codes to Admiral Hayes, voice authorization Janeway Lambada 4-2.”

Her voiced never faltered and Chakotay was amazed by her strength. He heard the computer respond. 

“Acknowledged. USS Voyager now under the command of Admiral Jeremiah Hayes.”

Admiral Hayes smiled sadly at Kathryn. 

“I’ll take good care of her,” he said to the Captain. 

“See that you do, sir,” she said. 

Hayes looked to the transporter pad and then back at them. 

“Do you know where you want to go?” he asked. 

Kathryn looked to Chakotay briefly and said, “Bloomington, Indiana.”

Chakotay smiled as he heard one of Admiral Hayes order one of the technicians to man the transporter controls. Chakotay picked up Kathryn’s bag and followed the Captain onto the transporter pad. They stepped onto their spots and Kathryn nodded.

Admiral Hayes gave the order to “Energize” and Captain and first officer left Voyager for the final time.


	5. Earth

When they materialized at the transporter station in Bloomington, Kathryn looped her arm with Chakotay’s. She held tightly and Chakotay felt that maybe she needed extra support to stay upright. The young Starfleet technician stared at them. Chakotay would never get used to the stares, whispers, or the excited pointing he and the rest of the Voyager crew now received. The hero worship and attention made him uncomfortable. Kathryn smiled at the technician as they passed. The technician’s excitement didn’t phase her one bit. It must come with commanding a starship, Chakotay thought, the ease of being in the spotlight. 

“My family home isn’t too far outside Bloomington. It’s a trek but not too bad, if you don’t mind walking,” she said. 

“I don’t mind the exercise,” Chakotay said. 

They set off away from the city. 

“You know where you’re going right?” Chakotay teased. 

She shot him a feigned look of annoyance. 

“It’s just, I’m not sure your dress and heels will help much if we get lost,” he said. 

“Of course, I know,” she said, “Just follow your captain.”

“With pleasure,” Chakotay smiled. 

She laughed and slid her hand down his arm to grasp his hand. It took them two hours to reach her family home. It was larger than Chakotay had expected but then again, she never really described her home to him. 

“I think my sister, Phoebe, is staying with my mother for a while. Looks like you’ll be outnumbered,” she said slyly. 

“Me against three Janeway women? On second thought, I’ve changed my mind,” he joked. 

She laughed again and playfully swatted his arm. They continued to laugh as they approached the house. Her mother must have been waiting by a window because before they could reach the front door it flew open to reveal Gretchen Janeway. 

“Katie!” she said. 

“Mom,” Kathryn smiled. 

Gretchen held out her arms and Kathryn stepped into them allowing her mother to hug her. The sight warmed Chakotay’s heart. 

“Is it official? Did you turn command over to that windbag, Hayes?”

Kathryn nodded as she pulled back to look at her mother. Gretchen didn’t say anything more but held Kathryn’s face in her hands for a few seconds. She looked past Kathryn and saw Chakotay. 

“You must be Chakotay,” Gretchen said, “Kathryn’s told me a lot about you in her letters. I’m sorry we didn’t get a chance to meet earlier.” 

Chakotay noticed that Kathryn didn’t quite meet his eyes after hearing her mother’s statement. Chakotay made a mental note to tease Kathryn about what she wrote about him. Hopefully, all good things. 

Gretchen held out her hand to Chakotay and he shook it. 

“Here’s here to stay, Mom,” Kathryn said. Chakotay caught the blush that quickly washed over Kathryn’s face. 

“Is he?” Gretchen said looking to her daughter. Chakotay felt that there was more behind the statement that either of them were letting on. 

“Come in,” she said to both of them. 

She ushered them inside and Chakotay felt how cozy the home was. Kathryn had mentioned her parents wanted to stay connected to their pioneer roots and their home reflected that. 

“I’ll take that dear,” Gretchen said, She tugged the strap of Kathryn’s duffel bag off Chakotay’s shoulder. 

“Katie, I’ll put this in your room with all those boxes you have delivered,” Kathryn’s mother said as she walked up the stairs. 

“I wasn’t sure what I was going to do, so I had Starfleet deliver the contents of my quarters here. I think my mother cleared out my apartment with Mark when she heard the ship was lost. She’s not one to hold on to false hope, she would have moved on…” Kathryn trailed off. 

Chakotay could hear the faint sadness in her voice. 

“Everything I own is in Starfleet storage,” Chakotay said, “I never had much to begin with. They assigned me temporary quarters but I haven’t been there yet.” 

“Temporary quarters are so bland,” she said absentmindedly. 

“They’re very Starfleet,” Chakotay agreed. 

She stood in the middle of her mother’s living room when she looked at him. 

“Chakotay,” she started. 

“Well,” Gretchen said, as she entered the living room, “Phoebe should be back soon, she was visiting an old friend for breakfast. You too must be hungry. I’ll make lunch.”

“Need any help?” Chakotay asked. 

“You cook?” Gretchen asked, delighted. 

“I’ve made my fair share of meals,” Chakotay said. 

“They were always delicious,” Kathryn said. 

“Oh, Katie, he’s a keeper,” Gretchen said as Chakotay followed her into the kitchen. 

“Mother,” Kathryn groaned and Chakotay chuckled. 

Kathryn sat at the kitchen table as Chakotay helped Gretchen make lunch. He could feel Kathryn’s eyes on him. He thoroughly enjoyed himself. Working with Gretchen Janeway was like working with Kathryn. Gretchen was passionate, straightforward, and caring in everything she did. Chakotay could see where Kathryn got a lot of her spunk. Gretchen told stories about Kathryn’s childhood and how much she resisted learning about her roots. Kathryn interjected occasionally firmly disputing some of her mother’s claims or defending her younger self. Chakotay said that she seemed to have inherited a green thumb because the Talaxian tomatoes she grew turned out really well. Kathryn wondered out loud how the tomatoes fared all these years when there was a shout from the front door. 

“Is anyone home?” Phoebe Janeway called from the front of the house.

“We’re in here,” Gretchen called back. 

“We?” Phoebe called. When she entered the kitchen she saw her sister and immediately hugged her. 

“Katie, you wouldn’t believe who I saw this morning. Jason Hunter, remember him? He’s single,” she said the she noticed Chakotay over Kathryn’s shoulder. 

“I see you already found a man,” Phoebe said. She moved away from her sister and approached Chakotay as he set a bowl of salad on the kitchen table. Phoebe hugged Chakotay, smiling. 

“Hello again,” she said. 

“Phoebe,” both Kathryn and Gretchen said at the same time. 

“What?” she said as she pulled away from Chakotay, “I’m not going to steal him away. Like I could anyway, he’s completely smitten,” she said with a laugh. 

Kathryn blushed again and Phoebe plopped down in a seat at the kitchen table. 

“I’m starving,” she said. 

Lunch was pleasant and Chakotay found himself being grilled by Phoebe on and off about his time on Voyager, what Kathryn was really like aboard ship, his hobbies, and his poor decision to date Seven. 

Chakotay was embarrassed and noticed that Kathryn looked quite uncomfortable as well. 

“Let’s just say, I came to my senses in the end,” Chakotay said. 

“Damn straight,” said Phoebe as she waved a stalk of celery at him. 

Gretchen swiftly switched the subject to Chakotay’s sister and how they had met several times when the families of those aboard Voyager got together. Chakotay was pleased that Gretchen found his sister to be an interesting person. Their conversation reminded him that he promised to contact Sekaya. Kathryn showed him the comm unit in the study. She placed a hand on his arm. 

“I’m sorry about Phoebe,” she said.

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. Chakotay winked at her and reassured, Kathryn left for the kitchen. 

Chakotay contacted his sister as his cousin’s house in Ohio. She seemed pleased that he established a relationship with Kathryn and noted that he looked more at peace. Sekaya said that she would be leaving for Dorvan soon and asked if he would be joining her. She clearly wanted him to go but Chakotay wasn’t sure he wanted to leave Kathryn so soon after confessing their feelings for one another. There was still so much they needed to talk about.  
“Why don’t you bring her along?” Sekaya asked. 

“She did express an interest in seeing Dorvan,” Chakotay said, more to himself than to his sister. 

“I’ll ask her but I’m not sure she’ll want to leave her mother so soon,” he said. 

“Ask and contact me later. We’ll be out this afternoon but I’ll be up late,” Sekaya said. 

“I’ll talk to you soon,” Chakotay said and signed off. 

Now he would have to figure out how to ask Kathryn. He was torn between wanting to go home and spending as much time with Kathryn as he could. Starfleet only gave them six weeks leave before they started their new assignments. Chakotay still hadn’t made a final decision about Starfleet’s offer to teach at the Academy. He wanted to remain near Kathryn, no matter what, but he wasn’t going to ask her to give up her career for him. They would have to talk. 

The rest of the day went by quickly. Chakotay was surprised at how at ease he was with Kathryn’s family. They accepted him quickly and seemed genuinely interested in his people and culture. Which was something that relieved him greatly. After dinner, they all sat around the living room, telling stories of when Kathryn was younger and asking Chakotay about his life on Dorvan. Their conversation took them late into the night and eventually Gretchen and Phoebe both decided they would go to bed. When they left, Kathryn and Chakotay sat alone on the couch. 

“My sister asked me to go to Dorvan for a while,” Chakotay said after a long moment of silence. 

“Oh?” Kathryn said. 

“I told her I’d tell her my decision tonight,” he said. He was suddenly nervous, “I know you just got home, and you haven’t seen your mother in a long time, but…”

“But…” Kathryn said, encouraging him to continue. 

“Would you like to come with me? I know we don’t have a lot of leave, well, assuming you and I both accept Starfleet’s offers but I want to show you my home and you mentioned that you’d be interested…” He was rambling now, he knew that but as he spoke the expression on her face didn’t change and it concerned him. She put her fingers to his lips and smiled. 

“I would love to go with you,” she said. She looked so pleased that he had asked. 

“We should talk about what’s going to happen. I don’t know how long this will last,” she said. She waved her hand between them, “but I want to try. Together. I want us to give it our all. 

“Kathryn,” Chakotay said. He took her hands in his and said, “I have every intention to never leave your side again.”

Kathryn smiled. 

“I’ve been considering Starfleet’s offer and even though I know I’ll miss being in space, I mean what I said at the ball, I think staying planet side is just what I need right now,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay nodded. Kathryn eyed him and leaned back on the couch. He could tell that she was unsure about what his answer to Starfleet would be. Chakotay leaned back too and wrapped an arm around her shoulder. 

“What about you?” she asked. 

Chakotay sighed. 

“At first, I wasn’t sure I would accept Starfleet’s offer. A promotion would be nice but I’ve been away from home a long time. Hearing my sister talk about the restoration; it’s intriguing but so is Starfleet’s offer of teaching at the Academy.”

“Well, you don’t have to decide right now. When we visit Dorvan, you may feel that tug that pulled you to Starfleet in the first place, but you may not,” Kathryn said. 

“That’s true,” Chakotay said. He smiled.

“Do I hear an argument for staying on Earth?” He teased. 

“It’s selfish of me but yes. I want you to stay here. But I’d feel terribly guilty for forcing you to choose something you didn’t want,” she said. 

“I want you,” Chakotay said simply, “That’s all I ever wanted for so long.” 

They sat in silence for a while. Kathryn’s hand rested on his thigh. 

“You go tell your sister that I’ll be joining you and I’ll meet you upstairs,” she said. She stood and headed for the stairs. 

Chakotay followed her and stood at the foot of the stairs. She turned after a couple of steps. 

“I’ll leave the bedroom door open. Wouldn’t want you bursting into Phoebe’s room by mistake,” she said. She laughed at her own wit and ascended the stairs. 

Chakotay quickly messaged his sister who was excited that Kathryn had agreed to join them. She gave him the travel plans and signed off. Chakotay quietly hurried up the stairs and found Kathryn’s room. He hovered in the doorway, holding onto the frame. 

Her room was filled with boxes and he watched Kathryn gracefully maneuver around them as she got ready for bed. 

“So this is your room?” he whispered. 

She jumped and whipped around. 

“Yes,” she said. 

He peered into the room, there were high school science awards, tennis trophies and a few photos of a much younger Kathryn at Starfleet Academy.  
“What are you doing?” she asked. 

“This was your bedroom when you were a teenager,” he said. 

“My bedroom until I left for the Academy,” she said. She raised her arms as if to say, ‘here it is’. 

“Although, I don’t remember it being this messy.”

She pulled the sheets back on the bed and looked at him.

“You’re not planning on sleeping in the hall are you?” she said. 

Chakotay smiled, entered the room, and shut the door. He stripped to his boxers as she watched him. He couldn’t help the smile that formed on his lips. He then joined her in bed. Chakotay lay on his side, propping himself up on his elbow. He ran a hand down her side and rested it on her hip. 

“Chakotay, my mother is just down the hall,” she whispered. 

“Kind of naughty isn’t it? Us in your teenage bedroom at home, your mother could barge in any second,” he said. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes, “You really are a rebel.”

He rolled on top of her and started to kiss her neck. When she didn’t protest he started to kiss her body, moving lower and lower.

“We have to be quiet,” she said. Her voice was breathless. 

Chakotay smiled as he pulled the nightgown from her body. They made love and fell asleep in each other’s arms.


	6. A Trip Home

Chakotay and Kathryn decided to spend a week on Dorvan. Chakotay decided to remove his things from storage. Starfleet agreed to transport his belongings to the transporter station in Bloomington. Phoebe volunteered to drive Chakotay in the hovercar she rented to help him move his boxes.   
The two of them returned to Gretchen’s home and carried his boxes to Kathryn’s room. Kathryn and Chakotay promised Gretchen that they would spend the rest of the their leave with her after their return from Dorvan. They packed their bags and Phoebe drove them all to the transporter station. Gretchen said goodbye and told Kathryn to send her a message via subspace when they got there. 

“Have fun,” Phoebe said. She hugged Kathryn goodbye and winked at Chakotay. 

Kathryn and Chakotay watched Gretchen wave as they beamed away. 

They booked passage on a transport shuttle to Deep Space Nine and met up with Chakotay’s sister. Chakotay sat back and enjoyed watching Sekaya get to know Kathryn. He was pleased then the two of them hit it off so well. The trip to Deep Space Nine was uneventful. When they arrived, they found that their transport wasn’t due for another two hours. They agreed to go to Quark’s for a drink. They were able to grab a table and ordered drinks from a surly looking Ferengi waiter. 

“They’ll all staring at us,” Sekaya said. 

“I guess we’re noticeable even without the Starfleet uniforms,” Chakotay said. 

Several Starfleet personnel kept glancing over at their table and a few strained their necks to get a good look at them. 

“I’m not sure I like it,” Sekaya said. 

“Neither do I,” said Chakotay.

Accepting their drinks, Kathryn thanked the waiter as he set their drinks down on the table. 

“I’m sure it will die down after a while,” she said. “You know, the last time I was here, I was waiting to get underway to chase your brother in the Badlands,” Kathryn said to Sekaya. 

“Really?”

“My orders were to capture him,” said Kathryn, “but the universe had other plans.” 

Chakotay gripped Kathryn’s hand on the table. 

“They weren’t specific as to how I should capture you, so I left it up to interpretation,” Kathryn said with a smile. 

They all laughed. As the time of their departure grew nearer, they eventually made their way to the bar’s entrance. A crowd had formed outside Quark’s, as word spread that Captain Janeway and her first officer were aboard the station. They tried to make their way to the docking ring but found it impossible with the crowd pressing in on them. So many people were asking them about Voyager, that station security was called to help make a path off the promenade. Once they entered the corridor for the docking ring, they heard a familiar voice cry out. 

“Captain! Commander!”

They both turned to find Gerron approach them. He had a huge smile on his face. He hugged the captain and shook Chakotay’s hand vigorously.   
“Gerron, it’s good to see you,” Kathryn said. 

“What are you doing all the way out here?” Chakotay asked. 

 

“I was going to ask you the same thing,” Gerron said. “Remember in my debriefing when Admiral Ross suggested that I should work with Colonel Kira. I left the night of the ball, I didn’t want to stay away from home any longer and well, here I am.”

He held out his arms and admired his Bajoran militia uniform.

“They made me an officer, can you believe it?” Gerron said. 

He looked exceptionally proud. 

“Congratulations, Gerron, “ Kathryn said, “You’ll be an outstanding officer.”

Gerron looked thrilled at his former captain’s encouragement. He offered to walk them to their airlock where their shuttle waited. Chakotay introduced Gerron to his sister and explained to her that Gerron served aboard Voyager as well. Gerron told them all about his assignment working with Colonel Kira and how happy he was that he was able to go home to Bajor as often as he liked. Kathryn was elated that Gerron was so happy. Chakotay was very pleased that the boy had found a direction and a passion for something. Gerron hugged the captain goodbye and thanked her for everything she did for him. Kathryn was so touched that Chakotay could see the tears in her eyes. They entered the shuttle and Gerron waved as the airlock door closed. 

Their trip to Dorvan passed quickly and when they made their final approach, Chakotay felt nervous again. The last time he was here was just after his father had died. Kathryn noticed his discomfort and held his hand as the shuttle landed. It was a small comfort.   
“Wait until you see everything,” Sekaya said as they disembarked from their shuttle. 

They were in a small spaceport. Barely bigger than Voyager’s shuttle bay. There was a large display that aired a segment by the Federation News Service. The three of them froze as their images appeared on the screen along with the crowd on Deep Space Nine. The press always speculated about their personal relationship ever since their return to the Alpha quadrant. Arriving at Deep Space Nine together seemed to have stoked the fire.   
“Why are they so interested?” Chakotay asked. 

“I don’t know, but I do know one thing. I’m not going to hide. We did enough of that already, haven’t we?” Kathryn said. They shared a happy smile.   
“Let me give you the grand tour,” said Sekaya. 

Sekaya spent most of the day showing off the reconstruction project. By early evening his sister surprised them with a feast with their tribal leaders. Everyone was thankful for Chakotay’s safe return and pleased that the spirits had guided Chakotay to someone who had brought him such peace. Chakotay tugged at his ear in embarrassment but was grateful at his tribe’s acceptance. Kathryn began to tell tales of their time in the Delta quadrant and just like the tribal leaders, Chakotay was completely enthralled by her dramatic flare. She ended her stories with praise for Chakotay. 

“It was his calm presence that saved our ship, saved me, on numerous occasions. I think he has you to thank. He’s shared a lot of the wisdom taught to him as a member of your tribe.” 

Chakotay felt the heat rise up to his face but he was extremely proud. Always the diplomat, Kathryn knew the right thing to say. After the feast was over, Chakotay and Kathryn walked around the village. There were still places where the damage from battles with the Cardassians was present but the people didn’t seem to let it deter their happy spirits. The sun began to set and they returned to Sekaya’s home. Kathryn went inside to send a subspace message to her mother. Chakotay and Sekaya spoke outside as they watched the villagers slowly return to their homes. 

“I see why you care about Kathryn so much,” Sekaya said. 

“Oh? Why is that?” Chakotay said. 

“She’s intelligent, strong, and wise. Much like you. You compliment each other well,” Sekaya said. 

“I’m not sure father would approve, she’s not a member of our people,” he said. 

“No, she’s not but if he were here to see how important she is to you, he’d understand. We don’t choose who we love. The spirits have picked a path for you and chose her as your companion,” his sister said. 

“Nobody chooses for me,” Chakotay said. 

“Didn’t you say something like that to father once?” 

“A long time ago,” Chakotay said. 

“Have you tried to speak to him in a vision quest?” she asked. 

“I have several times but not about Kathryn,” said Chakotay. 

“Perhaps you should,” she said. 

“I’d like to. Actually, I was hoping to catch a shuttle to Trebus. I wanted to show Kathryn where I was born,” he said. 

“There’s nothing there,” Sekaya said, “The Cardassians wiped it out.”

“I know, but I still feel the need to go,” Chakotay said. 

“Who am I to stop you? We have a few shuttles. You could take one. We use them for supply runs but I’m sure they’ll spare one for the great warrior of Voyager,” she teased. 

“Thanks. We’ll only be gone one night. She hates camping anyway but I think I can convince her,” Chakotay said. 

“Hates camping? Maybe you should rethink this, brother,” Sekaya joked. 

“Not in your life,” Chakotay said. 

Chakotay didn’t need to convince Kathryn much to go to Trebus. She did have one stipulation. If it rained, she was sleeping in the shuttle. They joked their entire flight to Trebus. He teased her about not having a bathtub and she suggested that maybe he should build her one. Chakotay found a clearing just outside the forest and Kathryn landed the shuttle. They walked around the forest for hours. Chakotay looked for the perfect spot. Kathryn didn’t complain but she did map their path with a tricorder. 

“Just in case,” she said a little defensively when Chakotay questioned her. 

“You really don’t want to get caught in the rain, do you?” he said. 

Chakotay found a spot and kneeled on the ground. He placed his medicine bundle before him and opened it.   
“Do you want to be alone?” Kathryn asked. 

“No I don’t mind but I doubt I’ll be very good company.” 

Kathryn shrugged and settled down on the forest floor. Chakotay pulled out the akoonah and began his vision quest. 

He found himself in the forest where he had spoken to his father many times before. He sat on a large rock and waited. Chakotay closed his eyes and thought, let me speak to my father, the man called Kolopak. He felt his animal guide approach him and he opened his eyes.   
“Hello,” he said affectionately, “I haven’t seen you in a while.”

“That is true,” his animal guide said, “you have denied a part of yourself for a long time but I see now that you have found peace at last.”   
“I have,” Chakotay said. 

“Because of the female,” his guide said. 

“Yes and a lot of other things,” he said. 

“You have returned to the place of your ancestors,” a strong male voice said. 

“Father. I came to speak with you,” Chakotay said. 

“You have returned from your long journey,” Kolopak said. 

“Yes, I’m very glad it’s over,” said Chakotay. 

He watched his father sit next to him on the rock. 

“Over? No, son, the journey is not over,” Kolopak said.   
Chakotay looked confused. 

“I’ve returned home. I’m on Trebus now,” Chakotay said. 

“True but your journey is not over,” Kolopak said again. 

“I don’t understand,” said Chakotay. 

“Listen to Kolopak,” his animal guide said, “A new path lies ahead of you.”

“Do you mean with Kathryn? Father, I wanted to speak with you about her,” Chakotay said. 

“I already know,” his father said, “You are a part of me Chakotay, I knew you would be the one to find your own path. You said so yourself. I always knew you would be a contrary.” Kolopak said. 

“But that is not a bad thing,” Chakotay’s guide said. 

“No, that’s very wise, sister,” Kolopak agreed, “this woman brings you peace. A peace that has eluded you for some time. This is not something to be wary of. Embrace it, for it will not come again.” 

“Yes,” the animal guide said, “She will be the last. The one and only soul you will truly love.” 

“Then she is my new path?” Chakotay asked. He never doubted that he belonged with Kathryn. Even when he felt that they would never reach Earth and he could never have the relationship he wanted with her. Chakotay knew he would be by her side in someway no matter what.   
Kolopak and his animal guide simply looked at him. An eagle cried above him. Chakotay looked up and saw two eagles circling above him. It was strange; no animals appeared in his vision quest apart for his animal guide. 

“Who are they?” 

Kolopak looked up at the eagles and then back at his son.   
“The future,” he said. 

“A new path,” his animal guide added. 

Chakotay heard a loud snap and jerked from his vision quest. He looked around. 

“Sorry,” Kathryn said. She was standing a few feet away with a large branch beneath her foot. She had one hand braced against a tree.   
“Sorry,” she said again. 

Chakotay smiled at her, “It’s fine,” he said. 

“I got a little dizzy and stepped on the branch as I caught my balance,” she said. 

Chakotay got to his feet, “Are you alright?” 

“Oh yes, I’m fine. The feeling’s passed. I think I just got up too fast,” she said. 

“You’re sure?”  
“Yes,” she said. She waved her hand at him. She leaned against the tree. 

“Were you able to find what you were looking for in your vision quest?” she asked. 

“I was able to speak with my father,” Chakotay sighed and shook his head, “Vision quests take a while to interpret. I’ll have to reflect more on it.” 

“Well, if you need to talk about it, I’m here,” said Kathryn.

“Thank you. I appreciate that,” Chakotay said. 

Chakotay packed his medicine bundle and tucked it under his arm. He joined Kathryn by the tree. 

“Want to camp here?” he asked. He already knew the answer and laughed at her look of ‘yeah, right.’ 

They made their way back to the shuttle and Chakotay placed his medicine bundle inside and retrieved a blanket. He spread it on the grass and they lay down on it. They watched the sunset together. 

“This place is beautiful,” Kathryn said. 

“It is,” said Chakotay. 

Kathryn looked at him and studied his pensive expression. She sat up and then straddled him. He was surprised for a second but Chakotay propped himself up on his elbows. She placed her hands on his shoulders and leaned in to kiss him. Chakotay felt his heart swell with affection for this woman and remembered what his animal guide had told him. Kathryn would be the last woman he would every truly love. That much was true. Their kissed escalated in their passion for one another. They stripped each other of their clothing and Kathryn lower herself onto him. They both gasped and she paused. Chakotay held her close and they both smiled at each other. They made love under the stars. 

 

Chakotay and Kathryn returned the Dorvan in the morning. They spent a relaxing week exploring the planet’s villages. Kathryn bought a dress and she wore it on their last night. A small group of men were gathered in the city square. They stood around a boy of fifteen. They were shirtless and covered in traditional war paint. 

“What’s going on there,” Kathryn asked. She held onto Chakotay’s arm much as she done all day. They stood and watched. 

“It’s a coming of age ceremony. The boy is about to become a man, so the warriors of the tribe are going to take him on his first hunt,” Chakotay said.   
“Did you go through that?” Kathryn asked. 

“I did the ceremony but I refused to participate in the actual hunting. I went into the forest but I didn’t like the idea of killing the innocent,” he said.   
Kathryn looked at him affectionately for a moment before returning her attention to the ceremony. They watched the boy’s family beamed with pride. The boy himself seemed to hold himself with a sense of belonging and purpose. Sometimes Chakotay couldn’t help the smile that crept onto his face. Kathryn rested her head on Chakotay’s shoulder. 

“I can see why you joined the Maquis to fight for your home. It’s really beautiful here.”

“I joined for more than that. There were many reasons. I wanted to honor my father and protect the innocent. I just wish the Federation didn’t view us as criminals, but…that’s all in the past now,” he said. 

“I would never have met you if you hadn’t joined the Maquis. We may never have become friends and this…” she waved her hand between them, “this may never have happened,” Kathryn said.

“Oh, I don’t know. Fate has a strange way of coming together,” Chakotay said. 

“It certainly does,” said Kathryn. 

Chakotay knew the moment she suggested they visit Dorvan that he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her. If he was completely honest with himself, the real moment he felt it was on New Earth and an idea began to form in his head. He persuaded his sister to walk with Kathryn on their final night so he could send a message to Starfleet, Tom Paris, and Harry Kim.


	7. A Leap

The next morning, Chakotay said a tearful goodbye to his sister, who made him promise he would come visit often now that he was home. Sekaya hugged Kathryn goodbye. They boarded a shuttle back to Earth. When they returned to Earth, they spent the quality time with Gretchen Janeway as they promised. Chakotay told Kathryn that he had sent a message to Starfleet, accepting their offer of a teaching position at the Academy. The trip to Dorvan proved that his childhood desire to join Starfleet still lived inside him. Kathryn was pleased with his decision and Chakotay could tell that she was secretly worried about what his choice would be. Kathryn had sent word to Admiral Paris that she would accept the promotion to Vice Admiral. Her mother never doubted that Kathryn would accept the promotion. 

“You’re just like your father,” she said, “Edward never settled for anything less than Admiral.”

As Kathryn and her mother talked more about Edward Janeway Chakotay reviewed a PADD that covered his duties at Starfleet Academy. The Department of Anthropology and Archeology were excited to have him and were thrilled at his proposal for a Anthropology of the Delta Quadrant course. The faculty were eager to meet him and the PADD mentioned opportunities for research and a possible dig coming up soon. Chakotay was excited to begin. 

Admiral Paris was so pleased that Kathryn had accepted the promotion that he wanted to plan an entire dinner and ceremony for what sounded like every member of the Federation. She politely declined, claiming she didn’t want to make a fuss. Instead, Admiral Paris invited her to a small ceremony in his office at Starfleet headquarters. Chakotay, her mother, and sister would be joining her. 

Chakotay was distracted for the entire ceremony. He had met Kathryn and her family there having excused himself earlier under the guise of having to tie up a few loose ends about his new assignment. He knew Kathryn was suspicious and she was dying to know what was really going on. She caught Chakotay’s eye several times throughout the ceremony. He knew that Kathryn hated being kept in the dark. The truth was, he was planning something. He got confirmation from Tom and Harry earlier that day and left to make sure everything would go according to plan. 

When Admiral Paris pinned Kathryn’s new rank on her new uniform, Chakotay couldn’t help but feel proud of her. He could tell that Kathryn was. She was congratulated by a group of admirals who insisted on attending anyway, despite Kathryn’s objections, when Admiral Paris pulled Chakotay aside.   
“Tom says everything should be ready. Are you sure about this, Captain?” Admiral Paris asked. 

It was the first time, Chakotay had heard his new rank be spoken aloud when addressed and he unconsciously reached up and felt the four pips on his collar. 

“More than anything,” he said to the admiral. 

“Good luck,” Paris said. 

As the small group exited Admiral Paris’ office, Paris stopped Kathryn and said, “Kathryn, do you know a Harry Kim?” 

Kathryn looked surprised, “Yes, why?”

“Apparently, he’s been trying to get in touch with you. Tom’s just sent a message. Looks like Mr. Kim is having a difficult time adjusting and demands to speak with his former Captain,” Admiral Paris said. 

Kathryn looked at Chakotay. He could see the concern in her eyes. Kathryn would never turn down a request for help from a member of her crew, a fact that Chakotay was counting on tonight. 

“Where is he?” she asked. 

As Kathryn and Admiral Paris got a hold of Harry, Chakotay pulled Gretchen and Phoebe out into the hall. 

“Is this part of the plan?” Phoebe asked. 

“Yes,” Chakotay said, “When Kathryn leaves to help Harry, I’ll slip away.” 

“Good luck,” Gretchen said with a smile.

Phoebe simply beamed at him and Kathryn and Admiral Paris left his office. 

“Looks like I’m going to have to meet up with Harry. He seems very upset,” Kathryn said. 

“Oh no, I hope he’s alright,” Gretchen said. 

Chakotay was amazed at Gretchen’s excellent acting skills and almost forgot for an instant that she was in on his plan.   
“I’m sure he’ll be fine. He probably won’t be the only Voyager crew member who needs a little guidance in readjusting,” Kathryn said, “I better go.”   
With that, she left. Everyone watched her disappear into the night. Chakotay took a deep breath. 

 

“Tom is waiting for you by the holodeck. It’s down the hall there,” Admiral Paris said, pointing, “and to the right.”

Chakotay smiled and nodded, not trusting his voice. He was too nervous. 

When he arrived at the holodeck, Tom was waiting for him holding a small package. 

“I just finished setting everything up,” Tom said, “you’ll be able to save the program, I set it all up to go directly to your personal files once it’s saved. In case you need it again. Oh, and here; B’Elanna finished it for me. She said I have no sense of style.” 

Tom thrust the small package into Chakotay’s hand. 

“I’ll wait out here for Harry,” Tom said, “Good luck!”

He gave Chakotay a smug and knowing look as Chakotay turned to enter the holodeck. Chakotay looked around and was so thankful to have such talented friends. Everything was exactly as it should be. He took his time making sure everything was in place, including the small package that Tom gave him. Chakotay wanted everything to go according to plan. He took a deep breath and waited. 

It was almost twenty minutes before he saw Harry and Kathryn approach the holodeck. Kathryn was wearing a blindfold and Harry held her hands, leading her forward. 

“This way, you’re almost there,” Harry said. 

Chakotay smiled as he watched them slowly walk toward him. 

“Harry, where are we going?” Kathryn said. Chakotay could hear her command voice coming through. 

Harry stopped her a few feet in front of Chakotay. He smiled and him and left the holodeck, allowing the holodeck doors to close behind him. Kathryn looked around, trying to figure out her surroundings without seeing. 

“Harry?” she called out. 

“It’s alright, Kathryn,” Chakotay said. 

“Chakotay?” she said surprised. 

“The one and only. You can take off the blindfold,” he said. 

She untied the blindfold and looked around. She gasped and the blindfold slipped through her fingers. Chakotay walked toward her.   
“New Earth,” she whispered. Her breath caught and he can see the absolute surprise in her eyes. Chakotay was elated that Kathryn seemed so touched by his surprise. 

“Yes,” Chakotay said. 

He reached for her hands and lead her forward. 

“I had Harry and Tom help me program it. I wanted to get it right, down to the last detail,” he said. 

Chakotay watched her as Kathryn took it all in. Their shelter, the forest, even her bathtub; it was all there. She ran a hand over the bathtub’s wooden surface. She closed her eyes briefly as she made contact with it, as if she was remembering their time on the planet. She turned to look at him, smiling broadly; making his heart skip a beat. 

“No monkey, though,” Chakotay says with a grin. 

She faked a pout and said, “Aw,” in mock disappointment before she laughed. Chakotay grabbed Kathryn’s hands and led her through the forest.   
“Come on,” Chakotay said. 

Chakotay led her through a path he remembered well, all the way down to the river. She recognized the boat waiting for them. It was the one that he had planned to build; the day Voyager made contact with them. 

“You said you wanted to explore the river,” he said. 

Chakotay walked to the boat and cautiously helped her into it. He joined her and they pushed off from the bank. Kathryn leaned back, enjoying the feeling of their lazy ride down stream. When they finally stopped, Chakotay helped her out of the boat and tied it to a nearby tree. He took her hand and walked them up a small hill. A picnic was waiting for them. 

“I had to guess at this part,” Chakotay said. 

They sat on the blanket and Chakotay poured them each a glass of his last bottle of Antarian cider.

“How did you do all this?” Kathryn asked. 

“Tom and Harry helped. I used Voyager’s scans and tricorder readings of the planet for the most of it and provided them with detailed descriptions of everything else,” Chakotay said. 

“It’s a lovely gesture, thank you,” she says, “To us and New Earth.” 

She raised her glass and Chakotay lightly tapped his glass to hers. They drank their cider and Kathryn eyed him mischievously. He grinned at her. 

“So how did you know I kept the cider in the cargo bay?” Chakotay asked. 

“I’ll never tell. Captain’s prerogative.”

“I thought it was the temporal prime directive,” he laughed. 

She joined in on his laughter. 

“Are you going to tell me the real reason why you burned out the deflector dish that night?”

“No. That really had to do with the temporal prime directive,” Chakotay said. 

Chakotay could tell Kathryn wasn’t completely satisfied with his answer but they had already had this conversation a year ago.   
They talked for a while, simply enjoying each other’s company when Kathryn suddenly got serious. 

“So why create all this, really?” she asked. 

“I wanted to do something special. Go to a place that was special for both of us that one one else could share. And since we can’t go back to the Delta quadrant, I had Tom ask his father to let us use this holodeck for a while,” Chakotay said. 

Chakotay leaned back and opened the picnic basket. He pulled out a pink and yellow peace rose and presented it to Kathryn. She recognized it immediately and took the flower. Holding it in her lean fingers, she smelled it and shared a secretive smile with him. 

“I wanted to kiss you that night on Lake George,” she confessed, “the night you gave me a flower like this.”

Chakotay was genuinely surprised. He didn’t think she thought of him that way while aboard Voyager that early on in their journey. He had always hoped. Occasionally he would get glimpses of what could have been her true feelings but it was fleeting.   
“I would have been okay with that,” he said. 

She leans forward and kissed him. They explored their new relationship more the past few weeks but it always made his heart race when she did that. The kiss was tender and he didn’t want to pull away from her but he was anxious to surprise her one more time. He rested his forehead against hers and waited until they caught their breath. He took their cider glasses and placed them back into the picnic basket. He stood and held out his hand to her.   
“Dance with me,” he said. 

She smiled as he helped her up. He pulled her close and just as they did at the welcome home ball, they swayed together. He was nervous. In fact, he was so nervous, he couldn’t remember a time when he felt like he was going to jump out of his skin. Not when he left for the Academy, not facing the Cardassians, the Borg, none of that compared to the anxiety he was feeling now. She rested her head on his shoulder and seemed content. Now. Do it now, he told himself. 

“Kathryn,” he said, his voice a whisper. 

She looked up at him. They stopped swaying but he didn’t release her. 

“Kathryn, I…” he faltered. He looked into her eyes and started again, “ I love you,” he said. 

“I love you too,” she said with a smile. 

Chakotay looked at her again. She was stunning. She always was. She was starting to grow her auburn hair longer, and it reached her shoulders now. The new uniform looked good on her and the admiral’s belt really accentuated her slim waist. Her blue eyes bore into his and he could see her piece everything together. She was a very intelligent woman after all. If she did figure out his plan, she didn’t let on and Chakotay was grateful. He wanted to do it. 

“Years ago, I made up an ancient legend to try to explain the depths of my feelings for you. The legend may not have been rooted in the ancient stories of my people but the sentiment was a true part of me. I have loved you for so long. Even before our short time on New Earth. You are the most wonderful, intelligent, capable, gorgeous woman I have ever known. Being with you has made me incredibly happy. My time by your side has brought me peace. A peace so calming that I never want to let it go,” he said. 

Chakotay could see her eyes well up with tears. He knelt down and reached inside the picnic basket. He opened the small package that Tom had given him and he had hid earlier. He got to one knee, like old Earth traditions, something he felt Kathryn would appreciate, and produced a ring. It was a simple design; efficient for a career Starfleet officer, a slim silver band that twisted to enclose a shining stone. He held the ring up to Kathryn. Tears fell down her cheeks but she gave him a radiant smile. 

“Kathryn, I want to spend the rest of my life by your side. I want to declare to the universe that I love you. Will you marry me?”   
Kathryn started to nod before he finished his question. 

“Yes,” she said through her tears. 

Chakotay felt as if his heart was going to explode. He jumped to his feet and gathered her into his arms. He hugged her until he felt her pull away. Chakotay was afraid for a second that she had changed her mind and he felt like he would have a panic attack until Kathryn grabbed his face and pulled him to her in a searing kiss. With the ring still clutched in his hand, Chakotay wrapped his arms around her waist. Chakotay felt as if the kiss went on for hours. He was in heaven. They pulled away, only to catch their breath, their bodies pressed close together. Chakotay let go of her waist and showed her the ring. He slid it onto her finger.

“I found this stone on New Earth. I was checking out the river to see what kind of boat I could build when I saw it. I originally planned on making it into a necklace for your birthday but I never got around to it,” Chakotay said, “It’s sort of a cross between a diamond and a pearl. It’s an odd combination but I thought it was beautiful.”

Kathryn held her hand out and admired the ring. Chakotay was so thankful for B’Elanna for helping him design it. The stone wasn’t raised above the band, so there was no fear that it would get caught on anything if Kathryn decided to get her hands dirty.   
“It’s beautiful,” Kathryn said. 

She couldn’t take her eyes off of it.

“You kept it all these years?” she asked. 

“Yes,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn studied his face for a moment and kissed him again. 

When they broke apart, Chakotay said, “So, you’re really saying yes?” 

“Oh, yes,” Kathryn said with a huge smile. She wrapped her arms around his neck and stared into his eyes, “Absolutely, yes.”   
Chakotay smiled back. 

“Promise me one thing,” Kathryn said. 

“Anything,” he said. 

“I don’t want a long engagement. That never really works out for me,” she said, “and I want Voyager’s crew to be there for the ceremony.”   
Chakotay could have laughed. 

“Kathryn, I would march you over to Admiral Paris’ office now and demand he marry us on the spot if that’s what you wanted,” said Chakotay.   
“As tempting as that sounds, my mother and Phoebe would kill me if they missed the ceremony,” she said. 

“Tell you what, why don’t I get Tom and Harry working on contacting the Voyager crew and gathering them together while we plan a ceremony at your mother’s house in Indiana,” Chakotay suggested. 

“Sounds perfect,” Kathryn said. 

They shared a tender kiss. Chakotay let go of her to pack up the picnic basket. As he finished, Kathryn looked around.   
“You were right, you know,” she said. 

“About what?” Chakotay said. He stood, lifting the picnic basket. 

“New Earth was paradise,” she said. 

“Our paradise,” Chakotay said. 

They smiled at each other. She looked around taking in the program’s beauty. 

“Ready to go?” Chakotay asked. 

She smiled and nodded. 

“Computer, save and end program,” Chakotay said. New Earth disappeared and was replaced with the gray metallic holodeck grid. Arm and arm, they exited the holodeck. Chakotay was surprised to find Tom and Harry waiting outside. 

“Well,” Tom said, “Did you do it?”

Chakotay smiled, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Commander.”  
“Oh come on,” Tom said. 

Kathryn and Chakotay smiled at each other. 

“We’re engaged,” Chakotay said. 

Both Harry and Tom beamed at them, congratulating them numerous times. Kathryn told the pair of them their plans, in full command mode, making sure both Harry and Tom knew their jobs and that the wedding would be held at the end of the week to allow enough time for those who left Earth to travel back if they wished. 

“We’ll get right on it,” Harry said. 

“Wait ‘till I tell B’Elanna, she’ll love this,” Tom said. 

The two of them hurried off, leaving an amused Kathryn and Chakotay outside the holodeck. 

“Let’s go see if Admiral Paris is still in his office to tell him the good news,” Kathryn said.


	8. Chapter 8

Chakotay shouldn’t have been surprised at how efficient three Janeway women were at planning a large party at such short notice. Chakotay offered to help on numerous occasions only to say that everything was taken care of. It was quite amusing. Chakotay thought he should feel more nervous or worried but instead he felt content. Kathryn was the one who seemed more anxious. He wasn’t sure if it was the thought of marrying him or the stress of planning everything. He hoped it was the later.

She was becoming so consumed by planning that one afternoon, she grabbed her head as another dizzy spell caused her to sit quickly down on the couch.

“Kathryn, what’s wrong?” Gretchen asked.

“Oh, I’m just a little lightheaded. I’m fine, I just should take a break for lunch,” said Kathryn. 

Chakotay had no reason to doubt Kathryn but this wasn’t the first time she had been feeling off.

She had complained about being more tired than normal once or twice and Chakotay wondered if trying to plan the ceremony on such short notice was too stressful.

“Kathryn, maybe we should call the Doctor,” he suggested.

“No, really, I’m fine. I’ll just get something to eat,” she stood and left for the kitchen.

Chakotay followed her. She went straight to the replicator and ordered lunch. After two helpings, she seemed to look better.

“I guess I was hungrier than I thought,” she said.

“I guess so,” Chakotay agreed.

“I’m trying to figure out where we should go for the honeymoon,” Chakotay said, “Maybe a beach?”

Kathryn wrinkled her nose at the idea.

“Or not, it doesn’t really matter to me,” Chakotay said with a smile.

“I was thinking...” Kathryn said, “I would like a cabin, like we had on New Earth.”

“Something secluded, away from people,” Chakotay suggested.

Kathryn smiled,

“Yes, I think I’d like that.”

“I’d like that too. It’ll be good for us. To get away from everything for a while,” Chakotay said.

Kathryn nodded. She looked pensive and she stared at the kitchen table.

“We’ll be starting our new assignments soon. After we get back from the honeymoon,” she said.

“I don’t know about you, but I can’t wait,” Chakotay smiled. Kathryn smiled and gave him a sideways glance.

“Neither can I, I’m ready to get back to work,” she said. She reached for Chakotay’s hand and held it tightly.

“We really should think about getting our own place. As much as I love my mother, I don’t need her hovering,” she said.

“I think your sister is working on that, actually,” Chakotay said. Kathryn’s eyebrows arched in surprise,

“Really?” “I think it’s supposed to be a surprise, but I overheard her talking with your mother.”

“I’ll pretend to be surprised then,” Kathryn said.

Chakotay watched her finish the last bits of her lunch. She did look a little tired but there was something about her that seem to radiate from her. He couldn’t pinpoint what it was. He settled on it being that she was completely in love. The weekend came unacceptably slowly for Chakotay. He waited seven years to be with Kathryn and he was ready to settle down. He always knew he wanted to share his life with someone special. Who didn’t? The reality that Kathryn wanted to share her life with him almost seemed unbelievable. Chakotay arrived back at the Janeway homestead late one night after a surprise bachelor party that Tom and Harry threw for him. It wasn’t anything too rowdy but the highlight of the evening was the Doctor trying to fend off an overindulgent Bolian female. The hologram was incredibly embarrassed and Tom and Harry mercilessly teased him about it all evening.

The ceremony was to take place Saturday evening. Gretchen Janeway had taken control of the final touches. Her backyard now had a dance floor and many tables and chairs. She had Phoebe, who had an excellent artistic eye, decorated the house and a wooden archway that Kathryn and Chakotay would stand under for the ceremony. It looked like a traditional Earth wedding. The details didn’t really concern him. Chakotay was just pleased that it was happening.. There was a small part of him that was afraid this was a dream or another alien plot that read his heart’s deepest desires and tricked him. He pushed those thoughts aside.

When the evening finally did roll around, Chakotay made sure that his new uniform, complete with freshly minted Captain’s pips, looked perfect. Kathryn had requested that he wear his uniform. She playfully noted that he looked extremely attractive in it. He straightened his sleeves for the hundredth time as he looked in the mirror when Mike Ayala poked his head in the doorway.

“Hey,” he said.

“Mike!” Chakotay said.

He whipped around to see him. Chakotay was pleased that Mike had accepted their invitation. He was concerned that after their argument aboard Voyager damaged their friendship. He and Mike had been friends for years and Chakotay trusted him. He offered the traditional Earth wedding role of best man to Mike.

“I’m glad you’re here,” Chakotay said. Mike nodded sheepishly.

“Look, Chakotay, about what happened on Voyager…”

Chakotay held up his hand.

“Forget it,” he said.

“Really, I’m sorry, I…”

“Mike, just say you’ll be my best man and it’s water under the bridge,” Chakotay said.

Mike looked relieved, “Okay,” he said.

“They’re about ready,” Mike said.

Chakotay straighten his sleeves one last time and took a deep breath. Mike and Chakotay walked side by side down the main aisle. Most of the Voyager crew were in attendance. Even Mortimer Herron, who Chakotay didn’t expect to ever see again.. He sat with Billy Telfer and Tal Celes. Ensign Mulcahey and crewman Henderson sat very close together, she had her arm wrapped around his. Chakotay felt a strong outpouring of love for this group of people and was grateful that Kathryn insisted that they be present for this moment. He caught B’Elanna’s eye and smiled. She looked beside herself with joy. Tom sat next to her bouncing Miral on one knee. Admiral Paris joined Mike and Chakotay at the front of the crowd. Chakotay nodded at him.

Chakotay watched Phoebe walk down the aisle and to his surprise, Gretchen Janeway followed. Chakotay felt a wave of panic jolt through him. Was she coming to tell him that Kathryn changed her mind? But she smiled at Chakotay and walked past to join her daughter. Chakotay looked confused. His confusion only lasted a minute when he saw Kathryn begin her walk down the aisle on Tuvok’s arm. Chakotay hadn’t heard from Tuvok since before they left Voyager. He knew that Tuvok’s son had come aboard Voyager to help Tuvok recover from his illness but Chakotay thought Tuvok had returned to Vulcan.

Scanning the crowd, Chakotay saw Tuvok’s family sitting in the back. He was glad that Tuvok was well enough to attend. He was Kathryn’s oldest friend and he should be here for her. He turned his attention back to Kathryn and he forgot to breathe. She was stunning. She decided to wear a white dress. She had never looked more beautiful. As she clutched Tuvok’s arm, she seem to radiate happiness. The crowd all turned to watch her talk toward Chakotay.

Mike Ayala leaned close to Chakotay and whispered, “She’s gorgeous, well done, Chakotay.”

Well done indeed, Chakotay thought. He felt completely stunned and forced himself to breathe again. Tuvok and Kathryn stopped in front of him. “Admiral, Captain, I wish you the very best in your journey together,” Tuvok said. Chakotay extended his hand to Kathryn and Tuvok placed Kathryn’s hand in Chakotay’s. Chakotay nodded at Tuvok and watched the Vulcan turn on his heel and stoically walk to his seat. Kathryn and Chakotay looked at each other and couldn’t stop the smiles on their faces. They held each other’s hands as they stood in front of Admiral Paris. The Admiral cleared his throat and said,

“Ladies and gentlemen, we are gathered here this evening for a very special occasion. Tonight, we witness the love of these two people and join them in their pledge to each other. Kathryn you have always been strong willed and driven. I’m very glad that you found someone to walk with you as an equal,” Admiral Paris said. He turned to Chakotay.

“Chakotay, you are a very passionate man. You stand up for what you believe in and are a loyal friend. In the absence of Kathryn’s father, I feel it is my duty to demand of you that same loyalty and passion in your future with Kathryn. May we have the rings?”

Mike tapped Chakotay on the shoulder and produced the ring Chakotay had surprised Kathryn with on the holodeck. Chakotay smiled and took the ring from Mike. He turned back to Kathryn.

“Chakotay,” Admiral Paris said, indicating it was his turn to declare his love for his former captain.

“Kathryn, I spent my life trying to find a path to follow; trying to find peace. I met you under extraordinary circumstances and it changed my life. I knew from the moment I met you that you were someone I needed in my life. I love you with all my heart and I swear to you, I will love you until my last dying breath.”

Chakotay slid the ring onto Kathryn’s finger. Chakotay smiled and took a deep breath. It was her turn.

“Chakotay,” she said, he voice full of emotion, “when I first met you I knew that we shared something special. I couldn’t explain how or why I knew but the spark was there. You became my best friend. Your passion and caring spirit have been a guiding force in my life and I can’t image a day without you. I love you with all my heart and promise you we will always come first, no matter what.”

The gesture she made by saying that their relationship would come first after all these years of waiting had touched him deeply. He felt tears threatening to fall from his eyes. Kathryn slid a smooth silver ring onto his finger. They stared at each other’s hands for a moment, seeing the rings as a symbol of their pledge.

Admiral Paris said, “By the power invested in my by the United Federation of Planets, I now pronounce you husband and wife.”

Chakotay felt his heart leap at that statement. He gathered Kathryn into his arms and pulled her close. Kathryn grabbed his head and pulled him down for a passion kiss. The crowd cheered. There were whoops, whistles, and applause. When Kathryn and Chakotay broke apart, Mike Ayala clapped Chakotay on the shoulders and Kathryn hugged her mother and sister. B’Elanna leapt from her seat and tearfully hugged both Chakotay and Kathryn. The Doctor sobbed tears of joy as he snapped photos with his holoimager. Harry had the biggest smile on his face and he clapped loudly.

Tom whistled and waved Miral’s fists into the air. Naomi Wildman ran up the aisle to hug Kathryn. Then the rest of the attendees followed. Chakotay couldn’t tell who was hugging him or shaking his hand. It seemed like everyone wanted to hug him at once. With the exception of the few Vulcan’s in attendance, the Voyager crew seemed to be in a large group hug.

Eventually the crowd broke apart when the band started to play. Dinner was being served and Chakotay found Kathryn’s hand and squeezed it. They smiled as they headed to their table. They ate and Chakotay felt that the evening was as joyous as the Welcome Home Ball. As the evening rolled on, people came up to congratulate both of them. Icheb had announced that he would be attending Starfleet Academy at the start of the next semester. Kathryn looked immensely proud. Ensign Mulcahey and crewman Henderson asked Kathryn to perform their wedding ceremony and looked delighted when Kathryn accepted. Kathryn was flattered.

When they left, Kathryn turned to Chakotay and asked, “When did all of these couple pop up?”

“I was surprised as you were, maybe being home has worked some magic,” Chakotay said.

Chakotay pulled Kathryn to the dance floor and with everyone watching, the two shared their first dance as husband and wife. They stared at each other, holding one another close. They shared sweet kisses much to the delight of the crewmembers. The Doctor hovered around them, snapping holoimages. After their dance, everybody wanted a chance to dance with their former captain and first officer. Chakotay was dancing with Phoebe when, to his surprise, Tuvok and Kathryn stepped onto the dance floor.

“I thought Vulcan’s don’t dance,” Phoebe said.

“So did I,” Chakotay said.

The two of them danced closer to Kathryn to observe the rare occurrence. Tuvok was a surprisingly good dancer.

“I am very pleased for you Admiral,” Tuvok said, “I can see that your union with the Captain has made you happy.”

“It has,” Kathryn said with a smile.

“I knew for quite some time that the two of you held a strong bond. You have made the logical choice to solidify that bond,” Tuvok said.

“Thank you Tuvok,” Kathryn said with a laugh.

The two of the danced for a few more minutes before the Doctor cut in. As the Doctor whisked Kathryn around the dance floor, Chakotay and Phoebe decided to call it quits.

“Excuse me, Chakotay, I’m going to introduce myself to that good looking Voyager man,” she said and sauntered off toward Fitzpatrick. Chakotay sat down next to B’Elanna and Miral.

“It’s about time the two of you came to your senses,” B’Elanna said with a smile.

“I was always a slow learner,” Chakotay said.

He let Miral grabbed onto one of his fingers.

“I’m really happy for you Chakotay,” B’Elanna said, “Really, the two of you just work together.”

B’Elanna laughed, “Seven years ago, I would never have said that.”

“Thanks B’Elanna,” Chakotay said.

He pulled his finger away from Miral’s grip.

“Where are you going on your honeymoon?” B’Elanna asked.

“Kathryn’s family has a cabin on Lake George, we’re going to go there for a week.”

“Sounds lovely,” B’Elanna said.

Chakotay just smiled. He looked out onto the dance floor and watched Kathryn dance with Harry. She looked so happy and laughed as Harry spun her away from him. She placed her hand to her forehead and when she spun back slowly to Harry, she whispered something to him. The two of them left the dance floor and headed toward Chakotay’s and B’Elanna’s table. Kathryn sat down next to Chakotay and sighed.

“I haven’t danced that much in a long time,” she said. Her face was flushed and she rested her head on Chakotay’s shoulder.

“Maybe, now would be a good time to make our exit,” Chakotay said.

Kathryn looked at him pointedly, “Maybe,” she said.

The two of them said goodbye to Harry and B’Elanna and made their way inside the Janeway family home. They caught Gretchen and said goodbye and quietly slipped away from the party. Being an Admiral had its perks and with their bags packed, Kathryn ordered a site-to-site transport to the Lake George cabin.

 

Their time in the cabin felt a lot like their brief life on New Earth. They joked and talked about everything. They told each other details of their childhood, their time at the Academy, anything that came to mind. They went hiking and spend their nights curled up by the fire or making love. There were some days where they didn’t even leave the bedroom except to eat. It was the happiest Chakotay had ever felt. Their time away from Starfleet, Voyager, their friends and families was indeed, exactly what they needed. They lay in bed late their last night after spending the day hiking. Kathryn lay naked on top of Chakotay. Equally naked, Chakotay ran his hand up and down her back absentmindedly. Kathryn grabbed his left hand and traced his ring finger.

“We’re married,” she said, “Can you believe it?”

They grinned at each other.

“It’s like a dream,” Chakotay said.

Kathryn sat up and let go of his hand placed her hand on his chest. Chakotay’s arm encircled her waist. They simply stared at each other in silence for a while. Chakotay couldn’t believe his luck. Nearly a month ago, the two of them were so distant and their relationship so broke, he feared he would never get a chance to be with her. Now here he was, married to his one true love, his soul mater, and lying naked together. That thought in particular was quite appealing. He smirked a little as he felt his arousal grow. She gasped and looked at him. Her face was mixture of surprised and impressed. She traced his tattoo above his eye and kissed him. They rolled around in bed, fighting for control as their hands roamed each other’s bodies and their kisses became more desperate. She won and ended up straddling his thighs. They joined together quickly and both froze when he was buried deep inside her. Chakotay sat up and hugged her close. They breathed together. Chakotay buried his face between her breasts and Kathryn clutched his head to her, fingers buried in his hair. Kathryn laughed as Chakotay kissed her heart. She pulled him up to her and kissed him hard. She began to move which caused Chakotay to groan.

“You feel so good,” he said.

“So do you,” Kathryn replied.

They started to move faster and faster until Kathryn threw her arms around Chakotay’s neck, clinging to him. He felt her muscles contract around him. He wasn’t going to last much longer. He stretched his arm out behind him, bracing himself and wrapped the other around Kathryn’s waist tightly. He thrust up into her.

“Fuck,” he gasped.

He thrust up hard, causing her to jerk a little against him. A dozen powerful thrusts later and he emptied himself inside her. He yelled her name and collapsed on the bed. He brought her down on top of him and Kathryn kissed his face and neck as her recovered.

“I love you,” said Chakotay. Kathryn smiled at him. It was a peaceful, satisfied smile. One that he was proud to think he put there.

“I love you too,” she said.

She sighed and rested her head on his chest and the both drifted off to sleep.

 

The next morning Chakotay found Kathryn up early and dressed. She was at the comm unit glancing through messages.

“Which cup of coffee is that? Second or third?” he teased. Startled, Kathryn whipped around.

“Only my first,” she said defensively.

Chakotay smiled as he ordered his own coffee with two sugars from the replicator. He sat next to her on the couch.

“Anything interesting?” he asked looking at the comm unit.

“Mostly well wishes. A message from Starfleet about my new position at Headquarters; they congratulate me on my recent nuptials and wish me well and I’m to report on Monday morning,” she said. She threw her hands up in the air as if she expected a different reaction.

“You didn’t expect them to let you have more leave did you? After all, the great Kathryn Janeway needs something to do. First contact maybe, or is that the Borg I hear calling?” Chakotay said.

Kathryn chuckled. Chakotay sat back and enjoyed his coffee as Kathryn reviewed more messages. There were several requests from the Federation News Service for an interview and comments on a recent piece. She played the footage.

_In local Earth news, the former captain of the USS Voyager, Kathryn Janeway, has married her first officer, former Maquis leader, Chakotay, in a private ceremony in Indiana on Earth. The newly promoted Admiral and Captain are on their honeymoon. Those close to the newlyweds refused to give details about where the couple went. Both are due to start new assignments next week. Admiral Janeway had been assigned to the diplomatic corps at Starfleet Headquarters while, we’re told that Captain Chakotay will be teaching at Starfleet Academy._

“Well, they didn’t waste any time spreading the word,” Chakotay said. Kathryn nodded and drank her coffee. “B’Elanna says it’s a real life fairy tale, so they must eating it up,” Chakotay said.

“They make it sound like a cliché or a bad romance holonovel,” Kathryn said.

“Bad romance? I don’t know about you but nothing we ever do together would ever be considered bad, well maybe what we did last night,” he said suggestively.

Kathryn swatted his arm playfully.

“No, I suppose not but they don’t need details like that,” she said.

“Oh, I have no intention of sharing any part of you,” Chakotay said.

Kathryn rested her hand on his thigh and turned back to the comm unit. She gasped and squeezed Chakotay’s leg to get his attention.

“What?”

“Look,” she said.

She turned the comm unit so Chakotay could get a better view. The message was from her sister. As Chakotay suspected, Kathryn’s mother and sister were planning a surprise for them. They had found the perfect apartment for them outside of San Francisco. It was close enough to Starfleet Headquarters and the Academy so they didn’t have a long commute to work but far enough away to escape campus. Phoebe said the spare rooms would be perfect for when she comes to visit which made Kathryn roll her eyes.

_You probably wanted to look for yourself but too bad! Mom, your friends, and I have made it official and moved you in already_ , Phoebe said to the screen.

She paused and stared at it, as if knowing that Kathryn needed a moment to roll her eyes again. Sure enough, Kathryn did just that then chuckled as she finished her coffee.

_I’ve included all the information in this message. Even the security code to get in. Tuvok said that you should change the code once you arrive but you don’t mind that I know it, right?_ Phoebe winked, _I hope you enjoyed your honeymoon. See you soon_ , and she signed off.

“They moved us in?” Kathryn said in disbelief, “All I can say is, it better have a bathtub.”

Chakotay laughed.

They packed their bags and left their cabin. They returned to San Francisco. Hand in hand, they walked to their new home. Kathryn punched in the security code her sister gave her and gave Chakotay a seductive smile. They both jumped when a shout sounded from inside their new home.

“Surprise!” Phoebe yelled. Kathryn and Chakotay looked around. Their former senior staff, Phoebe, and Gretchen Janeway stood in the middle of their new apartment. Phoebe and Gretchen rushed forwarded to hug Kathryn.

“I hope you like it,” Gretchen said, pulling away from her daughter.

“So, did you have fun?” Phoebe said to Chakotay.

The knowing looks and smiles meant everyone knew exactly what kind of fun Phoebe was referring to.

“Phoebe!” Kathryn snapped.

Chakotay tugged his ear, slightly embarrassed. “We all decorated,” B’Elanna said quickly changing the subject, “Harry’s got a good eye for furniture.”

Everyone stood aside to allow Kathryn and Chakotay a chance to look around. Their belongings were mixed together on shelves and a desk in the living room. The grandfather clock Kathryn had in her quarters on Voyager was tucked away in a corner. Voyager’s brass commissioning plaque sat displayed on a bookcase. There were numerous photos of the Voyager crew, several of their wedding, and one of Chakotay with his sister. Chakotay’s favorite was a photo of the Voyager senior staff which sat on their coffee table with a bow wrapped around the edge of the frame.

“I took the liberty of supplying the photos,” the Doctor said.

Kathryn couldn’t stop the tears that ran down her cheeks as the examined them. The Doctor had really out done himself. As they continued to move around the living space Chakotay saw that there were photos of the engineering staff, security officers, science team members, almost every department, all happy on Voyager. The Doctor even included a photo of Kathryn and Chakotay during their time on Voyager. They were at one of Neelix’s parties on the holodeck. They were wearing civilian clothing appropriate for the holodeck’s resort program. They were standing together arm and arm, smiling at each other. Chakotay could see that even then, early on in their journey, they shared a strong affection for another.

“They’re lovely. Thank you Doctor,” Kathryn said.

“This is all wonderful,” Chakotay said.

“Champagne,” Tom Paris said and produced glasses from the replicator. They each took one.

“To the happy couple,” Tom said.

They toasted and after assuring everyone they had a wonderful and romantic time on their honeymoon, the senior staff left.

“Call if you need anything,” her mother said.

She kissed both Kathryn and Chakotay on the cheek and left with Phoebe, who turned back at the door and smiled at both of them and waved goodbye. Looking around the living room, Chakotay said,

“This really is a nice place. Look, there’s even a balcony.”

Kathryn brought their bags in from the doorway and placed them on the dining table. Chakotay opened the doors to the balcony and admired the view.

“I like it,” Chakotay said, “What do you think?”

“I like it…I do…I’m just, feeling really emotional. Knowing that they did all this for us,” Kathryn.

“I know, they are an amazing crew,” Chakotay said.

He crossed the room and gathered her into his arms.

“You’ve held your emotions in check for so long when we were on Voyager. It’s okay to let them out now. Spirits, you of all people deserve this,” Chakotay said.

“We both do,” Kathryn said. She wrapped her arms around him and they held each other for a long time.


	9. A New Path

Several weeks later, Kathryn found herself feeling more and more lightheaded and dizzy. Concerned that she was seriously ill, Chakotay had insisted that she see the Doctor when she was unable to keep food down all morning. Chakotay almost dragged her to Starfleet Medical himself but Kathryn insisted that he attend his departmental faculty meeting that morning. She promised to go to the Doctor and find out what was happening. She also promised to tell Chakotay as she found out. She did exactly that and after her visit to Starfleet Medical, found herself sitting outside a conference room at the Academy. She watched Chakotay through a large class window that opened to the corridor. His back was to her. He looked interested in what his colleague, a Vulcan named Mendok, was presenting. 

Kathryn sat on a bench in corridor and waited. She ignored the looks and double-takes from the cadets that passed by. She held her padd in her hand and watched Chakotay. He was speaking now. He gestured toward the screen near Mendok and Kathryn’s heart skipped a beat when she saw his wedding ring on his left hand. It was still a new feeling, being married, and to Chakotay. It made her feel giddy. Chakotay must have made a joke, because the other faculty members laughed, except for Mendok, who raised an eyebrow. Chakotay’s meeting looked like it was breaking up and Kathryn watched him gather a stack of padds. Kathryn stood from her bench and called out to her husband.   
“Chakotay,” she said. Kathryn waved her padd at him as he turned around to see who called his name. Chakotay’s face light up and he smiled as he walked over to her. Chakotay wrapped his arms around Kathryn’s waist and kissed her hello.

“What did the Doctor say?” Chakotay asked.

He lead them over to the bench that Kathryn had just vacated and they sat. He put his stack of padds beside him and waited for Kathryn’s answer.   
“I’m perfectly healthy,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay let out a sigh of relief. 

“There is something we need to discuss, actually,” she said. 

Kathryn was nervous now. She wasn’t sure how he would react to this. She had a lot of mixed emotions as well. Shock being first and foremost. Despite the clear relief that Chakotay felt, she could see the confusion and anxiety on his face. 

“What is it?” he asked. 

“Well, I thought that I wasn’t feeling well because of everything that’s happened. Suddenly being home, the stress of the debriefings, and us. So I almost convinced the Doctor that I was fine,” she paused. She could read the expression on Chakotay’s face. She knew what he was thinking that there was no way the Doctor would ever let her leave without a complete examination, especially when she showed up voluntarily. 

“He sat me down and asked me a million questions, as he always does, and well…I’m pregnant,” Kathryn said quickly.

Pregnant. Hearing herself say it made her feel as giddy as she felt thinking about being married to Chakotay. She couldn’t help the smile that crept up on her face. Chakotay’s jaw dropped. 

Shock, Kathryn thought, definitely shock. 

“Apparently you and I both forgot our monthly contraceptive booster and well…”

Kathryn thrust the padd into his hand. 

“I’m eight weeks pregnant,” she said. 

Chakotay stared at the padd. He ran a hand through his hair. 

“You’re….you’re sure?” he croaked out, “Really?”

“See for yourself,” Kathryn said gesturing to the padd, “The Doctor ran the scan twice. I couldn’t believe it.”

Chakotay looked at the padd but looked too shocked to understand what it said. 

“The Doctor says it’s twins,” said Kathryn. 

Chakotay’s head snapped up from the padd and he stared at her. 

“Fraternal twins. One male and one female,” she said. She took the padd back from him and waited. Even though she felt afraid, nervous, and shocked herself, she found Chakotay’s speechlessness quite amusing. 

“A boy and girl,” he finally said, finding his voice again. 

“Yes,”

“And they’re okay? You’re okay?” he asked. 

“Perfectly healthy,” said Kathryn. 

“A baby…two babies,” Chakotay said, more to himself than to Kathryn. 

He finally smiled. His dimples were pronounced and his eyes twinkled, glistening with tears. Kathryn felt her own tears drop as well.   
“Oh Kathryn,” he said. 

He pulled her into a tight bear hug. 

“This is wonderful,” said Chakotay. 

Kathryn was relieved that he was so happy. In the back of her mind, she really didn’t think he would be upset but it was a relief all the same.   
“I understand now,” he said. 

“Understand what?” Kathryn said. 

“My vision quest. I saw two eagles flying overhead when I spoke with my father. He said the journey wasn’t over. That there would be a new path to follow. This must have been what he meant,” said Chakotay. 

He looked beside himself with happiness. 

“Really,” Kathryn said, astonished.

Chakotay nodded. 

“When did this happened? Eight weeks you said?” 

Kathryn nodded. 

“I have a theory,” she said, “ I think it happened on our last night aboard Voyager.”

Chakotay gave her a predatory grin that made her heart skip a beat. He was remembering their last night aboard as well.   
“An interesting theory,” he said.

“Kind of fitting, don’t you think?” she said. 

“Very fitting,” Chakotay answered. 

They smiled at each other for a few moments before Chakotay’s face fell.   
“There’s something I need to talk to you about as well. My department is planning a dig on an uninhabited planet. They planned it months before I even joined the team but welcomed my expertise and invited me along. I told them I’d have to discuss it with you. It’s a long engagement,” said Chakotay. 

“How long?” Kathryn said. She felt her stomach drop. 

“Ten months,” he said. 

Kathryn felt a rush of disappointment run though her. 

“But now after your news. I won’t go. I can’t go. I won’t be an absent father,” Chakotay said. 

“But you want to go,” Kathryn said placing a hand on his arm. 

Chakotay hung his head. 

“Yes, I do. It would be an amazing experience. It’s something I’ve always wanted to do but I’m not going to go. I can’t leave you and the babies. Ten months, I wouldn’t even be their for their birth. I don’t want you to go through that alone,” he said. 

Kathryn was touched but she wasn’t about to let Chakotay give up on his dreams. She faced the Borg, retook her ship from a Macro virus, handling pregnancy wouldn’t be too bad. She shook her head. 

“No, Chakotay. I won’t let you give up your dream. You said it yourself, this is something you’ve always wanted to do. I’d feel immensely guilty if you didn’t get to go,” Kathryn said. 

“I’d feel terrible not being there to help you through morning sickness or anything else. And not being there for their birth, that would kill me,” Chakotay said. 

“Maybe you’d be able to leave early to come home in time,” she said. 

Chakotay’s face lit up. 

“That’s true,” he said. 

“I want you to go, Chakotay,” Kathryn said. 

“But…”

Kathryn held a finger to his lips and said, “I’ll be okay. My mother’s been through it and would be more than willing to help. And I’m sure Phoebe would.”

Chakotay looked reassured. 

“When will you leave?” 

“I have to give them my answer tomorrow. They’re planning on leaving a week from now, next Monday,” he said. 

“Well, tell them to save a spot for you.”

Chakotay smiled and kissed her cheek. 

“What did I do to deserve you?” he asked. 

“Served under me for seven years,” she said with a smile. 

Chakotay chuckled. 

“You hungry?” he asked. 

“Starving. I am eating for three now,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay shook his head in amazement as they stood. He gathered his stack of padds in one hand and took hers with his other.

“Let me drop these off at my office,” he said. 

They took the turbolift to the third level and Chakotay led the way to his small office. He set the padds down and Kathryn perched on the edge of his desk. Chakotay stepped between her legs and wrapped his arms around her waist as she did the same. 

“Where do you want to go to lunch?” he asked as he nuzzled her neck. 

“Somewhere close, I have to get back to the office,” she said. 

Chakotay started to kiss her neck and Kathryn sighed. 

“I really am hungry, Chakotay.” 

Chakotay smiled and stepped away. He held out his hand and Kathryn took it. She lead the way out of his office letting her hips sway a little more than usual. Which made him step closer to her. Chakotay pulled the door shut behind him and kissed her neck again. 

“Let’s go eat,” Chakotay said, pulling himself away from his wife’s neck.

They ate in the Academy cafeteria. Chakotay listened as Kathryn explained everything that happened at her doctor’s visit.   
“He said that ours is the third Voyager pregnancy. He said Tal Celes and Billy Telfer are expecting and same with Ensign Mulcahey and crewman Henderson. 

“Good for them,” Chakotay said. 

“The Doctor said Mulcahey and Henderson got married as soon as they found out. I guess they didn’t want to wait for me to officiate,” Kathryn said.   
“You sound disappointed.”

“I am, a little. The Doctor said they’ve already picked out a name. Kyle,” said Kathryn. 

Chakotay nodded as he ate his pasta salad. 

“Adorable, isn’t it?” 

“Mmmm,” Chakotay agreed. 

“The Doctor insisted that I come in for check-ups once every two weeks.”

“Is that necessary?”

“He thinks it is. I was concerned because of my age but he assured me everything will be fine. I won’t be surprised if he doesn’t shut down his program until after I’ve given birth.”

“I wouldn’t put it past him.” 

“He’s insisting that he be the one to deliver the babies. To be honest, I’m not sure I would be comfortable with anyone else,” Kathryn said.   
“He’ll be fine. He took care of Samantha Wildman and B’Elanna,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn smiled and nodded, lost in thought. 

“You should eat,” Chakotay said pointing to her caesar salad with his fork, “Like you said, you’re eating for three.”

Kathryn shot him a look of mock annoyance but dug into her salad anyway. 

 

Saying goodbye to Chakotay was more painful than she thought it would be. Kathryn blamed the hormones. She insisted on escorting him to the transport shuttle. Chakotay lingered in the shuttle bay as his colleagues and cadets filed past. 

“I don’t have to go,” Chakotay said. 

“Yes you do. I want you to go,” Kathryn said. 

“I know they’ll be a delay but I want to know what’s going on, every cramp, craving, everything,” he said.

“I’ll message you. I don’t think I could get through this without hearing your voice,” she said. 

“Yes you will and you’ll do so gracefully, because you’re Kathryn Janeway,” he said smiling.

Chakotay took her hands and Kathryn straightened her shoulders. She was not going to start crying in the middle of the shuttle bay. Hormones be damned. 

“Captain, we’ll be departing soon,” called Belok, one of Chakotay’s Bolian coworkers from the transport shuttle. 

Chakotay leaned forward and kissed Kathryn. He let go of her hands and placed them on her abdomen. He let them rest there and said goodbye to his unborn children. 

“You better go,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay kissed her again. 

“I’ll send you a message as soon as I get there,” he smiled, “See you later.”

He turned and boarded the shuttle. Kathryn knew that encouraging him to go was the right thing to do. She couldn’t ask him to deny his dreams and desires to explore archeology while she continued her career. She recognized that the separation would be difficult under normal circumstances but now, after the news of her pregnancy, Kathryn shook her head. It was the hormones. It was all their fault for making her feel this emotional. Kathryn watched the shuttle’s door close then turned to leave. She had work to do after all. There were rumors about a possible coup on the Romulan homeworld and tension between Romulus and Remus were growing. She would have to send a ship to investigate. Trying to keep her mind off the fact that the love of her life was departing at a critical time in their lives, Kathryn returned to her office. Jean-Luc would probably be the best choice, Kathryn thought. Sending the Federation flagship would be a good preamble; showing the Federation was taking this seriously.


	10. Chapter 10

Chakotay was eager to get started. He was grateful that his colleagues embraced and welcomed him to the department at the Academy so easily. He was thankful that they had invited him along on the expedition, that included four faculty members, civilians, and six fourth-year cadets. He had dreamed of participating in digs since he was a teenager. He sat by a port on the shuttle and watched the stars fly by. As if he was suddenly missing something very important. Now with the knowledge that he wasn’t only leaving Kathryn behind but his children he felt uneasy, maybe even a little guilty that he was so excited to be going on the dig. It was a small comfort knowing that Kathryn had told him to go but there was still a small nagging voice that made him feel like he wasn’t starting parenthood on the right foot. 

The shuttle landed on the planet’s surface and it was unlike anything Chakotay had ever experienced. The air felt hot and dry, just like the desert but there were patches of lush green forest like jungles with large flowering plants that surprised him by their mass. Alien planet indeed, Chakotay thought. 

The team set up multiple makeshift shelters and Chakotay was amused by how much they reminded him of New Earth. Standard Starfleet issue shelters. The cadets were eager and his colleagues began dividing everyone up into units.  Chakotay was slightly relieved that he ended up paired with Austin Michaels, a human faculty member at Starfleet Academy. Austin was younger than Chakotay but his passion for archeology made conversation easy. Chakotay set up the comm unit before unpacking his duffel. 

“Expecting a call?” Austin asked. 

“Sending one,” said Chakotay. 

“Be quick, they want to start mapping out the area soon,” Austin said. He put on a hat and exited the shelter. 

Chakotay sent Kathryn a message. Just a short note that he arrived. After instructing the computer to relay the message, he joined the team. 

Chakotay had been gone a month. Kathryn was missing him terribly. She tried her best to keep busy. She attended many functions, Starfleet and civilian, and  made speeches but there was still a profound emptiness that was clearly because of Chakotay’s absence. After a particularly long over-emotional outburst when her mother was visiting, the Doctor had insisted he stay with Kathryn for the duration of her pregnancy. At first Kathryn was reluctant and even insistent that he didn’t need to watch her every move, but after she felt cramps and called the Doctor in the middle of night, only to be assured that she was fine, Kathryn gave in. After a few days she was extremely thankful for the Doctor’s presence. Her unease pushed aside, she could concentrate enough to record a message for Chakotay.

Chakotay had been working outside all day. The manual labor had be tedious but it had toned his body quickly and he was impressed that he actually lost a little weight. He thought of Kathryn frequently and was pleased that she was keeping him up to date on her pregnancy. So far, there hadn’t been any issues that he would be concerned about. He tried to ignore the urge to rush back into the shelter every hour to check to see if there was a message. Usually he received them every two days. In her latest message, Kathryn mentioned her mother was coming for a visit during a break from teaching classes and that she may not send him messages during that time. Chakotay didn’t really expect her to, Kathryn deserved quality time with her mother. By the end of the next day, Chakotay couldn’t stand the anticipation any longer. He left Mendok, Belok, and Austin around a campfire and headed into the shelter. He immediately opened a message from Kathryn. She smiled at him and his heart seem to skip a beat. She was beautiful.

_ Hi Chakotay. I was so glad to hear that your team is making progress. You looked exhilarated in your last message. I haven’t had much going on here. A slow day in the Federation,  _ Kathryn raised her arms in an exasperated manner,  _ My mother came to stay for a while. I think I told you that, _ Kathryn reached for something out of view and Chakotay wasn’t surprised that it was a coffee mug, _ I thought I was coping pretty well with you being gone but the moment I saw my mother on my doorstep, I felt like the I didn’t stop crying for a week. It’s these damn hormones; they’re driving me crazy. At least the Doctor was able to give me something for the morning sickness _ . 

Chakotay was relieved. He knew how much that plagued her and he was helpless to stop it.

_ Speaking of the Doctor, he’s practically moved in since my mother left. _

Chakotay was surprised by this and slightly jealous but he immediately squashed that feeling. The Doctor was a hologram and had no romantic feelings for Kathryn. In fact now that Chakotay thought about it, the Doctor had probably seen Kathryn naked as much as he had. Of all of their friends who could help Kathryn now, the Doctor was probably the best choice. He turned his attention back to the screen.

_ It’s a good thing too. I keep calling him and my mother in the middle of night thinking something’s wrong. He’s assured me nothing is but said due to my frequency of calls, it may just be easier for him to stay with me. _

Kathryn sipped her coffee.

_ There is something you need to know. The Doctor ran his latest scan on the babies and after comparing them to the medical files he has on you, both babies do carry the mutated gene. The ‘crazy gene’ as you called it _ .

She held up her hand to the screen, as if anticipating his agitation and dread. 

_ The Doctor said not to worry, just like what you had done before you were born, he can suppress the gene in both babies. The Doctor wants to make sure you feel involved. He’s worried that you may resent him for being here while you’re away. He’s asked me to start including his medical reports in my messages. He says we can wait for your reply about the mutation treatment and for you to review the report. Even with the delay, he isn’t concerned _ .

Kathryn paused again and drank more of her coffee.

_ Despite having to stop him from singing opera to my stomach, he’s really been a sweetheart. I think he feels as excited for these babies as we are _ , she paused,  _ I am excited, Chakotay, really _ .

She looked around as if she something then looked back at the screen. She rolled her eyes and Chakotay couldn’t help but smile. There was cry from behind Kathryn and she jumped. 

_ Admiral!  _ Chakotay heard the Doctor say. 

He saw Kathryn’s shoulders slump and she shot an annoyed look at the screen.

_ How many cups of coffee have you had? _ The Doctor said. 

He bustled over to her and removed the mug from her hand. 

_ We need to regulate your caffeine intake _ , he said. 

_ Honestly, Doctor, I haven’t had that much _ , said Kathryn.

The Doctor ignored her and pulled out a medical tricorder. He began to scan her and Kathryn took a deep breath. 

_ Doctor I’m in the middle of recording a message _ , she said.

_ To Chakotay, no doubt _ , he said as he ran the tricorder’s scanner over her head. 

_ Yes, now, if you please… _ said Kathryn.

The Doctor leaned forward, so his face entered the screen. 

_ Chakotay, you should tell her to watch her caffeine intake. After all if she doesn’t listen to her doctor one can only hope she’ll listen to you _ , he said

Kathryn pushed the Doctor out of the screen. 

_ Thank you Doctor, _ she said. 

As he left her alone, the Doctor called back,  _ you should get some rest. _

Kathryn closed her eyes and rubbed the bridge of her nose. Chakotay could not help but laugh. Yes, the Doctor was the best choice. Kathryn sighed. 

_ He’s right, _ she whispered as if reluctant to let him hear her,  _ I should get to bed, I’ll talk to you soon. Janeway out _ .

The message ended and displayed the Federation insignia. Chakotay crawled into his uncomfortable Starfleet issue cot and thought only three months to go. 

The next important message came after the expedition discovered a burial site that kept them busy for weeks. Chakotay was anxious to hear from Kathryn and record a message of his own about the team’s discovery. 

_ Hello, my love, _ Kathryn’s message began. .  _ There’s something I want to show you… _

She positively glowed. Kathryn stood up and stood to her side. Chakotay gasped and he touched the screen. Kathryn had grown so much. He had expected this of course but this was the first time he saw her showing her pregnancy. The thought that it was his children and he was the cause of her condition, filled him with extreme pride. Chakotay didn’t notice the tears in his eyes. Kathryn sat back down. 

_ I’m huge _ , she said with a laugh,  _ I avoided replicating a maternity style uniform for months until I just got too big. Even the Admiral’s jacket and belt wouldn’t accommodate this, _ she spread her hands over her abdomen.

_ I blame you for this, of course _ , she said with a crooked smile, then sighed,  _ Oh! The cat’s out of the bag…look.  _

She hit buttons her the comm unit and patched in video footage from the Federation News Service. 

‘ _ Rumors have appeared to be true that Admiral Kathryn Janeway, former captain of the USS Voyager, is pregnant. Video footage show the Admiral walking her her personal physician, Voyager’s former Emergency Medical Hologram outside Starfleet Headquarters. Admiral Janeway recently married her former first officer. A source close to the couple confirm that they are indeed expecting…’ _

Kathryn’s face reappeared on the screen and she arched an eyebrow, “ _ A source…it was the Doctor. His such a gossip _ ,” she shook her head with smile. 

_ I’m not angry. It’s not like I could keep it a secret forever. B’Elanna stopped by with Tom and Miral. They appropriately chastised me for not telling them. Harry stopped by my office to congratulate me. We got a lot of messages. I’ll save them for you. _

Kathryn sat back in her chair, her hands resting on her stomach. She slowly started to caress it. It was such a loving gesture that Chakotay ached to be with her. 

_ You know, I was thinking _ , she said as she waved her hand in the air. Chakotay wondered that she gestured with her hands more often now because of the noticeable lack of a coffee mug.

_ We really should start talking about names. Names, it’s getting more and more real. The more I think about it, the more I like the name Andrew for the boy. I can’t explain it, it’s just a feeling. Whenever I think about them, it’s Andrew and the girl baby. I haven’t figured out a name for the girl. Phoebe suggested Phoebe, of course, but that doesn’t feel right and it would just go to her head. I think for a middle name for the boy,  should be Kolopak, after your father. Andrew Kolopak Janeway. _

She leaned into the screen,  _ It does have a nice ring to it, doesn’t it? _

She wore that crooked smile again. Chakotay reached out and touched the screen, his fingers touching her face on the screen as if she were standing in front of him.

_ We’ll have to think of girl’s names but right now I have to get some sleep. I’ll talk to you soon. I love you.  _  she said. 

“I love you too,” Chakotay answered even though he knew she couldn’t hear him. He sighed. Andrew sounded like a good name and he was touched that Kathryn had considered his father’s as Andrew’s second name. Now he had to think of a girl’s name. He was too excited to sleep but had no idea what to suggest to Kathryn, so he exited the shelter and joined his colleagues by the traditional campfire. 

 

“What took you so long?” Austin said. 

“I was listening to a message from Kathryn,” Chakotay said. 

“Kathryn is your mate?” Belok said. 

Chakotay smiled and nodded.

“Belok!” Austin said, choking  on his drink, “His wife, we don’t refer to them as ‘mates,’”

Belok waved his hand as if to say it didn’t matter. 

“But you have mated with her, she is with child?” Belok said, “ You mentioned this.” 

Chakotay kept smiling, “Yes, she is.”

One thing he noticed with Belok was that he was unlike any Bolian he had even met. Unlike Chell, Belok did not enjoy talking for a lengthy period of time. He was a brilliant scientist and was a kind and friendly man. He just wasn’t interested in following all the social nuances that human culture followed, or Bolian culture for that matter. He was scientist through and through. What mattered to him was data.

“We’re expecting twins,” Chakotay said, “She’s actually due in a few months.”

“How long does human gestation last?” said Belok as if mentally taking notes. 

“Belok, you mean to tell me, you’ve lived among humans on Earth for years and you don’t know the basics of human procreation?” Austin said surprised. 

“I have no real interest in current procreation techniques, it’s the ancient ones I’m interested in,” Belok replied. 

“Nine months” Chakotay answered him. 

Belok nodded. 

“Are you excited?” This question came from Evelyn, a civilian who joined the team. She was older than Chakotay and he knew she had several grown children of her own. 

“Yes, but I’m disappointed that I may miss their birth,” Chakotay said. 

“My husband was away when our second child was born. He as disappointed, of course, but it in no way affected his relationship with our son,” Evelyn said.

“I know, but it’s a bonding moment,” Chakotay said. 

“When Vulcan children are born the parents initiate a mind meld to bond with their child,” Mendok said. 

Thinking about missing his children’s birth caused a regretful cloud to hang over Chakotay. He wanted to be a good father. He wanted to be supportive and loving, just as the people of his tribe had been and while he may not have gotten along with his father all the time, Kolopak set a good example for him. Chakotay felt torn. He was enjoying his time at the archeological dig site. It was everything he hoped for. They made discoveries and he learned alongside the cadets. It was thrilling and yet, he felt a tug of yearning to return to Earth. 

“It’ll be alright,” said Evelyn, who placed a hand on his arm.

She must have noticed his unease. Chakotay smiled at her and nodded. 

“I think I’m going to turn in,” said Chakotay. 

He  said goodnight and Austin followed him into the shelter. 

“This dig has been fantastic so far, don’t you think?” said Austin as he collapsed on his cot. 

Chakotay grunted in response not really wanting to have a conversation. He laid down on his cot and pulled a padd to him. It was the most recent medical report the Doctor had sent on Kathryn’s pregnancy. Everyone was fine, but he reviewed the information for what seemed like the hundredth time. 

“Fetus A…” Chakotay read. A for Andrew his mind connected as his thoughts became fuzzy and eventually, he fell asleep, smiling. 

Chakotay didn’t get a chance to send Kathryn a message about his idea for a name for their daughter. The camp’s long range scanners picked up an incoming plasma storm. The expedition team sent out a distress call and requested an immediate evacuation. They started to dismantle their makeshift camp and pack away their findings and equipment. The plasma storm was massive and could easily cause a fair amount of damage. Chakotay prayed to Spirits for their protection, hoping for a rescue, so he could meet his children.


	11. Putting a Surprise into Action

The Doctor entered Admiral Janeway’s office soon after she summoned him. She was moving around her office as quickly as her highly pregnant body would allow. She was handing stacks of padds to Decan, her vulcan aide. 

“Admiral, you really should be on maternity leave,” The Doctor said. 

“I have stated this several times to the Admiral. Each of my suggestions have been ignored,” Decan said, accepting another stack of padds from the Admiral. 

“Admiral Paris said a plasma storm is headed toward the planet where Chakotay’s expedition is,” Kathryn said.   
“That’s what you said in your message,” The Doctor said. 

“The Titan is going to rescue them,” Kathryn said. 

The Doctor watched the as Admiral walked from her desk to her coffee table. 

“There’s a shuttle headed in that direction. I’m going to rendezvous with the Titan and surprise Chakotay,” she said.   
“You…don’t you mean, we?” The Doctor said. 

Kathryn held up a hand, “I’ll be perfectly fine, Doctor.” 

“Admiral, you are too far along in your pregnancy, You shouldn’t even be here, let alone going flying across the quadrant.You should be on leave!” 

“I don’t want Chakotay to miss the birth of his children and frankly, I want him to be there. The storm presented the perfect opportunity,” 

“But…” The Doctor started. 

“There’s no point arguing with me Doctor,” Kathryn said. 

“I’m going with you,” The Doctor said, “I’ll contact my lab, I’m sure they can get along without me for a while.” 

“I’m sure,” Kathryn agreed. 

Kathryn picked up a duffel, already packed, and looked to the Doctor, “We’re leaving now.” 

As the transport traveled at high warp bringing her closer to her rendezvous with the USS Titan, Kathryn rubbed her shoulders. Everything ached. She missed Chakotay’s neck rubs. She was nervous about seeing him. She had physically changed so much. Even though he said she looked more and more beautiful in his messages. She was concerned that Chakotay would feel differently when he saw her in person. It was silly, Kathryn thought, and pushed the thought aside. Humans were beyond that weren’t they? Her connection with Chakotay went deeper than their physical attraction. Kathryn sighed. Sitting in her quarters, Kathryn thought of what she would say to Chakotay when she saw him. The Doctor entered and sat next to her on the couch. 

“Feeling alright?” He asked. 

“Yes, I just ache all over,” Kathryn said. 

The Doctor looked sympathetic. 

“Would you like a massage,” he offered. 

“I don’t think I can lie down on my stomach anymore, Doctor” Kathryn said. 

“A foot massage then?” He warmed up his hand by rubbing them together, even if he was a hologram and his hands didn’t get cold. 

Kathryn smiled and agreed. 

The Doctor pulled off her boots and helped her lie back on the couch. He pulled her feet into his lap and started to massage them. Kathryn sighed.   
“Thank you, Doctor.” 

The Doctor smiled, “It’s no trouble at all,” he said, “Have you come up with any ideas for girl names?” The Doctor asked. 

Kathryn threw an arm across her face, covering her eyes. 

 

“Plenty, none of them feel as right as Andrew did for the boy baby,” she said. “Why was it so easy to connect a name to the boy by not the girl?” 

“I’m not sure. Doesn’t Chakotay’s people believe that a child’s name is predetermined and that the spirits revel the name to the parent in time,” The Doctor said. 

“I think so, does it mean I’m a bad mother already?” said Kathryn. 

Kathryn knew she was being melodramatic but she couldn’t help but voicing her concern even if she only half believed it.. The Doctor stopped massaging. 

“You couldn’t possibly be a bad mother,” he said, “you brought 140 people and one hologram back from the Delta quadrant.”

“And I made plenty of questionable calls along the way,” Kathryn said. 

“What parent doesn’t,” The Doctor said. 

“You and Chakotay are kind, driven, compassionate, and understanding. You will be great parents. Don’t ever doubt that,” The Doctor said.

Kathryn swung her feet away from the Doctor’s lap and with some difficulty, sat up. She looked at him and placed her hands on his holographic chest.   
“I really am glad you’re with me. You’ve helped so much these past months. You’re a sweetheart, Doctor,” Kathryn said. 

The Doctor looked touched beyond belief. 

“I would do anything for you Admiral,” he said. 

Kathryn pulled him to her for a hug. 

“Bridge to Admiral Janeway,” said the voice of the captain of the transport suttle over the comm.

“Go ahead,” Janeway said as she pulled away from the Doctor. 

“We’ve reached the rendezvous point and the Titan has given you permission to beam aboard.”

“Thank you, notify them I’m on my way.”

“Yes, ma’am.”

“Janeway out.”

The Doctor helped Kathryn pull on her boots and stand.

“Come on Doctor,” she said with a big smile, “Let’s go surprise Chakotay.”

They grabbed their bags and left for the transporter room. 

 

Kathryn and the Doctor beamed over to the Titan, which set a course to rescue Chakotay’s expedition. She was met in the transporter room by none other than her old friend, Will Riker. 

“Will,” she said with a smile. 

“Admiral Janeway,” Captain Riker said as he smiled back at her. 

He held out a hand and helped her off the transporter pad. 

“It’s been a long time,” he said. 

“It certainly has,” Kathryn said. Will offered to take her duffel bag from her and she graciously accepted. 

“This is counselor Deanna Troi, my wife,” he said, introducing a shorter brown haired woman standing next to him. 

“Nice to meet you,” Kathryn said, “This is Voyager’s EMH, Doctor Robert Zimmerman.”

Troi looked delighted and surprised. 

“A pleasure to see you again, Doctor. You’ve chosen a name, then?” Troi said. 

“Nice to see you too Counselor. Actually, Dr. Zimmerman suggested the name. As he is the closest thing I have to a parent, I figured, why not?” The Doctor said, “but you can call me Doctor, everyone else still does.” 

The Doctor shook Riker’s hand. 

“If you’ll follow me, I’ll show you to your quarters,” Riker said. 

Kathryn, the Doctor and Troi followed him to the turbolift. Inside, Will broke the silence. 

“I have to say, I’m not used to seeing you pregnant” he said. 

“Neither am I,” Kathryn. 

“How far along are you?” Riker asked. 

“I’m almost at my due date. Which makes our rescue of the expedition team perfect timing.” 

They exited the lift and all followed Riker to the Admiral’s quarters. Riker showed him inside. 

“Forgive me Admiral, but we’re perfectly capable of completing the mission without Starfleet Command oversight, not that I’m not truly thrilled to see my old friend again.”

He placed Kathryn’s bag on a table. 

“Oh, it’s not that,” Kathryn said. “One perk of being an Admiral is that I can hitch a ride and go surprise my husband,” Kathryn said. 

“Your husband. The Maquis leader?” Will said. His dislike for the Maquis was clear. 

“Former Maquis,” Kathryn said, “And my former first officer. I’m not sure which the Federation News Services likes more.” 

Will nodded, “Well, I hope we find him and the rest of team in one piece,” he smiled. 

“So do I, Captain, so do I,” She smiled back. 

“I’m curious counselor,” The Doctor said, “Can you feel anything from the Admiral’s babies.”

Relieved for the change of topic, Troi said, “I can sense their presence, but nothing more than that. But I’m not a true telepath.”   
“I see,” The Doctor said. 

“I better get back to the bridge,” Will said. “If there’s anything else you need, please let me know,” Will said. 

“Actually, there is,” Kathryn said, “The Doctor will need his own quarters,” she said. 

“I’ll see to that,” Troi said. 

“Great!” Will said and left for the bridge. 

The Doctor, Counselor Troi, and Kathryn all chatted as the Titan hurtled along to each the expedition team before the plasma storm.   
“Now, how will we pull off this surprise,” Troi said smiling at the Doctor and Kathryn. 

“Just bring the handsome man with the tattoo on his face to me, I’ll take care of the rest,” Janeway said. 

The two women smiled. 

The expedition team could see the storm from the surface now. The Titan had arrived in orbit three hours ago and had began to beam the equipment on board. 

Chakotay gathered the cadets together and began a headcount. Mendok counted the faculty and civilian team members. 

“We’re all here,” Chakotay said. 

“All faculty and civilians accounted for,” Mendok said. 

“The last of the artifacts are on board,” Austin said, raising his voice as the wind started to pick up.

“Good,” Mendok said. “Mendok to Titan, we’re all accounted for. We are ready for beam out.”

“Acknowledged,” came the voice of a Titan crewmember. Chakotay could barely hear it over the howling wind.

Chakotay watched as his coworkers were beamed up. Then the first group of civilians and cadets. The plasma storm moved closer and the ground beneath Chakotay’s feet shook. A couple of cadets cried out in nervousness and fear. 

“Everyone stay calm. It’s our turn next,” Chakotay shouted over the storm. 

The next moment Chakotay and his last group of cadets were beamed away from the planet. 

The small group arrived safely aboard the Titan. Mendok and Counselor Troi were waiting for them in the transporter room.   
“Is that everyone?” Mendok asked. 

“Yes,” Chakotay nodded. 

Mendok guided the cadets off the transporter pad and lead them to their quarters. 

“Captain, I’m Counselor Deanna Troi” Troi said. She extended her hand and Chakotay took it. 

“Thanks for the rescue,” Chakotay smiled. Deanna could sense the gratitude and kindness of the man before her. She smiled, he was a very handsome man. She could see why Admiral Janeway was attracted to him. 

“I can show you to your quarters,” said Deanna.

“Thanks.”

Chakotay followed her into the turbolift. She studied him more closely. She sensed his adrenaline from his rescue subside and a content, pleasantness fall over him. He was tanned and looked incredibly fit. He noticed her staring and she quickly said. 

“Expect for the plasma storm, did you enjoy your expedition? 

“I did,” Chakotay said. 

The turbolift door opened and Chakotay followed the counselor down the corridor. 

“I’m really glad we were able to show the cadets what a real expedition was like,” Chakotay said. 

“I’m sure it was a great experience for them,” Deanna said, “Here we are.” 

They stopped in front of the door and Deanna held out her arm, indicating for him to lead the way. Chakotay walked through the door and froze. His jaw dropped. 

“Kathryn,” he said, in complete surprise. 

Chakotay dropped his bag by the door and walked toward her. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her and hugged her to him as close as he could with her pregnant belly acting as a buffer. Deanna entered the room and couldn’t help but smile. Chakotay had pulled back from Kathryn only to hold her face with his hands to kiss her. As if suddenly remembering that Deanna was in the room, the kiss did not last long. 

“What? How? Chakotay said. 

“We wanted to surprise you,” Kathryn said. She smiled mischievously. 

“Obviously, we were successful,” The Doctor said. 

Chakotay whipped around. Deanna wasn’t surprised that Chakotay didn’t notice the Doctor. It a romantic way, he only had eyes for Kathryn.   
“Doctor,” Chakotay said. 

The EMH walked forward and shook Chakotay’s hand. 

“Congratulations Captain, I haven’t had a chance to say,” The Doctor said. 

The Doctor clapped Chakotay on the shoulder and said to the Admiral. 

“I’ll be in the Titan’s sickbay if you need me. I want to brief their doctor about the possible need of their facilities,” The Doctor said.   
He followed Deanna out of the Admiral’s quarters. When the doors closed, Deanna had to steady herself against the corridor wall.   
“Counselor? Are you alright?” The Doctor said. 

“Yes,” Deanna said. She sighed, “Yes, I’m fine.” She smiled. The Doctor looked skeptical. 

“I wish you could feel it’s, it’s…joy. Happiness and love. Intense love, from both of them,” Deanna said. 

The Doctor smiled. 

“I’ve known them for over seven years. I don’t need to feel it, I already know.” The Doctor said. 

Deanna smiled at the Doctor. Even though she knew he was a hologram, perhaps the Doctor had feelings of his own that she could not sense. Deanna walked away from the Doctor. She headed to the bridge, eager to see Will. The feelings of love and joy from Chakotay’s reunion with Kathryn still present in her mind. 

“It’s so good to see you,” Chakotay said, “I’ve missed you so much.”

“I’ve missed you too,” Kathryn said.

Chakotay gathered her into his arms, their foreheads rested against each other’s. After a while Chakotay felt a strong kick against his ribs. He pulled back and stared at Kathryn. She grabbed his hand and placed it over her stomach. 

“There, feel that?” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay stared at their hands and as another kick hit his hand. He looked up at Kathryn. He have her a huge smile. 

“Your children have kept me up all night,” she said as she returned his smile. 

“Our children,” Chakotay said with wonder. 

Kathryn pulled him to the couch and they sat down.

“So you and the Doctor came all the way here to surprise me?”

“The Doctor insisted that he come along,” Kathryn said. 

“It’s the most wonderful surprise,” Chakotay said. He leaned forward and kissed her. 

When they broke apart Kathryn said, “I’m sorry that you had to cut your dig short.” 

“I’m not,” Chakotay said, “It was a great time, productive, instructive for me and the cadets, but being able to be here with you and in time for the birth of our children. I couldn’t be more happy.”

Kathryn look relieved. He knew that she was adamant that he’d go on the expedition but Chakotay was sure that Kathryn felt that his absence was painful. True, he was disappointed that he wasn’t there for her during the majority of her pregnancy. But with the Doctor’s reports and her messages, he felt like he hadn’t missed much. 

“Thank you for sending the Doctor’s updates,” Chakotay said. 

“It was his idea. Oh, Chakotay, he’s been such a sweetheart. He’s helped so much, I’m so glad to have him around. I never expected to say that. He’s a hologram and yet he’s not. Does that make sense?” 

“Yes. I’m glad he was there to help,” Chakotay said. 

“Better him than my mother, I would have driven her crazy,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay laughed. 

 

“Somehow, I doubt that.” 

“Oh?”

“She raised you,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn chuckled and nodded.

Chakotay sat back on the couch and stretched out his legs.

“So you’ve picked out a name for our son already,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn looked sheepish, then a little sad. 

“Yes, but I can’t think of a name for the girl. I’ve come up with several options but they don’t feel right.” 

“I have a suggestion,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn turned to him, eager to hear what he was going to say. 

“Taya” Chakotay said, “It’s the feminine form of Chakotay. I offered it to B’Elanna but she wasn’t interested.” 

Kathryn’s face lit up. 

“Taya,” she said. She said the name over and over and each time his smile grew. “ I like it.” 

Chakotay smiled. 

I’m glad, it felt right.” he said. 

“Now we need a middle name,” Kathryn said. 

“How about Phoebe?” joked Chakotay. 

“Never, it’ll just go to her head,” Kathryn said, “my sister keeps pushing me to name our daughter after her ever since I told her I was pregnant.”  
Chakotay shook his head, “How about after your mother? Do you think she’d like that?”

“She’d love it,” Kathryn said. 

“I think we’ve decided then. Taya Gretchen Janeway for the girl and Andrew Kolopak Janeway for our son,” Chakotay said. 

Chakotay reached for her hands and held them between his. 

“We’ll meet them very soon,” Chakotay said. 

“I think I’m more nervous now than when I found out I was pregnant.” 

“We’ll get through it together.”

Kathryn settled next to Chakotay and he wrapped his arm around her shoulders. 

“Counselor Troi is planning a dinner tonight for the expedition team and the Titan’s senior staff. She invited me and the Doctor of course. If you’re up for it, I’d like to go.” 

“Of course, but I do need to shower. I’m filthy and I’ll need to replicate a new uniform, none of mine are clean.”

“I can do that, this dinner isn’t anything formal, I told her I didn’t want anything special because of my Admiral’s rank.” 

Chakotay stripped off his duty uniform as he headed into the bathroom. Kathryn watched him as he undressed. 

“You’ve lost weight,” she said, “You look good.” 

Chakotay smiled as he started the sonic shower. 

“Thanks,” he called from the bathroom. 

Chakotay let the sonic waves lift the dirt and grime off of him. 

“How did you get all the way out here anyway?” Chakotay called out to her. 

“Admiral Paris told me about the storm and the request for evacuation.”

Chakotay jumped. He turned quickly to find Kathryn standing in the bathroom, watching him. Chakotay wasn’t embarrassed and he simply stared at her as she admired his toned body. 

“You’re beautiful,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn smiled, “You look like you got a good workout.” 

“I did,” Chakotay said. 

He shut off the shower and walked over to her. Not bothering with a towel, he trapped her by the sink. He leaned in close and said,   
“I need to shave.” 

Chakotay smiled and pushed away from her. He walked over to the replicator and came back with a razor. 

Kathryn took the razor from him and careful shaved the stubble that had grown from the past few days. Chakotay just watched her as she concentrated on her task. When she was finished, he captured her lips with his. 

“I love you,” he said. 

“I love you too,” Kathryn replied. 

She smacked his bare ass cheek and said, “Now, get dressed,” and she waddled away. One hand holding her belly. 

“Aye Aye Admiral,” he said. 

The dinner that Deanna arranged was lovely. It was nice to catch up with Will and meet Chakotay’s colleagues. The Bolian, Belok had many questions about human pregnancy which the Doctor was more than happy to answer. Kathryn was delighted to hear that Jean-Luc and Doctor Beverly Crusher welcomed a son, Renné Picard. Kathryn could see the happiness Will felt for his former Captain. Kathryn sat across from Chakotay at the table. They flanked Will Riker on either side of the table while Deanna sat at the far end. The mess hall was converted into a large banquet hall that the expedition team and the Titan’s senior staff enjoyed. Kathryn was slightly concerned that Will’s dislike of the Maquis would make this a difficult evening for Chakotay but Will warmed up to Chakotay quickly.. Will asked about Chakotay’s time on Voyager which he happily told him about. During his stories, Chakotay made eye contact with Kathryn from across the table. It was like a spark shot between them every time and it made Kathryn’s heart skip. His brown eyes knew exactly where to find her’s and it make her feel almost giddy. 

The dinner crowd broke apart and spread around the mess hall to talk to everyone. Kathryn made her rounds, introducing herself to each small group. Telling the obligatory story about life on Voyager and the of course Chakotay. There was lots of congratulations about her pregnancy and Kathryn’s nerves seemed to dissipate with each one. She felt Chakotay’s eyes on her as she talked with the Doctor by the mess hall’s viewport. Her eyes met his and their spark ignited again. He smiled at her and she knew what he was thinking. Both of them wanted this dinner party to be over so they could have a part of their own back in her quarters. She blushed and turned her attention turned her attention back to the Doctor. 

Chakotay walked over to them and Kathryn felt her heart race. Would she ever not feel like a giddy school girl around Chakotay, she thought, probably not. Chakotay put his hand at the small of her back and kissed her cheek. He started talking to the Doctor, thanking him for helping Kathryn while he was gone. The Doctor was happy to help as always. Chakotay ran his hand up down Kathryn’s back and kissed her neck again.

“I’d like to go back to our quarters, my feet are killing me,” Kathryn said. 

“Alright,” said Chakotay. 

They quickly said their goodbyes and left the mess hall. When they were alone in their quarters. They smiled at each other. The spark was there again. Chakotay’s eyes twinkled and he leaned down. Kathryn impatiently pulled his head down to her and they kissed. It didn’t take long for their kiss to grow more passionate. 

“I’ve missed you,” Kathryn said, breathless. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve ached for you,” Chakotay growled and started to massage her breasts which where considerably larger since she was pregnant. Kathryn moaned but her moan turned into a gasp and she quickly pulled away from Chakotay.   
“What?” he said. 

Kathryn’s hands went to her stomach. She winced. 

“Kathryn, what is it?” Chakotay said. 

“Chakotay,” she gasped. She reached for him and grabbed his arm. “I think…my water broke.” 

Chakotay stood frozen for a second then slapped his combadge. 

“Chakotay to the Doctor,”

The Doctor’s voice responded immediately, “Go ahead, Captain.”

“Kathryn’s water broke,” he said. Chakotay was surprised at how steady his voice sounded while it felt that every nerve in his body was jumpy.   
“Report to sickbay, I’ll meet you there,” The Doctor said. 

“Acknowledged,” Chakotay said, “ Kathryn, we have to go to sickbay.” 

Kathryn nodded. She was breathing quickly. Trying not to show how much pain she was in. 

Chakotay helped her walk to the turbolift and they rode it to sickbay. The Doctor met them in the corridor and they both escorted Kathryn inside. The Titan’s doctor looked up with a smile and approached them. 

He pulled out a tricorder and said, “Looks like the babies are coming now, no false alarm.” 

Chakotay stared wide eyed at the Titan’s doctor. They helped Kathryn onto a biobed and the Titan’s doctor turned to Chakotay. 

“Stay up here and hold her hand,” he moved Chakotay by the shoulders to be near Kathryn’s head. 

“You want to deliver?” The Titan’s doctor said to the EMH. 

“Yes,” he said. 

“I’ll assist you,” the Titan’s doctor said. 

After fourteen hours, Chakotay was sure his hand wouldn’t ever be the same again. Kathryn had gripped it like a vice and hand not let up. Kathryn was panting, trying to follow the Doctor’s instructions on breathing techniques. Chakotay had his head buried in Kathryn’s neck. He was tired but he knew it was no way near as exhausted as Kathryn surely felt. 

The Doctor scanned Kathryn one more time. 

“Okay, it’s time,” said the Doctor. His sleeves were rolled up. Chakotay’s head shot up. 

After a lot of yelling, pain, and threats and blame thrown Chakotay’s way. The Doctor was telling Kathryn to push. Chakotay stared as his son was born. The Titan’s doctor and nurses cleaned the infant boy and Chakotay’s son’s wails filled sickbay. A nurse placed him in a incubator and Chakotay took a step toward it. Kathryn latched onto his hand tighter. 

“One more,” The Doctor said. 

Chakotay was pulled back toward Kathryn. 

“I can’t,” Kathryn said. 

“Yes, you can. You’ve already done it once. You can do it,” Chakotay encouraged. 

On the next contraction, The Doctor ordered Kathryn to push and soon his daughter followed her twin. She was placed in an incubator beside her brother. Kathryn collapsed on the biobed, completely exhausted. Chakotay had tears in his eyes when the Doctor handed him his daughter and Kathryn his son. He couldn’t stop staring. She was so little. Both of them were. With dark hair and skin slightly lighter than his own. They both had his lips but he could see Kathryn in many of their features. Chakotay moved close to Kathryn who silently cried as she cradled their son.   
“They’re beautiful,” She said smiling.

“Yeah,” was all Chakotay could said. 

The Doctor came up to the other side of the biobed. He beamed at them.   
“Congratulations,” he said, “They’re perfectly healthy.” 

Chakotay looked up, suddenly concerned. 

“The crazy gene?” 

“Suppressed in both of them, They’re both fine,” The Doctor reassured him. 

Relieved, Chakotay looked to Kathryn. They smiled at each other. Carefully clutching their daughter to his chest, Chakotay leaned in to kiss Kathryn. It was a tender kiss, not meant to linger but their love for each other caused it to go on longer than he had planned. 

The Doctor cleared his throat. 

“I don’t mean to interrupt, but we need to enter official names on the passenger manifest and I need to complete their birth certificates.”   
Chakotay and Kathryn broke apart. Chakotay nodded to Kathryn. 

“The boy is Andrew Kolopak Janeway and the girl is Taya Gretchen Janeway,” Kathryn said. 

The Doctor smiled, “I’m so happy for you,” he said. 

“Thank you, Doctor,” said Chakotay. 

“Yes, thank you, for everything you’ve done,” Kathryn said. 

The Doctor filled out the birth certificates and the Titan’s doctor congratulated both Chakotay and the Admiral. He looked to the twins and said,   
“Welcome aboard.”

The Doctor returned with is holoimager.

“Do you mind? I’m sure the Voyager crew would want to see?”

“I’m a mess,” Kathryn protested. 

“You’re gorgeous,” Chakotay said. 

“Allow me,” the Titan’s doctor said. He motioned for the EMH to join his former Captain and first officer. Everyone smiled as the Titan’s doctor snapped a few images. 

“Thank you,” the Doctor said. 

Chakotay looked down at his daughter and couldn’t believe how lucky he was. 

Kathryn and the twins were released from sickbay and along with the Doctor, the Janeway family departed the Titan when it returned to Earth. Kathryn said goodbye to Will and Deanna who both looked besides themselves with joy with the new arrivals. The expedition team congratulated Chakotay everyone admiring his beautiful children. The twins were bright eyed on their return to their home outside San Francisco. The Doctor had sent a message to their friends and Kathryn’s family. Gretchen and Phoebe were waiting for them when they returned. 

“Congratulations,” Phoebe whispered excitedly. 

She carefully hugged both of them and admired her new niece and nephew. 

“Oh Katie, they’re beautiful,” Gretchen said. 

Everyone sat on the couch and the Doctor hovered nearby. 

“What are their names?” Phoebe asked as she took Andrew from Chakotay’s arms. 

“This is Andrew Kolopak,” Kathryn said, smiling at the infant Phoebe held. 

“Kolopak?” asked Gretchen. 

“After my father,” Chakotay said with pride.

Gretchen smiled in understanding.

“And this,” Kathryn said, holding her daughter in her arms, “is Taya Gretchen.” 

Kathryn’s mother looked touched and on the verge of tears.

“Oh Katie,” she said, wrapping her daughter in a one armed hug. 

“Here,” Kathryn handed Taya to her mother. 

“Why Taya?” Phoebe asked as she smiled down at the little boy in her arms. 

“It’s the feminine form of Chakotay,” Kathryn said. She and Chakotay shared a tender smile. 

The Doctor whipped out his holoimager and snapped a few photos. 

“Doctor,” Kathryn warned. 

“What,”he shrugged, “I’m sentimental.”

Chakotay grinned at the Doctor. 

Phoebe and Gretchen took their turns holding each newcomer to the Janeway clan. 

“Your father would have been thrilled,” Gretchen said. Chakotay could see the tears that formed in Kathryn’s eyes. She blinked them back and hugged her mother. 

Phoebe hugged Chakotay and her sister. 

“If you have another one, name her Phoebe,” she said. 

“Oh, Phoebe,” her mother said chuckling. 

Phoebe winked at Kathryn who laughed. Chakotay watched the scene of domestic bliss before him. He loved being a part of the Janeway family. He felt proud to be Kathryn’s husband and now the father of her children. 

“We’ll plan a party so everyone can meet the babies,” Gretchen said, “After you’ve had time to adjust.” 

“Sounds good,” said Chakotay. 

After an hour, Gretchen and Phoebe left. Kathryn waved at both of them from the door. When they were out of sight, Kathryn leaned back against the door. The Doctor sat on the couch holding Andrew and Taya, each in one arm. He was making faces. They both stared up at him.   
Chakotay sat next to him. 

“I do this with Miral and she loves it,” The Doctor said. 

“You’re good with them.”

“My program has an entire child rearing database. I’m thinking about adding more as the Voyager children get older. To fulfill my godfather duties,” He said. 

“That’s a good idea,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn sat next to the Doctor and he handed the babies to their parents. 

“Why don’t we try feeding them,” he said. 

As the Doctor instructed Kathryn on what to do, Chakotay walked around the living room, holding their daughter. She felt so small in his hands and he held her with such care and reverence, he felt he would burst. 

“We really should set up a check up schedule, every two weeks, just to be safe,” the Doctor said. 

“Whatever you say, Doctor,” Kathryn said. 

Later that evening, the Doctor departed happily and Chakotay and Kathryn alone with their children. They set them down in their cribs and collapsed on the bed. 

“I’m exhausted,” Kathryn said. 

“I bet,” said Chakotay, “so am I.” 

 

“It’s not going to get any better,” said Kathryn. 

“We’ll be sleepless for years but just think of how we’ll watch them grow,” Chakotay yawned. 

Kathryn rolled over to look at him. She smiled as she ran her fingers over Chakotay’s tattoo. He smiled back, his eyes fluttering close for a few seconds at her touch. They stared at each other, sharing all the love, excitement, and happiness they felt through silent communication until, they both fell asleep. Only to be awoken by the cries of their newborns a few hours later.


	12. Two Years Later

_ How long will you be gone? _ Gretchen asked. 

“Just a few days. Kathryn’s due to arrive at Proxima Station. They’re supposed to spend a few days there for personnel transfers and resupplying,” Chakotay said.

Gretchen studied his face,  _ You really miss her, don’t you? _

“More than anything,” Chakotay said. He didn’t even try to hide his emotions, he knew it was impossible when it came to the Janeway women. It was something he found comforting during Kathryn’s absence. He could catch glimpses of her personality in her mother and sister. Which is why he spent so much time with them whenever Kathryn was away on assignment. 

Gretchen smiled at him from the comm unit’s screen.  _ What are you planning for her birthday? _ she asked. 

Chakotay sighed., “I know she’s been missing being out there, in the thick of things, and this assignment has excited her. Her messages talk about how good it feels to be back in space.”

_ Sounds like Kathryn, _ Gretchen said. 

“She misses the children. She said she feels like she’s missing so much with being gone.”

_ Oh, Edwards felt the same way when he was away from the girls, it comes with the job, _ said Gretchen said. 

“I’m not sure how you did it? I can barely stand her being gone for a few weeks. Even with teaching and the twins, it feels like I’m missing something,” Chakotay said. 

_ I’m sure she feels the same way. Her work fulfills her but now that she has a family. Things have changed. I’ve noticed. Starfleet isn’t her sole passion anymore.  _ Said Gretchen.

“You think so?” Chakotay asked. 

Gretchen gave him a reproachful look. 

_ Make no mistake, Chakotay, Kathryn loves her job but she will never love work more than you or your children. Years in the Delta quadrant has changed her. I think it took her being pull away from her perfectly laid life plan for her to realize what she really wanted. I wouldn’t worry, Chakotay _ , Gretchen said. 

Chakotay found it easier to express his concern after what Gretchen said. It made him miss his own mother and how he would have loved to seek her counsel.

“I’m not worried, exactly, I just concerned that I’m holding her back. That staying on Earth isn’t what she wants and she’ll end up resenting me,” Chakotay said. 

After hearing his concern out loud, he realized how childish and ridiculous it sounded. He tugged his ear in slight embarrassment.

_ I doubt that. Being an Admiral, Kathryn can still fight for the ideals of the Federation. She can help on a larger scale. I think that appeals to her. I’ve said, the Delta quadrant changed her. Going into space, exploring, that has always been her goal, ever since she was little. But now, her goals have changed. She’s no way near retirement, but she’s just slowed down a little,” _ said Gretchen. 

“But she’s always liked being the one to get her hands dirty. She liked taking control of a situation,” Chakotay said, unable to stop himself from justifying his concerns.

Gretchen smiled. 

_ She’s an explorer, like her father, that will never change. Why do you think she accepted the promotion? She gets to boss around more people, _ Gretchen shook her head in amusement,  _ Kathryn adores motherhood. She just needs to strike a good balance _ .

Chakotay nodded. He knew she was right.

_ Why don’t you drop the twins off after your last lecture and we’ll have dinner. You can tell me all about your plans for Kathryn’s birthday, _ Gretchen said.

Chakotay beamed at her and gladly accepted, hoping she would make her caramel brownies for dessert. 

Chakotay was extremely pleased that his two year old twins got along with their grandmother so well. They were Gretchen’s only grandchildren and she loved to spoil them. Chakotay watched as his children sat in their highchairs, awkwardly picking up pieces of food with their chubby fingers. He smiled as he studied the babies before him. He could see both Kathryn and himself in their faces. While their hair, skin, and eyes were similar to his, they had Kathryn’s nose. Taya had Kathryn’s crooked smile already and Andrew inherited his father’s dimples. Chakotay didn’t notice Gretchen watching him and jumped when she spoke.

“They’re beautiful children, Chakotay.” 

Chakotay beamed with pride. 

“Yes, they are,” he said. 

Gretchen clutched a cup of coffee as she smiled at Andrew who displayed a mashed piece of food in his chubby fist. 

“So, what’s your plan for Kathryn’s birthday?”

Chakotay sighed. 

“I don’t have anything special planned, but she mentioned that she needed a vacation after this last round of diplomatic talks,” he said, “I was thinking I’d meet her at Proxima Station and the two of us would go to Risa or somewhere like that.” 

“It’s been a long time since I’ve been on Risa,” Gretchen said. 

She smiled at the memory. 

“Edward took me there after I said I wanted to visit. That’s where Phoebe was conceived,” she said matter of factly. Not the slightest bit embarrassed. Gretchen smiled slyly over her coffee.

Chakotay returned her smile. 

“Well, then it’s not surprising that she’s such a free spirit,” he said. Gretchen smiled and laughed in a way that reminded him so much of Kathryn that he felt a pang in his chest that she wasn’t here in front of him now. 

“I miss her,” Chakotay said. He could stop himself. 

“You’ll see her soon,” Gretchen said. She reached for his hand, patting it gently. 

Chakotay helped Gretchen settle his children down for bed after dinner. He kissed each of their sleepy heads and Gretchen walked him to the door. 

She hugged Chakotay and said, “Wish Kathryn a happy birthday from me.”

“Are you sure you’ll be alright,” Chakotay said. 

There was a small part of him that felt guilty leaving his two young children with a woman who hadn’t taken care of young children in years. 

“Oh, I’ve done this all before,” Gretchen said with a wave of her hand, “Go, have a romantic getaway with my daughter.” 

Chakotay couldn’t hide the blush that crept up on his face and Gretchen laughed as she pushed him out the door. Chakotay smiled and headed out to meet up with Kathryn. 

 

It seemed like all their trips required a transport of some kind and Chakotay found that he missed being aboard Voyager and having free reign over the availability of shuttles. Finally, he reached Proxima Station and Chakotay settled in the small accommodation section of the station. He tried to enjoy his time away from preparing lectures, grading assignments, and dealing with cadets but he found his attention wavered. All he could think about was the fact that Kathryn’s starship would arrive tomorrow afternoon. He had already programmed the room’s replicator with a bouquet of peace roses, her new favorite, to surprise Kathryn with when he met her at the airlock. The station’s commander offered to notify him once Kathryn’s ship had docked. 

Chakotay had planned everything just like the night he proposed. He would woo her with a romantic dinner and flowers and if that didn’t work, a long hot bath always did the trick. He was too nervous to sleep much and the next morning he wandered the station and finally as he sat in a restaurant, the station commander informed him that the USS Avenger was cleared to dock. Chakotay rushed back to his quarters and replicated the roses for Kathryn. His hear was racing. The thought of seeing Kathryn again made him feel giddy. He arrived at the docking port and hid the flowers behind his back. The door opened and several Starfleet officers and crewman exited. She wasn’t there. 

Chakotay was worried that he has made a mistake, that he’d gotten the dates wrong. He replayed her messages in his head and he was sure Kathryn said she’d be arriving at Proxima on her birthday, May 20 th . Chakotay was just about the go through the airlock and look for her when there she was. A bag slung over he shoulder and a padd in one hand. Always working, Chakotay chuckled. With her head down, Kathryn was completely focused on what she was reading. Chakotay smiled and stepped in front of her, blocking her path.

“You really don’t know when to quit working, do you?” Chakotay said. 

Startled, Kathryn looked up. She smiled when she saw her husband standing before her. She slipped the padd into a pocket on bag and stepped down from the airlock. Her beautiful smile made her face light up and it made Chakotay’s heart stop. He smiled back and pulled the bouquet of flowers from behind his back. 

“Happy birthday,” he said. 

“Aw,” she said accepting the flowers, “thank you. They’re lovely.” 

Kathryn then wrapped her arms around Chakotay’s neck, the bag slipped from her shoulder and hung awkwardly on her arm but she didn’t seem mind. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her waist. 

“I’ve missed you,” he said. 

“Me too,” Kathryn said. 

Kathryn leaned into him, kissing him lightly, then again with more passion. Chakotay thought he would never get tired of kissing this woman. He returned her passion but quickly stopped them. If he didn’t stop now, he knew they would be going at it against the closest wall. And that was the kind of publicity a Starfleet Admiral and Academy professor should avoid. He rested his forehead against hers and he tried to catch his breath. She wasn’t helping by stealing light kisses in between her own gasps. 

“Come on, I have a surprise,” he said. 

“Oh?” said Kathryn. 

She adjusted her bag and grabbing his hand, followed him to his quarters. 

“Was the trip relaxing at all?” Chakotay asked. He already knew the answer. Kathryn was almost always in work mode. As they entered Chakotay’s quarters, Kathryn dropped her bag. 

“You know, I am tired,” she said and Chakotay smiled, “but, Admiral Hayes sent me the final report on Voyager’s refit and I was just looking over all the changes.” 

Chakotay chuckled. The topic of Voyager’s refit has been a popular subject this past year. She was following the progress every step of the way. Chakotay went to the replicator. 

“What’s so funny,” Kathryn asked. 

“Nothing,” Chakotay said, shaking his head. 

“Coffee, black,” he said to the replicator. 

It produced a steaming mug for him and he headed to the couch where Kathryn was lounging. She had placed her bouquet in a vase he had waiting for her on the coffee table. 

“Here,” he said, handing her the mug and sitting next to her.

“You know me so well,” she said, a thankful grin flashed over her face. She took a long drink and closed her eyes. When she opened them again she noticed him staring. He hadn’t meant to, but she was breathtaking. 

“What?” 

“You’re beautiful,” Chakotay said. 

She blushed, shot him a look of mock annoyance and drank more of her coffee. 

“How are the children?” she asked. 

“A handful. They’re growing up so fast,” Chakotay said. 

“Are they with my mother?”

Chakotay nodded, “She insisted that she watch them.”

“I think there’s a small part of her that misses taking care of babies,” Kathryn said. She paused and then said, “I’ve missed them so much. I thought I’d be okay with seeing them through subspace messages but it wasn’t enough,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay was secretly  pleased to hear her say that. There was a tiny part of him that was concerned that even though Kathryn has said she wanted to stay planetside, he knew that space exploration would always call to her. 

“I’ve missed you,” she said simply, interrupting his thoughts. 

“I definitely don’t like not being by your side,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn placed a hand on his chest. 

“This is a wonderful surprise, seeing you.” 

“That reminds me,” Chakotay said, “We’re leaving for an extended weekend on Risa.”

Kathryn stared. 

“I’ve already got the okay for you to take leave. In fact, Admiral Paris practically jumped for joy when I requested it.”

“I bet he did,” Kathryn grumbled. 

“It’ll be fun. Your mother will watch the twins while we enjoy the pleasure planet of the Federation. Phoebe even said she’d help your mother,” Chakotay said. 

“Now, I’m worried,” Kathryn laughed. 

Chakotay ran his fingers up her arm. 

“No more work until we get home,” he said. 

Kathryn smiled, “Is that an order?”

Chakotay grinned, “You bet.”

Kathryn put her coffee down on the table and looked at him with a playful smile. 

“You can’t order me, I outrank you.”

“Semantics,” Chakotay said. 

Then he pounced on her. She grabbed his head and crushed their mouths together. Kathryn laughed as Chakotay rolled on top of her, kissing her neck. 

“What if I say no?” Kathryn said. 

“I’m not taking no for an answer,” Chakotay said, “We’re going to Risa.”

Kathryn playfully squatted him and Chakotay chuckled. He pressed her body into the couch. He had missed being this close to her. 

“Let’s move this party to a place a little more comfortable,” Kathryn said. 

She pushed Chakotay off of her and got up from the couch. She grabbed his hand and dragged him into the bedroom.

 

Kathryn sat on her side of the bed, her robe wrapped tightly around her. She and Chakotay spent a romantic evening celebrating her birthday and Kathryn had to admit, being able to push work aside and just be with Chakotay was something she hadn’t been able to do in recent years. Even after their children were born. Kathryn was constantly in work mode. Something that Chakotay had noticed and tried hard to get her to set aside when she was home. She had been stubborn, as always, but sitting here now, watching him sleep, she didn’t even feel the need to check for any messages from work or finish reading the padd on Voyager’s refit. Instead, she merely stared at Chakotay’s naked form, half covered by the bed sheet as he peacefully slept. He was a very handsome man. Kathryn smiled to herself. She often reflected on how the two of them came to be.  It had to have been fate that pulled them across the galaxy together. 

 

Now, here they were, married with two children. The thought still gave her delightful chills. She had almost lost him years ago. But she quickly pushed those thoughts aside. She focused on more pleasant thoughts, on how Chakotay held their daughter in his lap as he talked to hr over subspace. Or how proud he was when he said their son, Andrew, said “da-da” as his first words. Seeing the pride and love on his face when he spoke to her made her miss him and the children so much there were times when she wanted to order the mission to a close and fly straight home. 

 

Kathryn pulled the comm unit toward her on the desk in the bedroom and opened a channel to Earth. She waited and to her surprise, found Phoebe’s face on the screen. Her sister smiled and greeted her with surprise! 

“Katie!” she said, “Happy birthday!”

“Thanks…”Kathryn said, “Where’s mom?”

“Went to bed early. Those babies of yours wore her out. Not surprising,” Phoebe teased. 

“I hope she’s not too tired,” Kathryn said. 

“Oh no, and I’m here to help. Really, I wouldn’t worry.”

“How are my babies?” Kathryn said. 

“Bundles of joy,” said Phoebe, “We took them on a picnic. They may have been too young to really  appreciate it but they laughed when birds flew overhead.” 

Kathryn smiled. 

“I just got both of them to sleep. Taya is just as stubborn as you,” Phoebe said. 

“I don’t know what you mean,” Kathryn said, feigning innocence.

Phoebe laughed, “And Andrew is a little charmer. If he grows up to be anything like his father, you’re going to be in big trouble.” 

Kathryn laughed, “ I suppose so.”

“So are you enjoying your romantic getaway?” Phoebe said. She nodded to the screen and Kathryn blushed and looked behind her. Chakotay had rolled onto his back, his face toward her, the sheet barely covered his hips. Kathryn resisted the urge to rush to the bed and pull the sheet higher to keep Phoebe from seeing too much. 

“From the looks of it, I’d say you are,” Phoebe smiled. 

“Phoebe!” Kathryn whispered. 

“Well, you deserve it! You should go to Risa, soak in the sun and spend the entire trip naked with that man,” Phoebe said. 

“Oh, Phoebe…”

“That’s what I would do,” said Phoebe. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes.

“Hey, don’t worry about me. I found an artist friend in Paris and he’s well, let’s just say, he’s fun,” Phoebe whispered and whipped around as if worried that their mother would overhear.

“Good for you.” 

“I may even keep him around a while, who knows,” Phoebe said. 

“Well, I just wanted to check on the children and she how Mom’s holding up,” Kathryn said. 

“They’re fine. Everything’s fine. Now go enjoy your birthday,” Phoebe said. 

“Call me if anything comes up, we’ll come home,” said Kathryn. 

“They’re two years old, how hard could it be,” Phoebe said and she hung up before Kathryn could respond.

Kathryn shook her head. Her sister was going to be a crazy, fun, bad influence on her son and daughter but Kathryn was grateful that she had embraced Chakotay and her children with as much love and enthusiasm as she approached anything else. 

Kathryn crawled back into bed next to Chakotay. She felt him stir as she snuggled close to him.

“Hey,” he said, his voice low and gravely from sleep. 

“Hey,” Kathryn replied. 

Chakotay could barely keep his eyes open. 

“Don’t go back to sleep,” Kathryn said in a hushed tone. 

“You wore me out,” Chakotay said with a smile. 

“Well, you better get your strength back because we’re going to Risa and I fully intend to be naked the entire trip,” she said. She was going to take a page out of Phoebe’s book and just relax during her carefree vacation with her handsome husband. 

Chakotay’s eyes were still closed but his eyebrows shot up as he smiled. 

“Sounds like a plan,” he sighed, “we leave in the morning,” he mumbled. 

Kathryn shed her robe and pulled the covers over the two of them. She spooned up against Chakotay and felt his arms wrap around her. Chakotay sighed again into her hair. It was turning out to be a great birthday, indeed. 

 

They spent their trip to Risa almost exactly as Kathryn intended it. They rented a secluded resort hut complete with its own replicator and outdoor hot spring. It was like a second honeymoon. They enjoyed the sun, good, and entertainment that Risa had to offer. Kathryn didn’t even think about checking her messages or finishing the padd of Voyager’s refit. She was having too much fun and the look on Chakotay’s face at her enjoyment was too good to let disappear. On their last night Kathryn dragged Chakotay to their hot spring and they eagerly stripped each other naked before relaxing in the steaming outdoor oasis. 

Kathryn swam around the hot spring as Chakotay propped himself up against the side, his arms on the rocks behind him. 

“This reminds me of my tub on New Earth,” Kathryn said. 

“We never shared that tub,” Chakotay said, a hint of regret in his voice. 

“No, instead you just caught me in nothing but a towel,” Kathryn said. 

“Only after you called me outside,” Chakotay said defensively. 

Kathryn swam closer to him. 

“I thought I heard something,” she said in a husky voice. 

She swam closer and Chakotay couldn’t stop the smile that crept over his face. 

“It was that damn monkey,” he said. 

Kathryn moved closer and wrapped her arms around Chakotay’s neck. He wrapped his around her waist, pulling her close. Their bodies pressed together. 

“Without him, I wouldn’t have called you and you would never have seen me in a towel,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay could feel her wrap her legs around his hips. She felt good and his hands started to roam all over her body, feeling the curve of her hips and the smoothness of her back. 

“This was a wonderful birthday surprise,” Kathryn said. 

“I’m glad,” Chakotay responded. 

Kathryn pressed her body closer to his and Chakotay felt her breasts against his chest. 

“I love you,” he said. 

Kathryn smiled and said, “I love you more.” 

“You always have to get the last word, don’t you?”

“Yes,” she said and kissed him before he could say anything more. 

Their kissed turned passionate and Chakotay felt himself stiffen. Kathryn ground her hips against him in the way she knew drove him crazy. She lifted herself up and slowly herself down onto him. When he was buried deep inside her, they both sighed. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her waist more tightly. 

“What do think, Chakotay, should we try for another baby?” Kathryn said. 

“Another?” Chakotay said surprised, “Two isn’t enough?”

“I don’t know what’s come over me, maybe it’s my birthday and getting older. I just like the thought of having another one,” she trailed off. 

“Well, if you want another baby,” Chakotay said. He gripped her hips and thrust up into her, “I’ll give you another baby.” 

Kathryn gasped and they both started to move. Kathryn lifted herself up and down and Chakotay met her thrust for thrust. Chakotay held her hips tightly, try to keep her as close as possible. He felt Kathryn panting into his neck. He turned his head to kiss her. They shared kisses, having to break apart to breathe frequently. Chakotay felt Kathryn tighten around him and knew she was close. She screamed out his name and he followed her over the edge, groaning as he emptied himself inside her. They stayed joined, boneless clinging to each other in the hot spring. Kathryn rested her head on his shoulder.

“You made me dizzy,” she said between gasped. 

Chakotay chuckled. 

Eventually, the two of them climbed out of the spring and gathered their clothes. They made their way back to their rented hideaway, occasionally bumping into each other on purpose. 


	13. Voyager Reunion

It had been two years since Voyager returned home. Tom Paris helped organize a reunion for all the Voyagers to come together again. Kathryn and Chakotay had planned on attending and although Chakotay thought it would be better to leave the twins with their grandmother, Kathryn, insisted that they bring them along. She wanted to show them off.. Although most of their closest friends had seen them, the rest of Voyager’s crew hadn’t, including Tuvok, whom Kathryn was delighted to know planned on attending the reunion. Thanks to Tom’s father, the reunion was held at Starfleet Headquarters, allowing those who travelled away from Earth to return again. They were in a smaller ballroom than the one from their Welcome Home party but it was just a crowded. Voyager crew members and their families were all over. Each carrying one of their children, Kathryn and Chakotay entered the hall. They greeted their crew, smiling as crew members congratulated them on their new family. Kathryn and Chakotay sat at a table with Tom and B’Elanna. They talked about family and Kathryn was happy to learn to see that B’Elanna was pregnant again. 

“This time, it’s a boy,” B’Elanna said. 

“It didn’t matter to me, as long as the baby was healthy,” Tom said. 

“Congratulations, B’Elanna,” Chakotay said, smiling as his old friend. 

The Doctor joined the table with his date, who he introduced as Lana. She was a nurse working with him in his lab at Starfleet Medical. Everyone was surprised to hear that The Doctor and Lana had married and Lana was also pregnant. 

“Forgive me for asking,” Tom said, “But how exactly?”

“Mister Paris, I would like I taught you something over the years as my assistant on Voyager,” The Doctor teased. 

Everyone laughed and the Doctor explained, 

“Dr. Zimmerman was kind enough to provide DNA samples.”

“It really was a fascinating procedure,” Lana said. 

Chakotay and Kathryn shared a small smile. Only the Doctor would find someone who would consider sperm donation, fascinating.   
“Well, I’m glad you’re happy, Doctor,” Kathryn said. 

“Thank you, Admiral,” The Doctor replied. 

The Doctor offered to watch the Janeway twins as Kathryn and Chakotay eyed the dance floor. 

Thanking the Doctor, Kathryn handed him Taya and Chakotay handed Andrew off to B’Elanna. 

Chakotay took Kathryn by the hand, leading her to the dance floor. The two of them ignored the press and the flashing of holoimagers as they pulled each other close. Kathryn smiled serenely as she wrapped her arms around Chakotay’s shoulders, stroking his neck. He smiled back, his hands at her waist. They swayed slowly to the music, staring into each other’s eyes. 

“They look so in love,” B’Elanna said, watching her former commanding officers slow dance. 

Tom bounced Miral on his knee and said, “They deserve it. I’m glad it worked out between them.”

“Hello Seven,” The Doctor said. He raised Taya’s tiny hand to wave at the former Borg drone. 

“Good evening,” Seven said, she was accompanied by an equally as tall and blond man in a Starfleet engineering uniform. 

Seven’s date pulled out an empty chair and Seven gracefully sat. Her date joined her at the table and smiled around at everyone. 

“This is Sven,” Seven said, “My family introduced us.” 

“Nice to meet you,” B’Elanna said. 

Sven launched into a conversation with B’Elanna about how Seven’s aunt Irene introduced the two of them when she heard Sven was interested in Borg technology not long after Voyager returned to Earth. Sven was instantly captivated and the two had been dating every since. He smiled at Seven who looked fondly back at him. Seven’s eyes fell on the dark hair boy on B’Elanna’s lap and then the dark hair girl sitting with the Doctor. 

“Lieutenant, I was unaware that you had more children,” Seven said. 

“They aren’t mine,” B’Elanna said, “But Tom and I are expecting another baby.”

“Congratulations,” Seven said. 

“These are Chakotay’s and the Admiral’s twins,” The Doctor said. 

Seven observed the twins for quite some time, before speaking. 

“Their offspring do resemble both the Admiral and Captain,” she said. 

“We refer to them as children, Seven,” the Doctor said. 

“They are, cute,” Seven said after a pause. 

The Doctor beamed at her and waved Taya’s tiny hand at Seven again. B’Elanna and Seven chat about her work with Starfleet engineering until Seven stops speaking abruptly. Her attention on the dance floor where Chakotay and Kathryn kissed as they slow danced. 

“Are you alright, Seven?” asked Tom.

“I am fine,” Seven said. After a few moments, she says, “I’m finding that I feel slightly embarrassed for pulling Chakotay away from the Admiral back on Voyager.” 

“Don’t be,” B’Elanna said, “All of you made choices. What’s done is done.”

“They do look to enjoy each other’s company immensely,” Seven said. 

“They are very much in love, if that’s what you mean,” B’Elanna said. 

Seven looked down at the little boy in B’Elanna lap and raised an eyebrow. 

B’Elanna hugged the boy to her, “He looks a lot like Chakotay doesn’t he?” 

“Indeed,” Seven agreed. 

No one noticed Chakotay and Kathryn slip from the ballroom and into the corridor. Kathryn leaned against the wall. 

“It’s so warm in there,” she said. 

“It’s nice to see everyone looking so happy,” Chakotay said. 

He trailed his eyes over her dress, admiring how it hugged her curves. He glanced down the hall, then smiled and tugged her hand.   
“What?”

Chakotay didn’t answer her as he pulled Kathryn along the corridor. He found an empty conference room and pulled her inside. Smiling, Kathryn followed him. They were barely inside before Chakotay pressed her up against the wall. He kissed her passionately, running his hands all over her body. Chakotay started kissing her neck as his hands started to push the hem of her dress up. 

“Chakotay, we could be seen,” Kathryn protested half-heartedly, her lips pressed against his ear. 

“I don’t care,” Chakotay mumbled against her neck. He nipped at the tendon there and Kathryn moaned. 

“You are such a rebel,” Kathryn said molding her body into his. 

Chakotay smiled as he pulled her panties off her. He stroked her causing her to gasp and cling to his biceps. He pushed his fingers inside her and she bit down on his uniform clad shoulder to keep herself from crying out. Kathryn’s hand flew down to Chakotay’s pants and unzipped his fly. Chakotay lifted her up, pushing her more tightly against the wall, Kathryn wrapped her legs around his waist. Chakotay entered her with a strong push and they both sighed. 

Chakotay thrust up roughly and Kathryn gasped, “Careful,” she said. 

“You okay?”

“Yes, but you don’t want to crush the baby,” she said her eyes twinkling, and knowing he couldn’t.   
Chakotay’s head snapped up and he looked at her in surprise. 

“What? You mean…you’re pregnant?” he said with a smile. 

Kathryn nodded. 

Chakotay kissed her, physically expressing his joy at having another child with the woman he loved. Chakotay started to thrust more gently this time, setting a slow pace. 

He never took his eyes off of Kathryn’s face. 

Kathryn cupped his cheek with one hand and kissed him. 

“I love you,” she said. 

Chakotay grunted in response, thrusting into her sharply. 

“My first officer…my best friend…my lover,” Kathryn said. Hert phrases met with a strong thrust into her. She paused and kissed Chakotay passionately leaving them both breathless, “my husband, the father of my children,” she finished. Chakotay groaned as she tightened her legs around his hips. The love, passion, and admiration in her eyes made his heart swell. He picked up his pace. Both of them sighing at their release. 

“Where did you two run off to?” Tom asked as Kathryn and Chakotay reentered the ballroom. 

“Nowhere,” Kathryn said. She took Andrew from B’Elanna and snuggled him close her to chest as she sat at the table. The Doctor handed off Taya to Chakotay who smiled at her as he placed her in his lap. The Doctor rushed off with Lana to the dance floor but not before being stopped by Billy Telfer and very pregnant Tal Celes. 

“He’s overreacting,” Tal said. 

“I’m not. It could Gorgictik Fever,” Billy said. 

The Doctor looked exasperated, “It’s not Gorgictik Fever,” he said. 

“It could be,” Billy said, his arm around Tal. 

“Gorgictik Fever only affects Bolians,” The Doctor said. 

“As far as we know,” Billy said. 

“Your baby does not have Gorgictik Fever,” the Doctor said, losing his patience. 

Billy opened his mouth to say something, but Tal cut him off. 

“Doctor, would you be willing to scan me, tomorrow, to prove to him that I’m fine. We’re planning on heading back to Bajor in a few days.”

“Of course, tomorrow. Stop by my office,” he said and pulled Lana to the dance floor. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes at Chakotay who chuckled as their former crewmen. 

“At least he’s not worried about himself this time,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay nodded and he watched the young couple corner Mortimer Herron. 

“May I join you?” 

“Tuvok!” Kathryn said with a huge smile, “Be my guest.”

“How are you, Tuvok?” Chakotay asked. 

“I am well, I have recovered completely from my illness,” Tuvok said. 

“I’m so glad,” Kathryn said, placing her hand briefly over the Vulcan’s, “Where’s your family?” 

“Most remain on Vulcan. The reunion coincided with Sek’s arrival on Earth. We will travel back to Vulcan together,” Tuvok said. 

Kathryn smiled at him. 

“I wanted to meet your offspring,” Tuvok said. He looked toward the sleepy boy in Kathryn’s lap and the already asleep girl nestled in her father’s arms.   
“They share a remarkable resemblance to Captain Chakotay,” Tuvok said. 

Kathryn laughed, “They do, don’t they.” 

“Perhaps they will express more of your personality traits as they mature,” Tuvok offered. 

“Let’s just hope they don’t both inherit their mother’s stubbornness. One stubborn Janeway is tough enough,” Chakotay joked. 

“Indeed,” Tuvok said, raising an eyebrow, “Allow me to offer this Vulcan prayer,” Tuvok said. 

He raised his right hand in a Vulcan salute and uttered a phrase in Vulcan. 

“It wishes your offspring fulfilling and productive lives,” he said. 

“A logical approach,” Kathryn said smiling. 

Andrew yawned in her lap, causing Kathryn to smile more. 

“I think we should get them home to bed,” she said. 

Making their final rounds and saying goodnight to the crew, Kathryn and Chakotay departed for their home. They put the twins to bed and thankfully able to keep them asleep. As the two of them lay in bed, Chakotay ran his hand over Kathryn’s stomach. 

“I wonder if it’s a boy or girl?” he said. 

“I don’t mind not knowing. It’s kind of fun, it being a surprise,” Kathryn said. 

“I would think after the Delta quadrant, you’d be sick of surprises,” said Chakotay. 

“I don’t mind this one,” she said, “Besides, I have my loyal first officer by my side.”

Chakotay smiled, “Always.”

They kissed softly, holding each other as they fell asleep.


	14. Chapter 14

Chakotay and Kathryn would often they spend their mornings sitting on a circular bench under an elm tree on the Academy’s campus. They established this morning routine early on. Chakotay and Kathryn would drop their three-year-old children at the daycare for Starfleet Command and Academy personnel and sit under their elm tree. On their first day of daycare, Kathryn cried and Chakotay felt agitated leaving their children behind. Taya had refused to let go of her mother and sobbed into her shoulder. Andrew knocked over another child’s block creation in defiance. The daycare attendants assured Kathryn and Chakotay that the children would adjust. Taya’s tear stained face look up at her father. 

“Daddy don’t go,” she said. 

Chakotay’s brow furrowed as he knelt down to her level. Taya’s small voice tugged at his heart in a way he didn’t know was possible. He rubbed her back and said, “It’s okay. We’ll be back later. You get to play with new kids today.” 

Taya buried her face in her mother’s chest. Chakotay sighed and looked for Andrew. 

“You’ll learn so much and have so much fun you won’t even notice we’re gone,” Kathryn said, stroking Taya’s hair. 

“Taya, why don’t you join Ariabelle at the clay station,” a kind faced daycare attendant said. Taya allowed herself to be pulled away from her mother but not without giving both her parents a deeply hurt look. 

Another attendant attempted to convince Andrew to apologize to the child whose block creation he destroyed but Andrew was standing next to a bookcase with his arms crossed glaring at his parents. The lead attendant turned to Kathryn and Chakotay. 

“It’s probably best you leave now. Don’t worry, kids are more resilient than you think. They’ll get used to being here,” she said. 

 

***

That was two months ago. Chakotay and Kathryn welcomed their morning routine. It gave them time to relax. Chakotay had his arm around Kathryn’s shoulders. She leaned into him, sipping her coffee and Chakotay reread his notes for his morning lecture. The pair of them received many sideways glances from passing cadets as they sat. Kathryn couldn’t understand everyone’s fascination about their love life.   
“What are you talking about today?” Kathryn asked. 

She sat up straighter and reached for the padd Chakotay was holding. 

“Ah, the Hirogen,” she said. 

“We started it last week but there have been a lot of questions,” Chakotay said. 

“Understandable,” Kathryn said. 

“We should get going,” said Chakotay. 

“I’ll walk you to your class,” Kathryn said. 

They stood together. Chakotay kept his arm around Kathryn’s shoulders. She slipped her arm around his waist. They headed toward the Academy lecture hall.

“Want to grab lunch later today?” Kathryn asked as they entered the building. 

“Love to,” Chakotay said smiling. 

They arrived at Chakotay’s lecture hall. They hung back allowing cadets to enter. A couple of them glanced toward their instructor and whispered.   
“That’s Admiral Janeway.” 

Kathryn smiled politely and pretended to ignore them. Chakotay leaned in close to her. 

“I hope it doesn’t bother you,” he said. 

“I only like it when you bother me,” Kathryn said. 

Careful not to spill her coffee all over him, Kathryn wrapped her arms around Chakotay’s neck. He lazily wrapped his around her waist and pulled her close. She kissed him and Chakotay was surprised. She wasn’t normally this affectionate in front of cadets. A few cadets tossed him smirks at their blatant PDA. 

Chakotay pulled back and smiled. 

“What was all that about?” he asked. 

Kathryn shrugged, “Am I not allowed to kiss my handsome husband?” she stated. 

“Oh, I don’t mind,” Chakotay said, “I like it when your hormones are out of control.”

“I remind you that you were the one who got me into this condition,” Kathryn said. 

“I remember quite well,” Chakotay said. 

“Pregnancy does things to your body,” she said defensively. 

To which Chakotay could only grin more. 

“You know what I mean,” Kathryn said. 

She kissed Chakotay lightly on the lips again.

“You better get in there,” she said. 

She slid her hands to his chest. 

“I’ll see you at lunch,” she said. 

Chakotay let his arms fall to his sides but not before allowing the tips of his fingers caress her backside. Kathryn shivered and shot him a seductive look. Chakotay flashed a dimpled smile at her and walked into his class. 

Lecturing always made the day go by faster, which was especially good because he found himself thinking about Kathryn, as he often did. He looked forward to lunch. He made it back to his office with enough time to begin grading papers before his lunch date with Kathryn. He was reading through a particularly well-written essay about Hirogen hunting practices when the door to his office flew open. Startled, Chakotay jumped. Kathryn burst through, smiling. 

“Kathryn,” Chakotay said, “I was going to come by your office to pick you up.” 

“Trust me, this is better,” she said as she closed the door behind her. 

“Computer lock office doors,” she said. 

With an audible click the computer acknowledged the doors were locked. 

“What?” Chakotay asked. 

Kathryn spun his chair around and silenced him with a searing kiss. She climbed onto his lap and Chakotay chuckled, breaking the kiss.   
“You’re right,” he said, “this is much better.” 

Kathryn laughed too. She ran her fingers through his hair. 

“Why don’t we have a late lunch?” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay kissed her as his answer. He lifted her up and urgently placed Kathryn on his desk. Chakotay stood, pressing himself between her legs. Their kisses were feverish. Kathryn unzipped Chakotay’s jacket and ran her hands over his chest.   
“Chakotay,” she sighed into his mouth. 

Chakotay crushed his lips to hers again. Their kisses passionate and their tongues dueled as Chakotay ran his hands down to Kathryn’s hips  
.   
“We don’t have much time,” Chakotay said as he moved to kiss her neck. 

His hands pulled her pants down and Kathryn kicked her clothing away. She gasped as Chakotay slid a finger into her, then another. He pumped his fingers in and out of her as Kathryn gasped into his neck. Chakotay nipped at her neck before removing his fingers. He quickly unzipped his pants to pull out his aching cock. Kathryn clung to his neck as Chakotay pushed himself inside her. He started to move, careful not to thrust too hard, despite his body’s urge to move faster, harder. He didn’t want to risk hurting their baby. He captured Kathryn’s lips with his again and moved one hand to squeeze her breast. She arched against him, her fingers were in his hair again. Chakotay could feel her muscles tightening around him and he picked up his pace. Kathryn broke their kiss and gasped his name. 

“Come on, baby,” Chakotay said. He rubbed her and just a few strokes later, her muscles clenched around him squeezing him tightly. She bit into his shoulder to keep from screaming. Chakotay felt himself fall over the edge and his groan was muffled against her neck. They panted, clinging to each other as they tried to calm their trembling bodies. 

“Chakotay” Kathryn said, once she had her breathing under control. She held his head where he rested it against her shoulder. There was no response and Kathryn said his name again.

“Hmmm,” he said, not moving. 

“I’m hungry,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay mumbled something into her neck and she chuckled. 

“What?”

Chakotay finally lifted his head. His hair looked adorably disheveled. 

“I said I have office hours soon,” he said.

“We can replicate food here,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay pulled away from her and tucked himself back into his pants. He righted his clothes and bent to retrieve Kathryn’s. He slid her panties and pants up her legs. She lifted her hips to allow him to put them back on. Kathryn dropped down from the desk and finished dressing. Chakotay went to the replicator and ordered lunch. They ate in relative silence sharing knowing glances and secretive smiles at each other.   
“Okay, what was all that about?” Chakotay said. 

Without meeting his eyes and blushing slightly, Kathryn said, “Well, let’s just say, you bothered me more than I thought this morning.” 

Chakotay burst out laughing. They finished eating and Kathryn recycled their trays. 

“Can you pick up the twins, I have a late afternoon meeting?” said Kathryn.

“Sure,” nodded Chakotay, still smiling with the smug satisfaction that he could work her up so much she came over for a quickie in his office. As if reading his mind, Kathryn shook her head and rolled her eyes at him. 

“I better get back to my office,” she said. 

She stood in front of Chakotay and zipped up his uniform jacket, her crooked smile caused his stomach to do flip-flops. There was a knock on his office door and Chakotay unlocked it with a push of a button on a panel on his desk. 

“Enter,” he said. 

A cadet opened the door, opened her mouth to speak and promptly froze at the sight of Admiral Janeway. 

“Come in, cadet,” Kathryn said. She smiled at the girl as she passed. At the door, Kathryn turned back and said, “Oh, Captain….thanks for lunch.”  
She winked and exited the room, laughing quietly at Chakotay’s embarrassed smile. 

Chakotay entered the daycare, glad that his day was finally over. Despite his thoroughly enjoyable lunch date with Kathryn, the afternoon was busy and he was grateful to escape the hustle and bustle of the Academy. 

“Chakotay,” a familiar voice called. 

B’Elanna came up to him, Miral following behind. 

“Hi,” he said, hugging B’Elanna.

“You look good,” she said, smiling. 

A quickie during lunch helps, Chakotay thought. 

“Just glad the day is over,” he said. 

“Tell me about it,” she said. 

Chakotay waved to Miral who grabbed her mother’s hand. He looked around the daycare and spotted his twins coloring at a tiny table. The daycare attendant caught his eye and obviously said something to his children because they both turned around to find him. They smiled at him and Chakotay couldn’t stop himself from smiling back. 

“Daddy,” Taya shouted. 

She got up from the table and ran toward him. Chakotay knelt to scoop her into his arms and she hugged him tightly. He carried Taya back to the table to see what her brother was coloring. His son held up his drawing, an awkwardly colored stick figure family. 

Chakotay smiled, “That’s great Andrew.”

“It’s for mommy,” Andrew said. 

Chakotay sighed, of course it was. He smiled at his son.

“She’ll love it,” he said. 

Andrew got up from his tiny chair, clutching his drawing. 

“Ready to go?” Chakotay asked, “We have to go get mommy.”

The twins nodded and Andrew followed his father to the daycare entrance where B’Elanna and Miral stood waiting.   
“How’s the Admiral,” B’Elanna said. 

“Wonderful,” Chakotay said, remembering their playful banter from earlier that morning.   
“Morning sickness finally over?” B’Elanna asked. 

“Seems like it,” Chakotay said.

Andrew took his father’s hand as the little group left the daycare facility. 

“Want to grab Tom and come over for dinner tonight?” Chakotay asked, it had been a while since he’d seen the entire Paris family. 

“Love to, but we’re visiting Grandma and Grandpa tonight,” B’Elanna said. She lifted Miral into her arms, “Ready to go get Daddy?” she asked her daughter.

“Yes,” Miral nodded. 

“Another time then,” Chakotay said. 

“Definitely. I’ll contact you tomorrow and we’ll set up a time. I miss you old man,” she teased. B’Elanna leaned in and kissed Chakotay on the cheek, “See you later. Say bye Miral.”

“Bye bye,” Miral said in a tiny voice.

“Bye,” Taya answered. 

Andrew waved his drawing at B’Elanna’s retreating back. 

“Let’s go find mommy,” Chakotay said. 

The trio entered a turbolift and rode it to the fifteenth floor. Andrew burst out of the lift with Chakotay following close behind. Kathryn’s aide, Decan, said that she was still in a meeting down the hall in conference room B. He pointed in the direction of the room. Chakotay had planned to wait in Kathryn’s office and set Taya down to stand next to him, however Andrew took off deciding to look for his mother on his own, and Chakotay took Taya’s hand and followed his son. Andrew whipped around a corner. 

“Andrew, get back here,” Chakotay called. 

Chakotay hurried around the corner as fast as her could with Taya following behind him. Andrew had his face plastered to the glass wall of the conference room. He smiled and waved at his mother. Chakotay picked Taya up and walked toward Andrew. The admirals inside the conference room tried to suppress their smiles as Andrew displayed his drawing upside down on the glass. Kathryn waved and beamed at her son. The admiral leading the meeting, a John Grayson, if Chakotay remembered correctly, decided that it was time to wrap up and everyone left the room. A few admirals greeted Chakotay as they passed him. Kathryn exited the hall and Andrew immediately flew into her arms. 

“Look,” he said and help up his drawing. 

“Is that for me?” Kathryn said. 

Andrew nodded. 

“Well, let’s go hang it up in my office,” Kathryn said. She reached for Andrew’s hand and her son eagerly took it. 

“Hi,” Kathryn said to Chakotay, eyeing him up and down. Chakotay knew she was thinking about their lunch date. 

She kissed Chakotay and rubbed Taya’s back as she smiled at her daughter. 

“I saw B’Elanna at daycare,” Chakotay said, “told her we should have dinner soon.” 

“We should. I miss them,” Kathryn said, “All of them.” 

Chakotay knew what she meant. She had talked of little else recently. The next Voyager reunion was coming up in a few months. He knew she was anxious to see how her crew was doing. They walked to her office and Decan stood as they entered.   
“Decan, go home,” Kathryn said. 

“My shift ends when you leave for the day, Admiral,” Decan said. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes at Chakotay. As they entered her office, Andrew quickly asked where they could hang his drawing. Chakotay sat on the couch with Taya on his lap. He smiled as he watched Kathryn hung the drawing on the wall near the replicator. 

When they were finally ready to leave, Kathryn and Chakotay walked a step behind their children as they walked through the Academy grounds.   
“It was nice of you to hang his drawing up,” Chakotay said, “he was clearly proud of it.” 

“Of course I would,” Kathryn said. 

The twins held hands as they walked along a path through a garden. Kathryn smiled up at Chakotay and linked her arm with his. They took the tram back to their neighborhood, Andrew staring out the window admiring the train’s speed. Finally home, Kathryn collapsed on the couch.   
“Mommy, read to me,” Taya said. She brought over a padd and climbed on the couch and snuggled next to her mother. Kathryn took the padd from her daughter. 

“Let’s see what trouble Flotter will get into this time,” Kathryn said. 

“I’ll start dinner,” Chakotay said. 

Andrew climbed onto the couch to sit on his mother’s other side. Chakotay listed to his children laugh at Flotter’s antics. He felt his heart swell with love and affection for his growing family. He still couldn’t believe how lucky he was. 

Chakotay was in the middle of a lively discussion with his group of cadets about the decision to give holographic technology to the Hirogen when Kathryn’s aide burst into the lecture hall. The young Vulcan calmly but quickly walked down the lecture hall stairs. 

“Captain, I apologize for the intrusion,” Decan said. 

“What is it?”

“It’s Admiral Janeway, sir. She collapsed in her office. I called for an emergency transport to Starfleet Medical. 

“Class dismissed,” Chakotay said to the lecture hall. He frantically gathered his padds from the podium and rushed up the hall stairs. 

“Tell me everything,” he ordered Decan who followed. 

Decan explained that Kathryn had collapsed and being unfamiliar with human pregnancy, contacted Voyager’s EMH for assistance. She was transported to Starfleet Medical under the Doctor’s care. 

Chakotay arrived at Starfleet Medical and was instructed where the Doctor was treating Kathryn. Chakotay waited in the corridor and greatly annoyed Decan as he went from pacing back and forth outside the room where the Doctor worked to sitting and drumming his fingers against his leg, then jumping again to pace. Chakotay froze as the Doctor exited the exam room. He forgot to breath as he waited for the Doctor to speak.   
“She’s fine,” The Doctor said. 

Chakotay sighed in relief and ran his hand over his face. 

“I did have to induce labor,” The Doctor said. 

“What? But she’s not due for weeks,” Chakotay said. 

The Doctor placed his hands on Chakotay’s shoulders to keep from starting to pace again. 

“The Admiral is fine. She experienced complications and I had to induce labor to give both the baby and the Admiral a fighting chance. The Admiral will be fine but I want keep her here for observation for a while,” The Doctor said. 

“And the baby?” Chakotay croaked out, barely audible. He could tell the Doctor could hear the fear in his voice. 

“He’s alive but he will have to remain here as well. I need to monitor his vitals closely.”

“Can I see them?” Chakotay said. 

“Of course,” The Doctor led the way into the exam room and Chakotay followed. 

Kathryn lay on a biobed and Chakotay rushed over to her. He rested his forehead against hers and grabbed her hand.   
“Kathryn,” he said. 

“She’s asleep,” the Doctor stated. 

Chakotay kissed Kathryn’s forehead, then her hand and looked up at the Doctor. 

“Over here, Chakotay,” he said. 

Chakotay joined the Doctor on the other side of the biobed to see the tiny infant in the incubation chamber. Chakotay stared at the tiny pink boy. He had the smallest health monitoring instruments on him that Chakotay had ever seen. The Doctor was explaining what had happened but Chakotay barely heard him. He reached through the opening of the chamber and stroked a finger down his son’s chest. 

“I’m confident that he will make a full recovery and will mature normally,” The Doctor said. 

“What? Oh, thank you Doctor,” Chakotay said, not taking his eyes off his son. 

Kathryn stirred behind them and both Chakotay and the Doctor whipped around. The Doctor pulled out a medical tricorder and began scanning her. Chakotay grabbed her hand. He pulled her hand to his lips and kissed it, allowing tears to fall onto her knuckles.   
“The baby?” Kathryn asked. 

Chakotay hadn’t realized he was crying. 

“Alive,” was all he could say, before burying his face into Kathryn’s neck, kissing her softly. 

“He’s going to have to remain here for quite some time, same goes for you,” The Doctor said, Rest assured, I won’t deactivate my program until both of you have made a full recovery.”

“He? It’s a boy?” Kathryn said, tears forming in her own eyes and she lifted her head off the biobed to look at the newborn in the incubation chamber.   
“Yes, it’s a boy,” The Doctor confirmed. 

Exhausted, Kathryn fell back onto the biobed and fell asleep. 

“She’s going to need to get some rest,” The Doctor said. 

“I’m not leaving her,” Chakotay said. 

“You don’t have to, but you should wait outside,” The Doctor said. 

Chakotay started to protest but the Doctor stopped him, “I promise, I will notify you at the slightest change.”

Reluctantly, Chakotay let the Doctor push him from the room. Chakotay returned to his seat next to Decan. They sat in silence for several moments before Decan spoke. 

“I have taken the liberty of contacting the Admiral’s family. Her sister will pick up your other children from the daycare facility and the Admiral’s mother will be arriving shortly.”

“Thank you,” was all Chakotay could manage. 

“I hope you do not mind, Captain, but I would like to stay and offer the Admiral my support,” the Vulcan said. 

Chakotay looked at him. He reminded Chakotay strongly of Vorik and he wondered briefly if the two were related. Chakotay clapped Decan on the shoulder and nodded, offering him a faint smile. Chakotay folded his hand in his lap and closed his eyes. He wasn’t sure if he could summon the spirits of his ancestors without his a-koon-na but he needed to try. He could picture his mother and father in his mind’s eye.   
“What do I do?” he asked them. 

“You must be strong for both of them,” His father said. 

“Your beloved and your son, they both need you,” his mother said. She touched his cheek. 

“All will be as it should,” she said. 

Chakotay snapped out of his vision when Gretchen Janeway arrived.

“How is she?” she said immediately when she saw Chakotay. 

“She’s fine, the Doctor said she’ll make a full recovery.” 

Gretchen smiled in relief, her hand over her heart. She placed a hand on Chakotay’s arm and said, “And the baby?”

“Still fighting,” Chakotay said. 

The Doctor exited the exam room and beckons them inside. 

Kathryn was awake, Chakotay allowed her mother to go to her as he went to his son’s side. He placed his hand on the chamber and stared at him, watching his son’s chest rise and fall with each breath. 

“Do you think we did anything wrong?” Kathryn asked. 

Chakotay looked over to the Doctor to hear his response. 

“No, you did nothing wrong. Sometimes these things just happen. It’s rare with all the modern technology we have today, but you did nothing wrong,” he assured Kathryn. 

Gretchen stroked her daughter’s hair and Chakotay was so grateful to have her in both their lives.   
“What should we call him?” He asked Kathryn, “You choose.”

After a moment, Kathryn said, “Edward O’Donnell.”

“An old family name,” Gretchen said smiling. 

Chakotay smiled down at his son. 

“Hear that, Edward, you have a lot to live up to, so keep fighting,” he whispered. 

“If he’s anything like his namesake, he’ll pull through,” Gretchen said. 

After four weeks, The Doctor says that Edward was ready to go home. Chakotay felt relieved for the first time in weeks. Even though Kathryn had recovered more quickly, he was still worried until they made it home. Gretchen, Phoebe, and Phoebe’s fiancé Joshua, were babysitting Andrew and Taya. Kathryn sat on the couch, as Chakotay hugged Gretchen for everything she’d done. 

“Oh look at the little guy,” Phoebe said, leaning next to her sister to get a better look at her new nephew, “he’s adorable. He looks so much like you, Chakotay.”

Chakotay smiled proudly, “with his mother’s bright blue eyes.”

After sufficient oo’s and ah’s around the baby, Phoebe, Joshua, and Gretchen left to give quality time with Edward. Chakotay suspected they were all grateful to get away from their toddlers. As Kathryn sat on the couch, Chakotay introduced Andrew and Taya to their younger brother. Both twins were cautious and curious as they looked at him. Edward stared up at his mother who smiled down at him. Taya held out her teddy bear and dropped in on Edward. Startled, Edward started to cry. Taya looked confused and scared, “I’m sorry,” she said. 

“That’s okay. He’s just too young to understand that you’re trying to share. We’ll try again when he’s a little older,” Chakotay said. Kathryn removed the bear and comforted her crying son. 

Chakotay and Kathryn kept Edward with them in bed after putting the twins to sleep. They stared at their miracle baby between them.   
“I don’t know about you, but I can’t handle another one,” Kathryn said. 

Chakotay smiled and stroked Kathryn’s cheek, “Three is more than enough for me,” he said. 

They share a sweet kiss and Chakotay placed a large hand over his son’s body. The baby calmed and drifted off to sleep. Chakotay and Kathryn following soon after.


	15. Sometimes Family is All You Need

Chakotay stood on the porch at his mother-in-law’s house in Indiana. They were spending the weekend with Gretchen. It was something everyone was looking forward too for weeks. Chakotay watched as his five year old son Edward sat on his grandmother’s lap underneath a tree. His eight-year-old twins were playing tag with their Aunt and new uncle, Joshua. Chakotay smiled as he watched. He jumped slightly as a hand slip up his back. He turned to find Kathryn. 

“You’re finally here,” he said, gathering her into his arms. 

Kathryn kissed him.   
“The meeting ran longer than I would have liked,” she said. 

Chakotay let go of her and Kathryn stood next to her husband. Chakotay went back to watching his children play. Kathryn brushed his hair by his temple. 

“My angry warrior is going gray,” she said with an affectionate smile. 

“He went gray a long time ago,” Chakotay said, after a pause he added, “Just hid it for a while, as he was trying to win over a Starfleet Captain.”

“It worked out in the end, didn’t it?” Kathryn laughed.

She slipped in front of him and Chakotay perched her on the porch railing. Kathryn wrapped her arms around his neck and Chakotay stepped in between her legs.

“I love you,” she said, gazing into his face. She traced his tattoo with her fingers. 

“I love you too,” Chakotay sighed with contentment.

Kathryn pulled his face closer to hers and kissed him. It was passionate, like all of their kisses, if short lived.   
“Ew, they’re kissing,” Andrew cried out. 

Kathryn couldn’t help but laugh. Chakotay chuckled as they broke apart. 

“Yes, ew!” Phoebe sneered. 

Kathryn rolled her eyes at her sister and grabbed Chakotay for another kiss. Andrew covered his eyes and groaned. Phoebe took the opportunity to tag him.   
“Hey, no fair,” Andrew shouted and chased after her. 

With Chakotay’s hand in hers, Kathryn leads the way off the porch to join everyone in the yard. Edward got up from his grandmother’s lap and ran toward his mother. He tripped but picked himself up determined to get to her. Chakotay marveled at the similarities between mother and son. Their determination and fighting spirit has created a strong bond between them. Kathryn picked up Edward and cuddled him close. Taya broke away from the game of tag to hug her mother too, then grabbed Chakotay’s hand and dragged him out to play. Chakotay picked his daughter up and spun her around in air. She shrieked with exhilaration. 

Kathryn sat next to her mother under the tree and watched as Edward ran to join his brother in the game of tag.   
“You have a beautiful family, Kathryn,” Gretchen said. 

Kathryn smiled, “There were times when I didn’t think I would ever have children.”

“Well, you met the right man. Chakotay adores you,” her mother said. 

“He says fate brought us together,” said Kathryn. 

“I believe it,” Gretchen said. 

Kathryn’s heart skipped a beat as she watched Chakotay play-wrestle with Andrew. Andrew laughed as he tried to jump onto Chakotay’s back. He’s going to be sore tomorrow, Kathryn thought.

“You’ve found your opposite,” Gretchen said. 

Kathryn looked at her mother, “What do you mean?”

“Chakotay is so different from you. He left Starfleet, he’s more spiritual and not tied down to rules as much as you are. The two of you complement each other. A true pair,” Gretchen said. 

“I think it’s more of our time together in the Delta quadrant,” Kathryn said. 

“Maybe, but all I’m saying is that I’m beyond happy for you,” said Gretchen. 

Kathryn hugged her mother. She was right, of course. Of all the people she had spent time with in the Delta quadrant, Chakotay was the only one where there was a spark. It was more intense than anything she felt for Mark and if she was completely honest with herself she wasn’t sure if she was completely happy with Mark. Kathryn brushed the thought aside. She hadn’t thought of Mark in a long time. It was the past and one thing that Chakotay had taught her was to live in the present. 

Kathryn watched Chakotay carry Edward on his back as Phoebe and Joshua chased the twins. Chakotay spun around, Edward clung tightly to him, his arms around his father’s neck. Chakotay smiled at Kathryn and Edward’s big blue eyes locked with hers. Kathryn’s heart swelled and she smiled back. All her life she had been so focused on science and a career in Starfleet, it was everything she had worked for. When she was given command of Voyager, she felt that life couldn’t get any better. Then she was thrown into the Delta quadrant and her whole life changed. At multiple times she questioned her career, her relationships, and when she finally arrived home, everything had changed again. She thought that she would miss exploration and being in space but her life on Earth with Chakotay was its own kind of adventure. Having a family was something she had always wanted but thought impossible and now she couldn’t image a day without her children or Chakotay. She found herself in a state of restful peace.


	16. Coming of Age

“I want to go too!” Edward said, “It’s not fair! Why can they go but I can’t?” 

Edward glared from the kitchen. He watched his sister drag a duffel bag to the front door. 

“You’ll go in a few years and it will be just you and your father,” Kathryn said. 

“I want to go now,” Edward said. He crossed his arms and his blue eyes flashed toward his father. 

Chakotay sighed. 

“This is a coming of age ceremony, Eddie, I’ve explained this to you,” said Chakotay. 

“It’s not fair they both get to go,” Edward said. 

Kathryn was at a loss. Both she and Chakotay explained to their youngest child that the trip to Dorvan was to complete the same ceremony Chakotay did when he reached fifteen. Chakotay and Kathryn shared an exasperated look. Taya dropped her bag by the door and turned to her younger brother.   
“You’ll get to go with Dad in three years and you’ll be all by yourself,” Taya said. 

Edward didn’t say anything but continued to glare. Chakotay had always said that Edward was more like Kathryn than their other two children. Kathryn had to agree with him. Edward was stubborn, definitely a Janeway trait. 

“You can spend time with me, Eddie. I’ve been looking forward to spending time alone with you,” Kathryn said. 

Edward’s glare softened and Kathryn knew she had won. Edward let his mother wrap her arm around his shoulders. 

Andrew bounded up to the front door, a huge energetic smile on his face. Kathryn knew he had been looking forward to his trip for months. He, like his sister, had grown so much. His dark hair and eyes resembled his father greatly. Both had dashing smiles with dimples. Taya was more like her father in her calm demeanor and abundance of patience. Her features were softer than her brother’s. Her dark hair reached her shoulders and she had her mother’s crooked smile. She waited patiently by the door next to her father. Andrew went to his brother and playfully punched his arm.   
“I’ll tell you all about it,” he said smiling. 

“We should go,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn squeezed Edward’s shoulders then went to the door. She hugged her daughter and son, pausing to hold Andrew’s face.   
“Behave yourself,” she warned. 

Chakotay smiled and shared a long look with Kathryn. He shook his head and Kathryn knew what he was thinking. Captain Janeway was showing herself again. She often did when Andrew misbehaved. Both Chakotay and Kathryn his mischievous spirit from his Aunt Phoebe. 

“Let’s go!” Andrew said, pulling away from his mother and grabbing his bag. He was out the door, his twin following him before Kathryn could say another word. Chakotay gathered his wife into his arms. Kathryn wrapped her arms in their familiar place around his neck.   
“Have fun,” Kathryn said. 

“I plan on it,” said Chakotay. 

Kathryn leaned up and kissed him. She could almost feel Edward roll his eyes at the two of them. Kathryn pulled back. She watched as Chakotay motioned to his son and Edward reluctantly stepped forward. Chakotay placed a hand on Edward’s cheek.   
“Take care of your mother,” he said. 

Edward did roll his eyes and Chakotay smiled. Kathryn pulled Chakotay back to her and kissed him again.   
“Let me know when you get there,” she said. 

“I will.”

Chakotay held her hand for a moment, “See you soon.” 

He dropped her hand and left. 

Kathryn spent the next week with her youngest child. They went to a Parrises Square match and a tour of Starfleet Academy. This cheered Edward up enormously. He was fascinated with Starfleet and her stories of captaining Voyager. They attended a lecture on diplomatic relations, which Edward talked about the entire way home. Kathryn was relieved that Edward was able to get past his jealousy over his siblings’ trip to Dorvan. In fact he said over dinner the night before they were due to come home that he was looking forward to hearing about their trip. Chakotay sent a message detailing their return and Kathryn was looking forward to her husband’s arrival. He said that both Taya and Andrew completed the coming of age ceremony but didn’t go into detail. Kathryn sat on the couch reviewing work orders for the refit of a damaged starship and turned when the door opened.   
Taya came though smiling at her mother. 

“Hi!” she said. 

“Hi,” said Kathryn, setting her padd down on the coffee table and stood up.

Chakotay followed his daughter inside, beaming at Kathryn as he set his bag down on their dining table. He went straight for Kathryn and pulled her close. They hugged each other tightly. 

“It’s good to see you,” he said. 

Andrew entered and Kathryn pulled away from Chakotay. Andrew smiled at his mother. He proudly stood before her, a tattoo to match is father’s over his left eye. Kathryn smiled at her son. Then turned to Chakotay who looked immensely proud. 

“Did you have a nice time?” Kathryn asked. 

“Amazing,” Taya said. 

“Where’s Eddie? I want to tell him all about it,” Andrew said. 

“In his room,” Kathryn said. 

Taya raced up the stairs, Andrew following her, eager to talk to their brother. 

Alone with her husband, Kathryn pulled Chakotay to the couch. 

“Tell me all about it,” she said as they sat. Kathryn tucked her feet under her and she listened to Chakotay. 

Chakotay smiled as he recounted their trip. He told Kathryn all about the time they spent with his sister, how he helped guide his children on their first vision quest. How Andrew and Taya completed the ritual and how proud he felt when chose to take the tattoo of his people. Kathryn felt his pride and she smiled. 

“I don’t think Taya wanted to mess up her beautiful face,” Chakotay said with a dimpled smile. 

Kathryn cupped his face and traced his tattoo. 

“She'd be beautiful even if the tattoo on her face," said Kathryn, "I’ve missed you,” she said. 

“I missed you too.”

Chakotay moved close to his beloved Kathryn. 

“How was your week with Eddie?” Chakotay said, still inching closer. 

“Fine,” Kathryn whispered. 

She placed her hands on his chest and could feel his heart pounding. He was so close she should smell his aftershave. Kathryn slid her hands up to his neck. 

“I’m glad,” Chakotay said, breathless. 

And before Kathryn could respond, Chakotay captured her lips with his. Kathryn stretched out on the couch and Chakotay lay on top of her, pressing her into it. Their kisses became more passionate. Chakotay ran his hands up and down her body. 

“Ugh, get a room,” Taya said. 

Neither Kathryn nor Chakotay heard their daughter come back downstairs. Chakotay sat up and shot his daughter a sly look. Kathryn smiled. Taya went into the kitchen and came back with a steaming mug.

“That better not be coffee this late,” Chakotay warned. 

“It’s not,” Taya said. She flashed a guilty smiled and raced back upstairs. 

“Like mother like daughter,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn chuckled and stood. She took Chakotay’s hand and led him upstairs. She tossed a sultry glance over his shoulder that made him smile.


	17. The Nest is Emptying

Kathryn and Chakotay lay in bed. Chakotay wrapped his arms around her. 

“Can you believe it?” Kathryn said, “Andrew will be attending Starfleet Academy tomorrow.”

Chakotay could hear the pride and excitement in her voice but there was something else. 

“You don’t want him to leave,” Chakotay teased. 

“I understand that he’s growing up and that this is something he wants but it doesn’t mean I have to like it,” Kathryn said, “And Taya is leaving too. It’s all happening so fast.”

“They’ll still be in California.”

“I know.” 

Chakotay propped himself up and pressed his cheek against hers. 

“Don’t worry. Andrew will be near my office and just across the courtyard from you.”

Kathryn didn’t answer. She just grabbed one of Chakotay’s hands and held it between hers. 

“Eddie will still be here,” 

“For a while, he wants to join Starfleet too,” 

“Is that so bad?” Chakotay laughed. 

“No…”

“But?”

“Part of me is disappointed that Taya didn’t want to join. Is that selfish?” Kathryn asked. 

“Maybe a little,” Chakotay admitted, “but she has to follow her own path. She’s your only daughter and I can understand why you’d want her to follow in your footsteps.”

Kathryn rolled over to face Chakotay. She placed a hand on his cheek. 

“I do want that,” Kathryn said. 

“She is. In her own way,” Chakotay said. He ran his hand up and down her back. 

“She’s intelligent, driven, and just as stubborn as you. Whatever she chooses she’ll do in total Janeway fashion”

“That’s not quite what I meant.” 

“I know,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn sighed and rolled onto her stomach. Chakotay continued to run his hand down her back, sliding lower on each caress. 

“You’re disappointed Andrew doesn’t want to follow the command path,” Chakotay chuckled. 

“Aren’t you?”

“Not all cadets can be a captain of a starship,” he laughed. 

“He spent too much time with Tom Paris growing up,” Kathryn said. 

“You don’t believe that.”

“Well, I certainly blame Tom for piquing his interest in starship design.”

“I think you’re just not ready for our babies to leave the nest,” Chakotay said. 

He rolled closer to her, his leg draped over the back of hers. 

“You’d think I’d be used to it, after having to let go of the crew.”

“That’s a little different. He’ll have the time of his life just like we did,” Chakotay said. 

“Taya will be even farther away,” Kathryn said. 

“Nothing a transporter station can’t take care of,” said Chakotay. 

“I won’t be there to help her through...anything,” Kathryn said unable to find the right words.

“How do you know she won’t come looking for you? You two share everything,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn rolled onto her side, facing away from her husband. Chakotay spooned up behind her, pressing his body close.   
“Try to get some rest,” he said, “We have to get up early.”

Kathryn was restless all night. Chakotay was right. She wasn’t ready for her children to leave. She loved being a mother. She knew she would never stop being one but having her two oldest children not with her everyday, that upset her. Chakotay had said it would get easier but she wasn’t sure and she sure as hell didn’t have to like it. Morning came too quickly. Chakotay woke before her and woke her by kissing her neck. 

Andrew was already up. He was packing while eating a piece of toast. Chakotay insisted that they have a real breakfast before they moved Andrew into his Academy dorm. Kathryn had to rouse an extremely sleepy Edward who could barely keep his eyes open while he sat at the dining table.   
Andrew as piling his plate with fruit when he asked his sister when she would be starting school. 

“Next week. They have an entire week for first years to get to know the university and the city. I can’t wait,” Taya said excitedly. She held her cup of coffee to her lips.

“What are you going to study?” Edward yawned, finally awake enough to pour himself a glass of orange juice. 

“Botany,” Taya said, “I’ve told you a hundred times.”

“I forgot,” Edward replied. 

Botany, Kathryn thought. Where did she develop an interest in that? Neither she nor Chakotay spend much time gardening, unless you counted the small row on Talaxian tomatoes they had growing in a container on their balcony. Kathryn had gained an appreciation for gardening on New Earth but never committed the time to seriously study the subject. She was lost in thought and was jolted back to reality when Andrew stood up.

“Come on, let’s go,” he said. He couldn’t hide his eagerness. 

“Let me finish eating,” Chakotay said with a smile. 

“I’m going to finish packing,” Andrew said. 

“I’ll help,” said his twin and they left for his bedroom. 

Kathryn and Chakotay finished cleaning up the dishes when Andrew came out of his bedroom, his sister in tow, clutching her coffee. Kathryn finished the last of her coffee, 

“Alright, ready?” she said. 

“Yeah,” Andrew smiled. He beamed at her, his dimples flashed. Kathryn couldn’t help but smile back. He looked so much like his father.   
“Say goodbye to your brother and sister,” Chakotay said, picking up one of Andrew’s bags. 

Andrew hugged his sister tightly. She whispered something in his ear and Andrew smiled. Andrew pulled Edward off the couch, where he had flopped down after breakfast. He wrapped around his shoulders. 

“You’ll have to come visit. I’ll show you around,” Andrew said. 

He knew full well that Edward knew Starfleet Academy as well as he did, having spent as much time there with his mother and father as Andrew did.   
Edward yawned and nodded. Andrew grinned and when he let go of his brother, Edward, flopped back down on the couch.   
“Ready?” Chakotay said. 

Andrew grabbed his other bag and bounded out the door. Chakotay stood in the doorway. Kathryn turned to Taya,   
“Make sure he doesn’t sleep all day,” she said nodding to her sleeping teenage son on the couch. Taya looked at her brother and rolled her eyes.   
“Let’s go,” Andrew called from the hallway. 

“See you later,” Kathryn said to her daughter and followed Chakotay out letting the door shut behind her. 

The halls of Starfleet Academy were busy. They usually were but it was even more hectic than normal with first years and returning students moving into the dorms. Kathryn was used to the double takes and second glances by now and she was certainly receiving a lot of them today. Chakotay wrapped his arm around his wife’s shoulders and Captain and Admiral followed their son to his dorm room. Andrew was a full ten paces ahead of them. Chakotay smiled at Kathryn, amused at their son’s excitement. Kathryn smiled back, Andrew’s excitement was infectious. Andrew found his room and Chakotay and Kathryn followed him in. He had already thrown his bag on one of the beds. Chakotay set Andrew’s other bag on the desk. Kathryn started to help him unpack. Andrew looked around the dorm. It was sparse, only the essentials, but it was Starfleet Academy. Kathryn pulled photos out from Andrew’s bag. Kathryn placed each framed photos on his desk. There was one of the three Janeway children. It was from the most recent Voyager reunion. Taya and Edward sat at a table while Andrew leaned over behind them, his arms around their shoulders. Another photo was of Andrew and her at the party for his acceptance into Starfleet Academy. She had her hand on his chest as Andrew smiled proudly. The next photo was the entire family on vacation. They went with Phoebe and Joshua and their children. And the last photo was of Andrew and his father. It was taken at the coming of age ceremony on Dorvan. With their matching tattoos, Chakotay had his arm around his son, an expression of extreme pride on his face. They had identical smiles. Kathryn sniffed as she touched the photo. 

“Mom,” Andrew said. 

Kathryn placed the photo on the desk and turned. 

“Are you okay?” Andrew asked. 

“I’m fine,” Kathryn said smiling. 

Andrew seemed satisfied with her answer and leaned over the desk to look outside the small window. 

“Did you see this view?” he said. 

Kathryn walked over to Chakotay’s side. She clutched his arm. Allowing herself to sigh into his shoulder. Chakotay rubbed her back as Andrew turned around. 

“Mom, I’m not going to be that far away,” he said, “Look,” Andrew pointed out the window, “I can see your office.”

Kathryn kicked herself, when had she become so emotional? She was a Starfleet Admiral. She had to pull herself together.

“I’m fine, honey,” Kathryn said, “It’s just a change.”

Kathryn clutched Chakotay’s arm and straightened up. Eager for a change of subject, Chakotay asked,   
“Do you know who your roommate will be yet?”

“No,” Andrew said. As he spoke the door to the dorm opened and a boy with strawberry blond hair came through. He carried a bag over his shoulder. He looked quiet but held himself with confidence. 

“Hi,” Andrew said. Andrew had been more outgoing that Kathryn ever was at that age. It was easy for him to make friends. 

The blond boy set his bag down. 

“Hi,” he said. 

“This is it,” a voice said from the hall. 

Kathryn turned. 

“Jean-Luc,” she said in surprise. 

Jean-Luc Picard looked toward her, “Admiral Janeway,” he said equally surprised. 

“I had no idea your son was planning on attending the Academy,” he said. 

“Same goes for you,” said Kathryn. 

Kathryn placed a hand on Chakotay’s chest, “This is my husband, Chakotay.” 

“Ah, yes, we met before, at the Anthropology lecture held here last fall,” Picard. 

“My wife, Dr. Beverly Crusher,” he said, indicated a red haired woman who followed him in. Kathryn and Chakotay shook hands with the doctor,   
“This is our son,” Jean-Luc said. 

Picard’s son held out his hand to Andrew. 

“René Picard,” he said. 

“Andrew Janeway,” Andrew said. The two boys shook hands. 

“We’re thinking about grabbing lunch after he’s settled in, care to join us?” Chakotay asked. 

Dr. Crusher looked to Picard and said, “We’d love to.”

After lunch, the group headed back to the cadets’s dorm and Kathryn found herself lingering. It was clear that Andrew was ready to be on his own but Kathryn found that saying goodbye was causing her eyes to glisten with tears and form a lump in the back of her throat. Chakotay hugged his son goodbye, whispering something in his ear. Andrew approached his mother, smiling. He was such a handsome boy, so much like her Chakotay. She could see his twin in his face. She took her son’s face in her hands. 

“Promise me you will stay out of trouble,” she said. 

“Mom, when have I gotten into trouble?” Andrew said in mock outrage. 

“Since I’ve let you spend time with Tom Paris,” Kathryn said. 

Andrew grinned at his mother and pulled her close for a hug. Kathryn clung to her eldest child, cradling his head to her shoulder. She pulled back, gathering his face in her hands once more. She kissed his forehead and Andrew blushed, avoiding eye contact with his new roommate.   
“Mom…” he said embarrassed. 

“Let’s meet for lunch sometime and you can tell me all about your first few weeks,” Kathryn said. 

“Yeah,” Andrew said. 

Kathryn let go of her son and turned to leave. 

“Hey, Mom,” Andrew said. 

Kathryn turned and Andrew rushed forward and hugged her. 

“I love you,” he said. 

Kathryn couldn’t stop the tears from falling her from her eyes as she hugged him back. She pulled away and placed a hand on his chest. Chakotay joined the two of them and squeezed Andrew’s shoulder. 

“You’re going to have a wonderful time,” she said. 

Andrew smiled. 

Chakotay took Kathryn’s hand in his and the two of them left Andrew’s dorm. 

Kathryn stretched out on the chaise lounge on the balcony. The doors were open to the fall air and a cool breeze swept through into their townhouse. Kathryn missed her son terribly and she had only dropped him off a few hours ago. Chakotay left her alone to collect her thoughts. She knew he would join her soon and pull her out of her funk. She honestly didn’t thinking saying goodbye would be so damn difficult. Kathryn sighed hearing footsteps approach her. 

“It’s a nice night,” Chakotay said. 

“It is,” Kathryn agreed. 

Chakotay perched on the edge of the chaise lounge, leaning on one arm, trapping her there. His eyes twinkled with amusement.   
“I don’t see why you’re so damn happy,” Kathryn said. 

“You’re really struggling with this,” Chakotay said, his tone was light but she could hear the worry in his voice.   
Kathryn sat up.

“Please tell me I’m not the only one having difficulties here,” she said before flopping back onto the chaise again. 

Chakotay sighed, “No, I miss him too. But I can’t help thinking this is how our parents felt when we left for the Academy.”

“I don’t have to like it,” Kathryn said. It seemed to be her mantra for the past few days and she was sticking to it. 

She threw her arm over her eyes and sighed again. Chakotay leaned closer. His hand rubbed her side, from her hips to her ribs. 

“Don’t think of it as goodbye. We have to find the good in it. He’ll have an amazing experience and a chance to follow his passion,” he said. 

“You’re right, I wouldn’t want to deny him that,” Kathryn said. She removed her arm from her face and attempted to smile. 

“I bet I can cheer you up,” Chakotay said. 

“Oh?” 

Chakotay leaned closer, maneuvering his body so he rolled on top of her. He stole quick kisses from her then ducked lower. He kissed his way up her arm and she chuckled. Then he moved to her shoulder, her collarbone. All the while, Kathryn’s laugh continued to grow. Chakotay began to kiss her chest then he buried his face between her breasts. Kathryn clutched his hair and shrieked his name, laughing loudly. She pulled him up to her face but he changed course and started to kiss her neck, Kathryn laughing as he tickled her neck with his lips and tongue. Neither one of them noticed Edward and Taya watching from just inside. Taya rolled her eyes and shook her head smiling. Edward beamed at his sister, elated at his parents’ happiness. 

****

Kathryn entered the lab at UCLA. It looked like every other scientific research lab that Kathryn had visited. But what struck her the most was how much all the containers of plants reminded her of Kes. The young Ocompan who tended to Voyager’s hydroponics bay had been very dear to her and Kathryn suddenly wished that she could tell Kes everything she missed. Kathryn walked around the lab passing different stations and growth chambers. She’d been here before multiple times and found her daughter working at her usual station.   
Taya looked up when her mother approached. 

“Hey,” she said smiling. 

She had her long dark hair pulled back and despite strongly resembling her father; Kathryn could see her grandmother and aunt in her face and in that way, herself. 

“Hey,” Kathryn said. 

She hugged her daughter. 

“What are you working on?” she asked. 

“A new kind of genetic test for some vegetables,” Taya said, placing a padd down. 

“Sounds fascinating,” Kathryn said.

“It is,” said Taya with a smile. 

“We’re hoping to introduce a new variety of crops that thrive in extreme conditions.”   
“That could help a lot of people,” Kathryn said. 

“I hope so.” 

Kathryn beamed at her daughter. 

“May I see?” 

Taya handed her padd to her mother. The scientist in Kathryn was always interested in new discoveries. Although most of her interests fell among the stars, she developed an appreciation for her daughter’s work. She glanced it over and as Taya watched her.   
“No Dad this time?” she asked. 

“He had a meeting he couldn’t get out of. He’s disappointed,” Kathryn said. 

“I’ll be home in a couple of months. I have a surprise for him.”

“Oh?” Kathryn said, placing the padd done at the workstation. 

“Don’t tell him, alright?” Taya said sitting up straighter on her stool. 

“I swear” Kathryn said, holding up her hand as an oath. 

“My proposal has been accepted by the Daystrom Institute. We’re going to start the first series of plantings on Trebus after graduation,” Taya said.   
Kathryn was surprise and extremely proud, “The Daystrom Institute. That’s wonderful! Congratulations!” Kathryn hugged her daughter. 

“Your father will be so proud.”

“The colony is thriving and I think some of my genetic testing and new varieties of some of my plants could help,” said Taya.   
“I know it will,” Kathryn said. 

Taya had turned out to be a brilliant scientist, which pleased Kathryn beyond belief. She would love her daughter no matter what path she followed, but their mutual love of science made Kathryn feel closer to her. Taya signed off from her workstation.

“Have you talked to your brother recently?” Kathryn asked.   
“Which one?”

“Andrew,” Kathryn said. 

“We spoke a bit ago, why?” Taya said. 

“I was just wondering who this young woman was…”

Taya whipped around, smiling impishly. 

“Is that why you came to visit? To see who Andrew was dating?”

“No…I came to have lunch with you,” Kathryn said defensively. 

Taya gave her mother an expression that reminded her so much of Chakotay, Kathryn smiled. 

“Well, Andrew didn’t say much,” Taya said, eyeing her mother suspiciously, “but he did say, Emily was very nice. She’s a geologist, I think.”   
“Hmmm” Kathryn said. 

“I’ve met her,” Taya said, standing up from her workstation. 

“What? When?”

“Months ago. He came to visit and brought her along but they weren’t dating at the time.”   
“I see.”

“She’s really alright,” Taya said. 

“Why hasn’t he introduced her to the rest of us?” Kathryn wondered aloud. 

“Because you’re Admiral Janeway. He didn’t want to overwhelm her.” 

“I wouldn’t…”

Taya held up her hands, “I’m just saying, meeting two very famous Starfleet officers can be a little overwhelming, especially for a cadet.”  
Kathryn eyed her daughter who leveled her own smirk back at her. 

“A geologist, huh?”

“Apparently so,” Taya said. 

The pair of them left the lab and exited the building. They walked through campus for a while chatting about Edward’s first year at the Academy, Kathryn’s next assignment, and Chakotay’s plans. 

“I honestly think he’s considering retirement,” said Kathryn. 

“Really?” Taya said, “What will he do afterwards?”

“I’m not sure. I’m not even sure he knows. He’s still recovering from that nasty flu virus that was going around. But he’s brought up leaving the Academy several times.”

“What about you?”

“Oh, I’m not ready to retire just yet,” Kathryn said. 

They found a quiet restaurant and ordered lunch. 

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. I went out on a date recently,” Taya said. 

“With Michael?”

Taya shook her head, “Derek,” she said, “He’s a mathematician.”

“Really?” Kathryn said smiling, “You’re grandmother would have been so proud.”

Taya smiled at her mother. 

“We went out for coffee on our first date,” Taya said. 

“Oh, he’s a keeper then,” said Kathryn. 

Mother and daughter burst out laughing and Taya rolled her eyes.

“Well, I leave for Trebus after graduation, let’s see if he sticks around after that. If it came down between him and my research. I’ll pick the research. I have plenty of time to find someone,” she said. 

Kathryn nodded. 

“Just promise me you won’t push aside your own personal happiness for the work. You need a good balance. Now, speaking of research, tell me more how my daughter’s work was accepted by the Daystrom Institute,” Kathryn said.


	18. End of a Journey

“I think we need to get away,” Kathryn said. 

“I’m just stressed,” Chakotay said. 

“You’ve been talking about retirement.”

“I know.”

“Well?” Kathryn said, she folded her arms over her chest as she sat on the couch on the opposite side of Chakotay’s desk. 

“You really should try to relax more, that virus really took a lot out of you,” she said. 

Chakotay leaned back in his desk chair. 

“Maybe you’re right,” he said. 

“Of course I’m right,” said Kathryn throwing her arms up in the air. 

Chakotay chuckled and got up from the desk to sit next to her. 

“You’d think by now, I’ve learned that you’re always right,” he said. 

Kathryn smiled, “One of the joys of being an Admiral.”

“I thought it was of being a Captain.”

“I changed my mind,” said Kathryn. 

“Admiral’s prerogative,” Chakotay said before Kathryn could say it. 

Kathryn laughed and playfully swatted him. 

“Seriously,” she said through her smile, “We really should get away. The semester’s over, the kids will be fine on their own.”   
“Taya will be leaving Earth soon. I want to spend time with her,” Chakotay said. 

“You will but it won’t do you any good if you’re too burnt out to enjoy yourself.”

Chakotay rubbed the bridge of his nose.

“What did you have in mind?” he asked. 

Kathryn placed a hand on his thigh.

“Well, I have plenty of leave and I was thinking we steal away to Lake George.”

Chakotay smiled, remembering their honeymoon.

“I’m very fond of Lake George,” he said. 

Kathryn smiled, “So am I.”

She started to stroke his thigh and Chakotay grinned at her. 

“I’m not sure I can measure up to my younger self. The last time we were there alone was quite…eventful.”

Kathryn ran her hand up his thigh, stopping dangerously close to his crotch. 

“I’m just saying we go to relax,” she said whispering in his ear as she pressed close to him. 

“Okay. Count me in,” Chakotay said. 

Kathryn beamed. 

“Good, I’ll see you at home. Tonight we need to pack. We leave tomorrow.”

She left the room without another word. 

“Wha-” Chakotay started. 

He laughed and shook his head. She had planned it all along. She probably had the head of Starfleet Academy approve his leave himself. Spirits, how he loved that woman. Kathryn was right. Their romantic getaway was exactly what the two of them needed. As Chakotay law awake with Kathryn’s hand on his chest, he felt so content. He kissed the sleeping woman in his arms, the memories of their afternoon sails, the long walks in the woods, talking by a dying fire, and relaxing in a tub together, flooded his mind as he drifted off to sleep. If retirement met more of this, Chakotay thought, it didn’t seem so bad. 

 

**** 

Chakotay finished packing up the items on his shelf in his office. It had been several years since he and Kathryn had their romantic getaway to Lake George. They had finally came to decision for him to retire. The virus that had hit him so hard before came back and left him extremely weak. Kathryn had insisted that he slow down and Chakotay agreed. So his retirement was official and his last semester as an Academy professor came to a close. Chakotay packed the last few items in a storage container when there was a knock on the door. He turned to find his youngest child standing just outside his office door. 

“Eddie,” Chakotay said with a smile. 

“Hi Dad,” Edward said. He stepped through the threshold of Chakotay’s office and hugged his father. 

“So it’s true, you’re retiring,” he said. 

Chakotay looked around his packed up office, 

“Looks like it,” he said. 

He eyed his son and added, “You didn’t stop by just for my retirement, did you?”

Edward smiled, “I came to see Andrew’s new baby. I heard she’s adorable.”

Chakotay smiled and nodded, “She is.”

“Need any help with these?” Edward said. 

Chakotay shook his head; “They’ll beam them home later.”

Father and son left the office and walked to the transporter station. After they beamed to the neighborhood where Kathryn and Chakotay lived, Edward said to his father, “I have a new assignment.”

“Oh?”

“A deep space assignment, for four years, as second officer.”

Chakotay nodded, “Second officer already, huh? You keep that up you’ll be a captain faster than your mother was,” he said gruffly.   
Edward smiled but noticed the tone of his father’s voice,

“You’re not happy about it?”

“Of course I’m happy. It’s what you want. It’s just…” Chakotay stopped and turned to face his son. 

“Don’t go to the Delta quadrant,” he said, “It’s too damn far away.” 

Edward smiled and clapped his father on the shoulder, “It’s not in the Delta quadrant,” he assured him. 

“Good,” said Chakotay. 

The pair of them walked down the street until they reached the Janeway home. Edward opened the door and stood aside to let his father walk through first. 

“Surprise!” 

Chakotay looked around in shock at his friends, colleagues, and family as they all jumped out from behind furniture and doorways, the Doctor rematerialized, and Kathryn pulled him the rest of way inside. 

When Edward slipped past him, Chakotay hissed, “You knew about this.”

Edward just smiled and kissed his mother on the cheek and went to go stand by his sister, who was clutching the arm of her fiancé, Derek.   
“Happy retirement,” Kathryn said clutching his arm. She kissed him lightly and pulled him into the room. 

There were many congratulations and questions about his plans for the future. Chakotay happily chatted with everyone, getting updates on his friend’s lives, their children’s lives. Eventually the party died down and only the Voyager senior staff and their families were left. Chakotay sat on the couch, his granddaughter, April Janeway, in his arms. She had her father’s dark hair.

Chakotay smiled down at the sleeping infant. He simply stared at her. A feeling of pride filling his chest that his child had made this tiny human being in his arms, and the fact that a small part of both him and Kathryn lived in this human too, amazed him.   
“Beautiful, isn’t she?” Kathryn said as she sat next to him on the couch. 

Without taking his eyes from the baby, Chakotay said, “She is.”

He felt Kathryn run her fingers through his shortly cropped white hair then down to the nape of his neck.   
“It’s amazing, isn’t it?” he said. 

“It feels like just yesterday we were holding Andrew in our arms,” said Kathryn. 

Chakotay nodded as Andrew’s wife, Emily sat on his other side. 

“How’s she doing?” she asked. 

Chakotay smiled at her, “Sleeping like a baby,” he said. 

He carefully transferred the baby to her mother’s arms and sighed coughing a little.   
“I think I need to go lie down,” he said. 

He stood and Kathryn followed him. He held her hand as he walked up stairs to their bedroom. Chakotay leaned against the doorframe and Kathryn slipped her arm around his waist. 

“Are you alright?”

“I’m not sure. I feel weak all of a sudden,” said Chakotay. 

Chakotay reached out for the bed and stumbled. He lost his balance and fell. 

“Chakotay!” Kathryn shouted and knelt next to him. 

She ran her hands over his chest to his neck to check his pulse. His heart was racing. 

“Doctor! Doctor!” She shouted downstairs. 

Moments later the Doctor burst into the room, followed by Edward, Andrew, Taya, and Derek. 

The Doctor scanned Chakotay with a tricorder as Kathryn held his hand. 

“Daddy?” Taya said, her voice shaking. 

“Dad, are you okay?” Edward said. 

“We need to get him to Starfleet Medical, now,” The Doctor said. 

Kathryn turned to her children and Derek and said, “I’ll contact you later.”

The Doctor called for an emergency beam out and he, Chakotay and Kathryn disappeared. 

Chakotay was in the hospital for three days, Kathryn never leaving his side. His condition deteriorated and the Doctor had to deliver the unpleasant news to Kathryn and her children. 

“I’m afraid, there’s nothing more I can do,” he said sadly. 

Kathryn stroked Chakotay’s hair as he lay on the biobed before her. Taya had tears streaming down her face. Andrew had his arm around her shoulders, his tears threatening to fall. Edward just stared down at his father. 

“How long?” Chakotay rasped. 

“There’s no way to know,” the Doctor replied. 

Chakotay nodded, wincing in pain as he did so. Kathryn placed a hand on his chest while her other hand stroked his hair, trying to comfort him. Chakotay started wheezing and the Doctor scanned him. He put the tricorder away and looked at Kathryn. Kathryn knew without having the Doctor tell her, it won’t be long now. 

Kathryn motioned for each of her children to say goodbye. Each tearfully hugged their father as Chakotay touched each of their faces and kissed their cheeks. They shared I love yous and each child stood back to allow their mother time with their father. 

Kathryn leaned in close, tears in her eyes as she looked at Chakotay. She tried to smile as she stroked his hair. 

“Kathryn,” Chakotay said. 

“I’m here. I’m not going anywhere,” she said. 

Chakotay was having trouble breathing and Kathryn whispered to him, trying to calm him. 

“Remember when we first met,” she said he voice shaking with emotion, “you were so angry and I stepped between you and Tom. I knew then we had something special between us.”

Chakotay tried to smile but it was more like a grimace. 

“And New Earth. It was our paradise. No matter how much I wanted to get back to Voyager.”

She leaned in even closer, her lips brushing his ear, “And remember our first night together. You felt so good, so right,” she whispered.   
Chakotay weakly reached for her and touched her arm. 

“Kiss me,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Kathryn obliged, kissing him as passionately as she dared. 

Chakotay winced and clutched her hand as a warning alarm sounded. The Doctor silenced the alarm quickly.   
“Chakotay,” Kathryn said, “I love you.”

“Love…you…so much,” Chakotay rasped, his eyes never leaving her face. 

“Look Chakotay,” Kathryn said. She pointed to their three children who all stood at the foot of his bed, “look what we made.”  
Chakotay’s eyes slipped from hers as he gazed at his children. Then, with enormous effort, he looked back at his beloved Kathryn.   
“Kathryn,” he said. 

His eyelids started to droop and his grip on Kathryn’s hand weakened. 

“Love you,” he said. 

His eyes fell shut. 

“Kathryn,” he said breathlessly. 

His hand slipped from hers and fell to the bed. Kathryn gasped and looked up at the monitors, there was no pulse and when she looked at the Doctor, he simply shook his head. 

Kathryn felt a lump in her throat. She looked back at Chakotay, who was so still. She felt the dam holding back her tears burst and a sob escaped her. She pressed her face into the crook of Chakotay’s neck. She couldn’t stop the heaving sobs as she clung to her husband. 

“Chakotay,” she cried, “Oh, my love.”

The Doctor rubbed her back as she continued to sob. The three Janeway children hugged each other, crying at the loss of their father. Andrew pulled himself together first, only to leave the room and start sobbing on the shoulder of his wife. Taya and Edward tried to comfort their mother but eventually the Doctor ushered them out of the room to give Kathryn time alone. 

The Doctor announced to the Voyager crew members who came to see Chakotay the sad news. B’Elanna cried in Tom’s arms. Harry sat back in his chair, his daughter climbing into his lap immediately and patted his cheek. 

The Doctor escorted Kathryn home long after her children returned to her apartment. Kathryn went straight to her bedroom as soon as she arrived home. She pulled one of Chakotay’s uniforms from his closet and held it to her. She breathed in his scent and started to sob again. Kathryn had never experience this kind of pain, a loss so painful, her gut wrenching sobs seemed to rip her apart from the inside. Losing her mother didn’t hurt this badly. She clutched Chakotay’s uniform to her chest. The pain of his loss sent stabbing jolts through her body. Kathryn sat on the bed, trying to breathe. Her chest ached and she cried out, 

“Chakotay,” she said. 

She clutched her chest, the pain almost overwhelming. She collapsed forward and landed on the floor with a thud.

“Mom?” called a voice at the bottom of the stairs. 

Kathryn couldn’t move, the pain spread throughout her body. She clung to Chakotay’s uniform with all her might. 

“Mom?” the voice called again, closer this time. 

Kathryn’s eyes slid shut. 

“Mom!” Edward shouted. 

Kathryn barely registered her son falling to her side, screaming for the Doctor. 

Her other children gathered around, completely distraught. Kathryn couldn’t head the Doctor shouting instructions; it all seemed to slip away. She clung to Chakotay’s uniform. She needed her angry warrior. Another searing jolt of pain coursed through her chest. “Chakotay,” she said as her eyes closed and everything went black. 

When she opened her eyes again, she was standing in a field. It was sunny and a warm breeze blew over her. She wasn’t sure where she was but the thought of not knowing didn’t concern her. Kathryn walked along admiring the serene location when she saw a figure walk toward her. Kathryn raised a hand to shield her eyes from the sun but was still unable to recognize who it was until the figure came closer. Kathryn soon remembered the broad shoulders, the patient walk, and dark hair. She rushed forward, running as fast as she could. She flung her arms around the man’s neck and kissed him desperately. 

“Chakotay! Oh, Chakotay, my love!” she said, kissing him again and again, clinging to him. Never wanting to let go. 

“Hello Kathryn,” he said. 

He smiled at her, his face full of love and adoration. He looked younger, healthy, and happy. He wrapped his arms around her waist and the two of them stared at each other. 

“What are you doing here? She asked, her hands tracing his full lips and dark tattoo.   
“You-”

“Died?” Chakotay finished for her, “Yes.”

Kathryn looked confused. 

“Then where are we?”

“The afterlife,” he said simply. 

“Then, I? Kathryn couldn’t find the words. 

“You collapsed on the floor of our bedroom. The night that I died,” Chakotay explained. 

Kathryn was silent for several moments, letting her mind, or was it her soul, process everything. Chakotay patiently watched her. She looked up at Chakotay and smiled. She placed a hand on his cheek and Chakotay leaned into her touch. 

“I told you I couldn’t image a day without you,” she said. 

Chakotay continued to smile. He grabbed her hand and the two of them started walking. Kathryn stopped suddenly. 

“The children,” she said. 

“Will be fine,” Chakotay said, “They aren’t really children anymore and we’ve taught them everything they need to know.”

Reassured, Kathryn walked thought the field, her angry warrior by her side, forever.


	19. Chapter 19

Federation New Service Coverage 

Correspondent: Jake Sisko 

The funerals for Admiral Kathryn Janeway and her husband, Captain Chakotay were held just outside Bloomington Indiana. It was a gray, cloudy day, with strong gusts of wind. Mourners gathered in a field near a big oak tree at the Janeway family home. A freshly carved headstone stood next to that Admiral Edward Janeway and his wife, Gretchen’s, graves. Former Voyager crew members and their families stood behind the three Janeway children as Starfleet admiral Fairfield spoke. The eldest of the Janeway children, stood with his arm around his twin sister. There were no tears in the Lieutenant’s eyes but a profound sense of loss could clearly been seen on his face. His twin sobbed freely. Expressing her grief in the most basic way a human can. The youngest stood with his hands clasped behind his back. He stared at the ground, not deliberately hiding his grief but needing to process the loss of his beloved parents in this own way. Both men wore the same tattoo as their father. Honoring him, their heritage, and all of their ancestors before them. 

After the ceremony, mourners shook hands and shared hugs with the Janeway children. Andrew hugged his best friend René Picard and his wife, Natasha Riker-Troi, before they left. Captain Kim went to stand by the grave of his former commanding officers, speaking words only meant for them. His daughter clung to his hand, eager to leave, not quite old enough to understand the purpose of her father’s moment of goodbye. The Voyager senior staff stayed the longest. They all watched as an elderly Tuvok, supported by his sons, walked to his former captain’s grave. The Vulcan stood and shakily raised his hand his fingers spread in a Vulcan salute. He murmured a Vulcan prayer before leaving. 

When he left, there was a sudden bright flash that many confused for lightning, until a young man appeared in front of the grave, a look of deep sadness on his. He walked to the headstone and placed his hand upon it. The young man was recognized as the Q entity’s son. The man was fond of his Aunt Kathy, and with a snap of his fingers, a large bouquet of red roses appeared at the foot of the headstone. He paused for another moment and turned to face the Voyager senior staff. He nodded at him and with a final snap of his fingers, he was gone. After saying goodbye to the Voyager senior officers, the three Janeway children were the only ones left at the grave site. The stood arm in arm, talking softly. A rumble of thunder sounded in the distance and the youngest son, Edward, looked to the sky. The three siblings made their way inside the Janeway farmhouse before the rain started to fall. The heavens opened upon the Earth and wept for the loss of such a great, deep love. Raindrops fell onto the headstone that read: 

Admiral Kathryn Janeway

Captain, USS Voyager

Chakotay

First Officer, USS Voyager

A captain and her angry warrior, side by side, forever. 

_ “…But I can tell you a story, an ancient legend among my people. It's about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe. A man who couldn't find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide. For years he struggled with his discontent. The only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day, he and his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her because her tribe was too small and weak to defend itself from all its enemies. The woman warrior was brave, and beautiful. And very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first. And in that way, the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace.  _ "

This is Jake Sisko for the Federation News Service covering the memorial for Admiral Kathryn Janeway and her husband. Next week, we have an exclusive interview with the Janeway children and we discuss their parents, their favorite memories, and their plans for the future.

Addition: I regret to inform readers that Kathryn Janeway’s old friend Tuvok passed away on his way home to Vulcan the day of the memorial service. He was surrounded by family. His wife said in a statement, that she was pleased her husband had the strength to say goodbye to his former Captain and friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A long fluffy future with a bittersweet ending. Not my best work but it has its moments. 
> 
> Again, this was mainly to help me through emotional upheaval years ago and I stand by the fact that I did become a better writer since then. 
> 
>  
> 
> Just some quick notes....
> 
> I didn't want Kathryn's relationship with her daughter to only be talking about boys, etc...but I wanted to show that Kathryn did have a feminine girl talk kind of side, so I hope people are okay with that. 
> 
> Also, I felt that in the episode 11:59 it showed us how much Kathryn valued family and I felt that Kathryn wanted to have one - if possible - so this was my answer, giving her a linage and one to be proud of. 
> 
> That being said, I feel that Edward is the most interesting, being the only one to become a command officer. My head cannon is Edward becomes a young starship captain exploring the universe with the intensity his mother did and the patience and wonder for culture his father taught him.


End file.
